


English Room 111

by Tamawind



Category: Homestuck
Genre: All the characters tbh - Freeform, Bullying, DAVE IS FINALLY HERE, DAVE IS HERE, Highschool AU, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Poor John, RING THE FUCKING CHRUCHBELLS SHARE IT ON TUMBLR, Rape, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, Sadstuck, Self-Harm, You aren't missing anything I swear you will still get the story, for right now, magical desk, please if you are triggered by rape just skip the chapter that contains it, really I feel bad for him and I wrote him into this situation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-08
Updated: 2016-02-08
Packaged: 2018-04-03 12:14:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 29
Words: 61,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4100590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tamawind/pseuds/Tamawind
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your name is John Egbert and you don't think you've ever been more down in your life.</p><p>Because of your dads baking industry kicking off unbelievably well he decided to take you from the lovely suburbs of Washington to the bustling city of LA.</p><p>Granted your dad being the loving caring father he is sent you to a pretty small private school, but that just meant more people knew eachother and for longer times and let's just say not everyone was in favor of the new kid showing up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I watched a YouTube video about this and I wanted to write something based off of it so here this is!

Your name is John Egbert and you don't think you've ever been more down in your life.

Because of your dads baking industry kicking off unbelievably well he decided to take you from the lovely suburbs of Washington to the bustling city of LA.

Granted your dad being the loving caring father he is sent you to a pretty small private school, but that just meant more people knew eachother and for longer times and let's just say not everyone was in favor of the new kid showing up.

He looked down at his schedule to see what class he had first when all his stuff was knocked down by some jock. "Watch it faggot" he said snickering and moving on, leaving John to collect all the papers and notebooks.

Okay maybe the rainbow bracelet sporting the words "Homosexual" was not the best way to go about letting the students know his sexual orientation. But after the whole Narnia fiasco at his old school he felt he should get it out in the open right away.

Picking up his schedule he looked at the room number. 111 English. He entered the room using his books as a sort of shield to avoid the stares he was un doubtfully getting. He glanced at the teacher who pointed at a desk in the far back corner. 

John sighed making his way through looking at the people around him. All huddled in little groups talking loudly about some person named Terezi's party. From the sounds of it there were lots of colors and vibrant music. It sounded just like something he'll never get invited to. John grabbed his notebook out as the bell rang and tried to focus on what the teacher was saying. 

His attention soon switched to his desk where he found more interest in the old wood then the boring lecture. As the teacher gave the OK to socialize everyone gathered in groups again leaving John left out. He stared at a very cute, very angry boy who was currently screaming at a stoned....clown? 

John looked away from the people. They only caused him to miss his friends back at home even more.

What he wouldn't do to have Jade talk his ear off about the cute new puppy the shelter just got. He twirled his pencil, his gaze falling back onto the desk. It sucked being left out of group circles. John lazily started to move his hand, writing something out of complete and utter boredom.

"Hi my name is John"


	2. Chapter 2

John walked into the hallways of his new school for his second day. It was all pretty mundane and uninteresting until he opened his locker.

He knew before something was going to happen because a few people, including the guy who called him a fag, were standing across from it just staring at him.

He should've cautiously opened it but instead he opened it like every other day and ended up covered in glitter. 

"Someone smells fabulous" a feminine voice said from somewhere near John but he just ignored it. 

He had to admit the glitter bomb was a fantastic idea, he had to applaud them on that, and if he hadn't promised his dad to quit his pranking ways he would've already been scheming for his comeback.

Walking into room 111 he took the familiar seat he now claimed as his. he dropped his books on the desk and slumped down into the chair, glitter fell as he did so.

John sighed deeply, ruffling his already wind swept hair to make even more glitter fall out. His actions caused many people to stare and laugh at him. It was okay though, not like he wouldn't be doing the same thing if he was in their place.

Finally most of the glitter was out and class had started. after putting away the books he didn't need he finally realized what was written under his now smeared greeting. 

"Hey, the names Dave"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tbh this is really short but it won't be as I get further along


	3. Chapter 3

"Hey, the names Dave"

Johns eyes lit up. He forgot all about his shitty day and focused on one thought. Someone replied! John fumbled in his bag for his pencil. He had to unzip several pockets before letting out a silent yes when his hand wrapped around one. 

"Hi Dave! What's up!" 

The bell rang and a few people glanced at the seemingly out of character John, he was smiling and practically jumping out of the room. 

He went to home still happy. He looked at the receiver on his home phone and saw the light blinking. He pressed a button and Jades voice filled the empty house.

"JOHN! How have you been? We all miss you back at home. We can't wait till you come and visit, Jake won't stop going on about his new boyfriend and I really wish you were here to help me shut him up. Remember the ghost buster game we played on your birthday? Jake found it in his closet and won't stop bugging me to play, that game seriously sucks, I forgot just how much so until Jake started actually getting into it" 

John chuckled a little and listened to Jade speak. 

"Seriously though we all miss you here, hope your making friends over there, we'll see you here in a few months so just look forward to that! I love you, Bye!"

John sighed, he hadn't made much progress in the friend department. The only person he's actually talked to is Dave and he hasn't even actually spoken to him.

He fell back onto the bed smiling, despite the fact he never met Dave in person he's still a person. A person who replied to his silly desk writing. He closed his eyes actually looking forward to class the next day.

Running through the halls, John almost knocked Aradia and Terezi down. He didn't even try to apologize as he made it to room 111 with plenty of time to spare.

"I'm great. Totally bored though, come be my knight in shining armor and save me." 

Dave had replied to John. Johns heart sped up as he reminded himself to slow down. He took a seat and thought about his reply. It's not like he didn't have the whole class to think of one.

The most obvious answer would be to say, "haha" but that was too short. 

Johns face became one of concentration and discontent. Nothing he thought of was the right reply. 

He began to furiously scribble on his notebook. Why was he so stressed about this it was just a random person, for all he knows it could be the janitor. 

John sighs defeated as he finally grabs the pencil. 

"haha, what class?" 

He looks up to see everyone leaving, he quickly got up to leave following behind the teacher when he noticed a lack of weight on his shoulders.

John quickly darted back to the room and reached down for his bag. He caught sight of the desk and froze. underneath his last reply was another one from Dave.

He sat down grabbing his pencil. He read the reply, "English, you?" 

He gripped the pencil tighter, maybe Dave was a ghost.

"Im in English too, how are you doing this?" 

He held his breathe not really knowing what to expect next. He saw words appear and jumped back, scared. He tentatively looked at the reply.

"I was going to ask you the same thing, this is some Harry Potter shit were pulling right here" 

John laughed, he had to admit his mind did wander to Harry Potter.

"Your in English right? What's the room number?" 

John held his breathe again. 

"Room 111 and my class is over, talk to you later John!"

John froze. Dave was probably dead. He was probably a ghost with unfinished business. To why Dave was haunting this desk was a mystery that John didn't want to solve. He smiled though now having a friend to talk to in class. He wrote a short message back to Dave. 

"Bye" 

He smiled as he realized the conversation has taken them to the edge of the desk. He quickly erased it and smiled at the thought of tomorrow. 

John happily grabbed his bag and walked out of the classroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tbh I think I have like 2 more parts at least finished so I'll upload them soon


	4. Chapter 4

The next day John was the first in the room. He already had his pencil in his hand and ready to write.

"Good morning Dave"

John smiled and took a second to mess with his rainbow bracelet. 

"Good morning Jonathan" 

John made a face at the ridiculous name, sure it was his full name but he preferred John a lot more.

"David that is not my name"

"Just as David is not mine"

John bites his lip to fight off the impending wave of giggles.

"Your a huge dork Dave"

"Striders aren't dorks John" as if to prove his point a crudely drawn self portrait of the ghost boy Dave appeared. 

"Even with your poor art skills I can tell you must be a dork, please tell me you don't actually wear those shades." 

The shades he were talking about were some weird triangle shape that John could not for the life of him, place.

"Don't dis the shades bro"

"Aw man you do wear them!" 

"I have sensitive eyes plus they're cool in a totally un ironic way" 

John laughed, Dave was a huge dork. 

"When I meet you I'll give you even cooler ones"

John wrote it before he even thought through it in his head. What was he thinking, Dave was dead, he wasn't even a real person anymore. 

"If they meet up to my standards I'll wear them"

The bell rang causing John to snap his head up, everyone was getting up to leave.   
John quickly wrote his reply. 

"Trust me strider, they will"

John erased everything since the filled the desk up again. He left quickly, all the while thinking of the boy with weird triangle shades.

"Hey you!" 

John almost dropped his stuff. 

"M-me?" 

"No the other person who just so happens to be standing in the exact same spot as you" 

John was confused and looked around him before he realized it was a joke, "oh" he said, blushing realizing what an idiot he was. 

John finally looked up at the boy, it was the one he thought was really cute but also really angry the first day. 

"The names Karkat what's yours, gay boy"

John cringed at the name, "Im John, n-not gay boy" 

This caused the very cute boy in front of him to laugh.

The laugh was absolutely adorable and caused Johns face to heat up. 

"Dude you wear a very flamboyant, rainbow homosexuality bracelet, I couldn't call you four eyes since that's this other dick bags name and I didn't actually know your real name."

"Oh" 

"Anyways I'm here to invite you to a party, tonight at Terezi's place and just so you know since your new Terezis parties are the shit, like super fucking live, you should go" 

John was shocked, he was getting invited to a party? Him? John Egbert? 

"I'm invited?" John asked uncertain of the events going on, maybe this was all a joke, John was great at jokes he would know.

"Yes dumbass I did just say that or is your attention span so small you DIDNT EVEN LISTEN TO ME" Karkat said, his voice raising from a little above normal to yelling. 

"Can I ask another question" John asked hesitantly.

"YOUR GOING TO ASK ANYWAYS SO WHY THE FUCK NOT"

"Why is she inviting me?" Karkat actually calmed down after he said that, even allowing the corner of his mouth to turn up in a half assed attempt to smile.

"Because her friend TG won't shut up about you"

"Who?" John was beyond confused, who was this TG and how did he know John?

This just made Karkat smile, "Bye gay boy, this guys gotta get some lunch" 

Karkat pushed away from the wall and left towards the lunch room. Leaving John utterly confused and speechless. 

John eventually moved from his spot after a few people gave him odd looks. He headed the opposite way as Karkat entering the library. 

He ate at the library even though eating here wasn't allowed, the librarian showed him a room in the back no one used full of old bean bags and desks the first day of school feeling bad for him. It was a sweet set up that even included a TV. 

He flipped on the TV opting to watch Bobs Burgers instead of the Maury Show. Not that a good dose of other people's family drama wasn't good for the soul every once in a while, it just got real old real quick.

You took this time you had to text your loving father about the party. 

"Hey dad! I was invited over to Terezis tonight for a party! Can I go?" 

Somewhere inside of him he was really hoping his dad said yes, this whole mystery TG person was really getting him excited. 

Another part of him was also hoping his dad said no, and for the exact same reason.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this ended weird idk

There John stood with Karkat and Gamzee flanking either side of him. He stared at the house with multi color strobe lights wondering why the cops haven't came to this place yet.

"Let's mother fucking go" Gamzee said dragging John inside. 

As they wandered through Karkat began to talk. "Over there is fucking spider bitch" 

"Vriska" Gamzee translated for John.

"The guy in the wheel chair would be Tavros, he's pretty cool, kinda boring and obsessed with Vriska"

"Roxy is the chick drowning herself in liquor"

John looked over at the girl and saw she was talking to Jane, who was Johns sister. 

"Jane?" John said leaving Karkat and Gamzee. 

"John!" Jane said leaving her intoxicated friend where she was. 

"What are you doing at a place like this?"  
Jane said embracing John in a huge hug.

"I could ask you the same! I thought you were back in Washington? Don't you have school?"

Jane made a face, "College is boring, but necessary, I just took a break to visit Roxy, her families moving here in a few months and she's looking at houses."

As she said Roxy she pointed to her friend on currently talking to a boy who looked really familiar. 

"Jake?" John asked causing Jake to look away from Roxy. 

"John! Old chum hows the South been treating you! Any new friends?" Jake said clapping John on the back. 

"I have a few" John said not sure about what he was about to say at all. "️Karkat and Gamzee are pretty cool, and Dave who is really cool"

Roxy looked immediately.

"Davey? Where?" She said draping herself over Jane. 

John freaked out, he had never technically met Dave nor did he know anything other then then the fact he wore some lame totally un-ironic anime glasses. He also freaked out because Roxy seemed to know him. It couldn't be the same Dave though because Johns Dave was dead. 

Jane must've seen the internal freak out John was having because she quickly distracted Roxy leaving you alone. 

His first instinct told him to get the fuck out, your second one told him to eat his weight in food. So he chose the second option instead. 

Making his way through the crowd and into the kitchen was easier then he thought it would be. John saw the bowl of chex mix and immediately grabbed a handful and shoved it in to his mouth.

Huge mistake.

John bit down and realized in horror he had just taken a handful of peanuts, not chex mix. How do you even confuse the two? John didn't have time to expand on that thought because he could already feel the effects start to take place. 

He passed out and faintly heard someone scream. When he woke up Jane and Jake were next to him and he himself was in a hospital bed. 

"Fucking peanut allergies" he muttered and Jane shot up. 

"Your awake!" She said and immediately hugged you. 

Jake did the same muttering something about peanuts.

"Of course I am, how long was I out?" 

"Two days, it's now Sunday" Jake replied moving a hand through his hair. 

The only thing John could think of at the moment was damn. 

"What were you thinking John? A handful of peanuts!" Jane screamed when he was finally released from the hospital and back home. 

"I thought it was something else!" John said knowing how lame that sounded.

Jake shut the door and joined Jane and John in the kitchen. Jane was obviously furious but Jake whispered something to her and she calmed down. 

"It doesn't matter at least your safe, let's agree to keep all of this from Dad." Jane sighed and John and Jake both nodded.

"So why are both of you here?" John asked when they settled in the living room. 

"Well, I'm here to see my new boyfriend, Dirk" Jake said, his cheeks turning a slight pink. 

"And im here to help Roxy and Dirk find places to live down here." Jane said smiling. 

"Wait so that means Jake is going to be staying down here a lot right?" They both nod and you're actually happy about that. 

"That's great!" Maybe I won't be so alone anymore, you add in your head.

Over the next few months you realized just how wrong you were.

You were so very wrong when you thought having Jane and Jake here would help you be less lonely. It only made you feel even more alone since they were almost never were home or free to hang out. 

Karkat and Gamzee haven't spoken a word to you since the party and Dave, well Dave was fine, you craved for the moment when you got to talk to him. 

You also planned on buying those shades you told him about. Even though you'd never get to see the ghost boy it would make you feel like you actually had a real and alive friend. 

In fact you were going today after school, alone of course but you've grown used to that. 

"I figured out what im going to get you for Christmas" John wrote absentmindedly on the desk. 

"You don't have to do that Egbert" 

"I want to besides, it's time those awful anime shades of yours were replaced with something 3000x cooler"

"Id like to see you try to find something cooler then these shades" 

"Oh I will trust me"

The bell rang and you left, the only thing on your mind was proving Dave wrong.

After school Jake picked you up and dropped you off at the mall, "While your in there" Jake said before you exited the car. "try and see if they have any cool looking robot things, I want to get something cool for Dirk for Christmas."

"I'll look but no promises" You said and then shut the door and headed to the mall. 

This year was your first year going by yourself Christmas shopping, you decided to get your dads and Janes presents out of the way. It wasn't hard finding a store that sold cheesey monogrammed baking products. You bought Jane a new mixing bowl and a red wooden spoon with "Jane" written and a light teal blue shade. You opted on the keep calm and bake on apron for your dad and left to go check out. 

You left the store the single bag in hand. You felt awkward being alone. You could see the people around your age some even younger laughing and hanging out with their groups of friends. You were envious of them. 

You wandered the mall, it was much bigger then the one back at your old town. You stopped in a random shop grabbing a double pistols shirt for Jake. Now the real hunt began. Time to look for the best pair of aviator shades you can find. 

You weren't satisfied in any of the stores and even browsed the little kiosks scattered around. It wasn't until you wandered upon the most random kiosk and saw the best pair. They were all black, completely black and mirrored. It was perfect for Daves seemingly cool guy demeanor. You tried to ignore the price and bought them anyway. You were paying with it on your own so no one had to know you spent so much on a ghost boy anyways. 

You checked your phone and saw you still had a decent amount of time until Jake was coming back around to pick you up. You decided to grab a pretzel and maybe a smoothie then read the new chapter of your favorite manga that was released last night. 

You carefully tucked the shades into the bag with Jakes T-shirt. You remember seeing a pretzel place upstairs somewhere so you quickly made your way to the escalator. You were still really uncomfortable about being alone Christmas shopping, you could feel the states from people, that or you were just imagining the states and no one actually cared you were alone. 

Your stomach decides to become a gymnast with the amount of flips it did. Suddenly a pretzel was the last thing you wanted. You found yourself instead wondering into a bookstore. You quickly saw the couches strewn about and made your way to one in the far corner away from everyone. You passed by the "new in teen fiction" shelf and grabbed the first book that looked any good. Your breathing was uneven and shaky and you were going to die. 

You sat in the chair and texted Jake to pick you up. You almost dropped your phone not once out twice typing that out to Jake because your hands were shaking so badly.

You opened the book up trying to force yourself to read the words on the page. It wasn't working. You weren't in the mood to read you wanted to be home, away from people, away from everyone here staring at you. You almost screamed when the two quietly muffled gunshots that signalize Jake replying to you went off. 

"Outside now where I dropped you off, is everything okay?"

You didn't answer you just shoved your phone in your pocket and borderline ran to the exit of the bookstore. It took a whole 3 minutes to reach Jake and another 2 to get him to actually drive. 

"Yes Jake everything is fine im just tired I ne— want to go home"

"If you insist mate" Jake said and left the mall. 

Your stomach didn't feel any better once the mall was out of view, not to mention that your head hurt like a bitch. The car had barely stopped when you grabbed all your bags and got out of the car. 

You ran inside ignoring your father asking how your day was and instead opting to accidently slamming your door, dropping the bags and passing out on the bed.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This may seem like different from how I usually write, or maybe its just me? Idk it felt different writing this then the others, anyways sorry this took so long I never meant it to take this long? I hope the rest dont take as long to update!
> 
> Anyways sorry if this is a but different then my normal writing but its almost 2 am and I really wanted to update this

You woke up to Jane gently shaking you. You sleepily looked up at her, your eyes unable to focus and just opting to send your brain a Jane looking blob. 

"John wake up, I’m taking you to school today" 

You yawned and reached blindly for your glasses resting on your nightstand. You place them on your face before quickly stretching out. 

"Why?" You question and you see another person in the room. 

She looked familiar, what was her name though? Rachel? Rose? Ray? You just look from the strangely familiar person to Jane. 

"Roxy is going to try and get her brother registered in your school so he can start right away" 

Roxy, that sounds about right, you yawn again but nod your head. 

"I'll be ready in 15 minutes" 

Roxy and Jane leave your room and you make your way over to your closet. You glance in the mirror and sigh, you look completely exhausted. If you were being honest with yourself you actually looked like a mess. 

Quickly switching into your new clothes, you grab a towel and head to the bathroom. Washing your face quickly trying to avoid looking in the mirror until after you splashed cold water all over your face. 

You still look tired but more of an 'I-really-didn't-want to-wake-up-and-go-to school-this-morning' instead of the 'I-woke-up-at-3am-and-cried-my-eyes-out-because-life-isn't-fair' type of tired.

Your hair was decent, you dried off your face and ran your fingers through the long since manageable hair. You left the bathroom and grabbed some last minute things such as your phone, headphones and your 3DS. Your bags downstairs and so are Jane and Roxy. You slip your 3DS into your bags front pocket and Jane stands up. 

"You ready?" She asks and you nod. 

"It's still early so I asked Janey if we could all get coffee and breakfast" Roxy said and Jane started speaking right after she ended, "only if you want of course, I told her its up to you whether we go or not" 

You could really go for a caramel macchiato. "Yea coffee sounds great" you say and Roxy lets out a happy sound as she hugs you first then Jane. 

You crack a smile as you head to the door. They follow you out and Janes the one who slips into the drivers seat. Roxy sits in the passenger seat leaving you alone in the back. 

When the car started you really realized how much Roxy never shut up. She talked non stop the whole way. It wasn't even of anything important, she talked about her mom and weird wizard things that seem to be completely normal cause Jane acted like it was all old news. She talked about Jakes boyfriend Dirk who apparently was her brother? You weren't really sure and when she started talking about their sex lives you decided it was time to turn your music on. 

You fished for your headphones before plugging them into your phone. You opened your music and clicked on shuffle. 

"And ever since Da—"

Your eyes widened was she just about to say Dave? Did she know Dave? You couldn't take your headphones out to listen to there conversation that would make it obvious you were listening on to their conversation. So instead you let your mind think of all the possibilities. 

"Ever since Dave died"  
"Ever since Dave had passed away"  
"Ever since Dave was murdered"

Your mind was only thinking off the ghost boy and how Roxy knew him. You stared out the front of the car watching as Jane smoothly switched lanes and passed people going a little slower then Jane liked. You watched as Roxy said something that caused Jane to freeze and turn to John. 

Your look matched hers. You were both so very confused as to what was going on, and you had no idea why. You summed it up to you accidentally singing some of the lyrics of your song but that's not new you usually do that on occasions. 

You completely ignore the whole awkward situation and just stare out the window until Jane pulls into a parking lot. The place looks breath taking, before the actual shop there’s a small patio for anyone wanting to sit outside, the fence surrounding the patio had a pattern in which every other post had lime green stripes going around it like a candy cane. The patio cover was lined with hanging plants in mason jars decorated in teal and lime, All the wood was painted a brilliant white and the borders of tables were painted in a teal that matched the wire chairs placed near them. It looked actually quite amazing, maybe all the cheesy pinterest quotes painted on the window and side of the building were not really necessary but it completed the whole aesthetic of this place.

You got out a few seconds after Jane and Roxy. For some insane reason, Roxy had immense amounts of energy and was practically jumping towards a table. You groaned internally at the fact of not going inside and seeing the way this place was decorated, you bet it was even more amazing then out here. You sit down across from both Jane and Roxy and take your headphones off. A pale woman opens the door, she’s dressed like a waitress and you want to slap yourself because when she comes over and asks if we would like a drink or something to eat you wonder what exactly you were thinking before hand. Of course she’s wearing a waitress outfit and of course she’s a waitress here, you should’ve actually thought before hand. 

“… and what about you? Are you just going to have a drink or should I have the cook heat up the grill and make you some breakfast” You noticed right away she had an English accent. 

“Just some coffee please with lots of—“ Roxy quickly cut you off, “Oh no, no sweety you don’t order and Callie’s you just say if you’re here for a drink or if you want a full blown meal. “ Roxy smiled at you and then turned to the waitress. 

“Callie just do what you do best for Janey’s little bro here” Roxy flashed a bright smile and Callie who’s cheeks turned rosy. 

Callie disappeared inside and you turned a questioning look towards Roxy.

“So they just… they just know what everyone wants? Is that even possible?”

“As possible as can be, I’ve been here 5 times and every single time Callie knows exactly what I want, its like she psychic!” Jane let out a tiny smile at Roxy’s enthusiasm. 

“Anyways John I need to ask you, does your school suck?” You bite your lip, wondering if you should be kind or honest. 

“No?” You say and both Jane and Roxy burst out laughing. 

Roxy looks like she’s about to say something until Callie comes out with a tray topped with 3 drinks and a muffin.

“One Slytherin Snake Bite,” Roxy let out a big smile as she took a sip. 

“Tequila this early in the morning Callie, you know me so well” Roxy mixed her drink with the tiny straw provided.

“One Blueberry muffin with a Ravenclaw Raven, and no worries Roxy is the only one who has alcohol in her drink and for you young man, a Pumpkin Latte, Roxy, Dirk stopped by and paid for you the other day, so your all set whenever your done here!” Callie walked away and Roxy sighed. 

“Dirky did this on purpose” Roxy pouted, causing you to be extremely puzzled but didn’t ask anything because of the look Jane shot at you. 

“Anyways John about that school, what classes do they offer.”  
“Well I’m only in science classes and the other required ones the school makes you take, I’m also in the music program but its kinda lame, I heard the art classes are great though if you know your brother is into that stuff, painting, drawing, photography, video editing.” You always wished you had time to take some of those classes but with your future career path and all these useless classes the school forces you to take before you graduate it’s extremely difficult. 

“Oh he’ll love those, but what about the people” 

“I’m new so I don’t really talk to many people but from what I see they’re pretty cool, decent” You remember the glitter bomb in your locker but you shrug it off, Roxy’s bro must be much cooler then you, everyone is, so he’ll have a much easier time, probably also because he’s straight. You weren’t told that but your willing to bet money on it. 

“Aww that’s okay, your cute, soon you’ll have boys all over you cute plump little ass”

“Roxy that’s my brother!”

“What I’m just saying he’s got a fine ass Janey though yours does rival his”

Jane blushed profously and you made a point to look anywhere else. You glanced at your phone and almost spit out the last of your Pumpkin Latte.

“Guys I have to get to school” You said putting your cup down and standing up. 

“Oh my gosh I totally forgot!” Jane hurriedly followed you to car. 

“Ugh, school I feel like I’m 16 again” Roxy said taking her time to finish up her drink before heading to the car. 

“Roxy your only 18, now put your seat belt on.”

Just as soon as Roxy’s seatbelt on Jane pulled out and raced down the street.

“Rox, how could you let me lose track of time like that!” Roxy makes a noise uncomprehend able to any rational human being. 

You saw the school coming into view and you let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding in. You love Jane but Roxy was bit much especially before you were even fully awake. Jane pulled into a parking lot and you were out of the car almost as soon as it had stopped. 

“Bye love you Jane, nice seeing you again Roxy, but I can’t be late!” You dash off into one of the side doors in the building and automatically regret it because you realize you have to go past the main entrance where a crowd is sure to still be hanging around since the second bell has yet to ring. 

“Shit, shit, shit” you didn’t turn around the corner and chose to stay right by the edge of it, you would go to class a few minutes after the second bell. 

You ignored the stares from the few people who walked past you, none of them bothered you and you made an attempted effort to be fully invisible. You attempted this by staring at your blank phone screen intently. No one was messaging you and you had no one to message. 

At last the bell rang and you waited a few moments before making your way around the corner. 

“Look Janey! There he is!” Roxy ran up to you and pulled you into a tight hug. “Why’d you run off like that Johnny boy! I thought we were having a lovely turn, tune, tume, time” 

“Okay Rox let the poor boy go he has to get to class, John can you just point us in the direction of the main office?” You were still a bit stunned, but nodded you head. 

“Yea, yea I’m going the same way right now so just follow me.”

You walked down the hall and then pointed to a door on the right side of the room. 

“Right there is the office and most likely after that they’ll send you to guidance and that’s down the hall, then instead of the right you take a left and the first door on your left is guidance.”

You pause in your step briefly as Jane pulls you into a tight hug. 

“Thanks John I’ll see you after school have a great day!”

“Bye Bye Johnny!”

You wave goodbye at both of them and make your way down the halls as quickly as you possibly can. 

Your just really lucky your first period teacher likes you.


	7. Chapter 7

You burst into you English classroom and immediately regretted it. Everyone had turned to look at you. 

“Please take a seat Mr. Egbert” 

That’s all you needed to hear before you darted off to your desk, accidently knocking into some of the other desks along the way only adding on to the already embarrassing amount of embarrassment you had inside of you. Your face was so red by the time you got to your desk your pretty sure it was about to explode. You quickly took a seat and dropped your bag, and then you realized you need your pencil and a notebook.

Too you the zipper on the bag was 100 times louder then it actually was, your brain just wasn’t functioning correctly at the moment so every rustle of paper, ever turn in your seat sounded like it was projected through the intercom in the front of the room. Finally you were situated and you could finally relax. 

“So John how are you on this fine morning”

“Hello, anyone home?”

“Aww come on man please tell me you did not call in sick”

“If I’m in school your in school”

“Come on John I’m taking up prime desk space, just answer me”

You smile down at the desk and don’t waste any time in replying, Dave was right, he took up about a fourth of the desk with his ramblings. 

“Don worry your pretty little head, I’m in school, and I was just running late”

“You think I’m pretty, how cute, too bad its not true”

You were about to write how could you even say that about yourself? When Dave’s handwriting appeared once again. 

“I’m pure sexiness, the sexiest beast to have ever walked on this goddamn earth”

You laughed, from what you knew about Dave, which granted was very little, he didn’t seem the type to belittle him self. 

“Okay Dave whatevs: P”

“So why were you late if I may ask?”

“I got coffee with my sister and her friend before school, we lost track of time”

“Damn, woman have that effect on you, once dated this girl and next thing I know we had been dating for a year, I freaked out and broke it off”

“That’s actually quite awful sounding Dave”

“Nah it was pretty chill her and I still hang out”

His answer just made more questions pop into your head, if you were correct, Dave was dead. How did the dead have any concept of time? Was his girlfriend still alive, maybe you could meet up with her and ask her more about Dave and why he was haunting a desk. You chewed on the eraser part of your pencil deep in these troubling thoughts. You thought it best to leave it be, you could never get the courage to even contact his girlfriend if you knew her name, you just weren’t that type of guy. You released the poor pencil from the harsh treatment of your teeth and decided on what question out of the millions swimming through your mind. 

“Dave do you know a Roxy?”

“Maybe, why?”

Your heartbeat sped up and you quickly erased all the writing to make a clean slate for this new conversation. 

“John, what about you?” Your head snaps up as your English teachers hand fall away from the board, he was asking you a vocab question you deducted from the previous notes written on the board. 

“Can you tell the class what redamancy means?”

You sighed and lifted your head up, “Redamancy, a word that sounds completely made up like most words that try to explain feelings that can only be explained in multiple words. It’s the act of loving the same person who loves you, a love that is fully returned”

Half the class stared at you like you had just told them the government had created a viral outbreak that had turned half the population into zombies and all of you needed to collect weapons and fight the system. The teacher cleared his throat and praised you for knowing the answer. He then quickly moved onto the next word that you doubted was even English. You glanced at your desk and remembered you needed to reply to Dave. 

“Just curious, I heard her mention a Dave and I was wondering if it was you”

The bell rang and your head snapped up to see everyone was quickly exiting the room. You started to freak out, this couldn’t be happening, no, no, no you needed an answer from him, you needed answers! All of this, the magical desk, how he’s writing to you, how your writing to him, you need answers. You’re about to cry as your teacher reminds you its time to leave. You take one last glance at the desk and realize you’ll have to wait yet another day for an answer. You took a deep breath and grabbed your bag, exiting the room and heading to your next period. 

Lunchtime isn’t too bad, Karkat sits with you for a few seconds before seeing his other friends and darting off before you could even get a single word into him. 

You couldn’t even say hello. 

The rest of the day drags on slowly and by the end of it your just ready to pass out on the couch and watch reruns of Bones. You soon realize, that your peaceful end of the day isn’t meant to be. Judging from the crowd surrounding you and your locker you realize that today is complete shit. 

“Come in late, don’t get any answers from Dave, Didn’t even get a hello in to Karkat and lunch plus my history teacher is getting on me for not turning in that American Revolution Essay and now this, fan-fucking-tastic” you mutter as you find yourself standing right in front of your locker.

“I don’t care what any of you think of me, I’m not stupid and I’m not opening this locker, just fucking leave me alone, I get it you don’t want me here well guess what, I don’t want to be here either but being jackasses about it isn’t going to do shit” is what you want to say to all of them but instead say it in your mind as you unlock your locker and open it. 

It was paint, not only was it paint that got all over your glasses and obscured your vision allowing you to see nothing at all once so ever you heard footsteps coming towards you and then felt the cascade of feathers and yes of course glitter. 

The laughter followed you all the way home.

You didn’t tell Jane about any of the shenanigans that had happened nor did you tell Jake or anyone for that matter, you kept it to yourself. You had made the grueling 40 minute walk home and taken a shower to rid yourself of all the awful wasted art supplies. 

Your tears washed away with the paint. 

You ended up having to pick the feathers out of the tub and throw them away but you had expected that, by the time you had finally been able to settle down on the couch and set up your area to binge watch Bones yet again you could hear the screen door open and then the actual door. 

“Oh good John your home! You didn’t call me to pick you up when school had ended so I just hoped you had made it home safely” Jan dropped her car keys in the bowl by the front door and made her way into the kitchen. 

“Yea I just felt like walking, it’s pretty nice out” You lied but you really had no intentions on ever speaking of todays incident to anyone, not Jane not Jake not Jade not even Dave. 

“It is nice out today isn’t it? Anyways I’m making gingerbread cookies would you like some?” You can hear the pans being pulled out and the fridge being opened. 

“Yes please” You reply and press play on the remote, losing yourself in the show because you wanted to be anywhere but the real world at the moment. 

You curl up in your blanket, shutting your eyes, just listening to the actors on the screen. You were so tired, tired of being picked on, tired of being laughed at, tired of being the easy target. Yet there was absolutely nothing you could do. You were a fool for thinking this time around things would be different, that you’d be able to start over as a more open and likeable person. You were even more of a fool for thinking Karkat and Gamzee were your friends and that being invited to that girls party would somehow magically make you fit in. 

You saw Karkat in the crowd before the paint; he didn’t do anything but stare at you eagerly like every other person in that fucking school. 

You grabbed the nearest pillow and shoved your face into it, attempting to muffle the sobs coming out of your throat and catch the tears that just would not stop flowing from your eyes. Why were you so pathetic, no one even liked you unless they were related to you and there by forced to like you. If Dave actually knew you he’d think you were a wimp not even worthy of his time. In fact he’d probably be the one to trip you in the hallway as you make your way from class to class.

The tears just wont ever stop.

You end up crying yourself into a fitful sleep and wake up to a slight dip in the couch. You feel rough calloused hands gently move you towards the edge of the couch and then pick you up so you’re then held bridal style in the person’s arms. 

“Bring him over here Dirk, poor lad must’ve dosed off watching that crime show of his” Jakes voice seems far away and you decide that whatever is happening is not worth the energy required to open your eyes. 

You remain half asleep in ‘Dirks’ arms until you hear a door open, most likely your bedroom door, and feel yourself gently lowered onto your bed. The covers are pulled over you and you can hear their hushed voices as they exit the room. You flip over on your stomach and grab your pillow clutching it tightly to your chest.

You drift off once again and only wake up when a very drunk Roxy stumbles in 6 hours later. 

The nest morning your distant from everything happening around you. You can tell Jane is trying to talk to you and you even feel Roxy poke you but your unresponsive to all of it. Eventually they gave up and drove you to school in silence. 

You entered the building and it felt you weren’t actually there, like you were just watching yourself from another perspective. You could feel the stares and hear the giggles that people made no attempt to hide. The only person you wanted right now was Dave, but you felt you didn’t even deserve that. If Dave actually knew you he’d hate you just like everyone else does and just like you do. 

You find yourself in front of your English room and you drop your bag. People just glance at you and continue walking. You drop to your knees and you just cry because this is so unfair, life is so fucking unfair. Why does everyone hate you?

You collect yourself and make your way to your locker, there was no point in coming to school today now that your only way to communicate with the one person you want to talk to was taken away. You feel the tears slip down your face as you think about the note on room 111. 

“Any classes held in room 111 will now take place in room 326 due to renovation” 

You make it to your locker only to find a picture taped on it, a picture of you from yesterday, covered in multiple colors of paint, glitter and feathers. You crumple it up and shove it in your bag. You don’t even bother opening your locker anymore you just run out, ignoring the looks and shouts as you run into people. You couldn’t help it your vision was blurry and your head hurt. Why did everyone hate you? What did you do wrong? You reach for your phone and press a number. 

“H-hey Jake… no, no I’m fine… c-can you just come pick me up, I don’t feel to good… yea I think so my head hurts and I feel sick… yea I can wait… thanks, bye” You hung up and crumpled against the brick wall of the school. 

You brought your knees to your chest and wrapped your arms around them before putting your forehead on your knees and breaking out into sobs. No one bothered you, no one stopped to ask if you were okay, you were invisible. 

“John mate, are you okay?” you felt Jake try to pull your arms down to your sides but you didn’t let him. Luckily for you he quickly took the hint and just scooped you and your bag up and carried you to the car and placed you into the passenger seat. 

“Jake I want to go home” You say sniffling slightly.

“I know mate we are almost there,” Jake said and you could feel the car speed up at his words. 

“No, not here, Washington, I want to go back to Washington” You look out the window not wanting to see the pitiful look that would without a doubt be on Jakes face. 

“I know John, but trust me you’ll be better off here, just watch” you cried silently this time, all the way to the house before thanking Jake quickly and running inside.

You threw your bag down in the hallway and rushed into your room. You’ve been so pathetic lately so fucking pathetic. Your only friend is some guy who writes to you on a desk and who you have never seen in person, hell you spent over 100$ on his fucking Christmas present and you know your never going to meet him because the most likely situation is he’s dead and haunting that one desk located in your English room 111. 

You did the only rational thing you could think of at the time. You called Jade. You knew she was in class right now but you didn’t care you needed someone, someone who wouldn’t call you crazy or suggest therapy like Jake or Jane might if you told them. You needed someone who understood you longer and better then anyone else ever had. You needed Jade. You needed her badly.

Jade had answered you instantly. 

“Heyo John! What’s up I haven’t heard from you in forever!” Her voice sounded just as bright and cheerful as you remember it being, you started sniffling again and Jades tone turned into one of concern immediately. 

“John what’s wrong, what happened, who hurt you? Do I need to come down and kick some pretentious LA ass, because I so will John just say the word.” You let out a soft chuckle and wipe a few tears away from your cheek. 

“No, no every thing is fine Jade don’t worry, I just miss home” You lied as you cleared your throat so you sounded a bit less pathetic. 

“Oh I got it… its okay John, everyone here misses you” You wanted to say like who, but you bit your tongue.

“What about those guys Karkat and Gamzee, weren’t you starting to hang out with them?” You hold back the tears as Karkats face from yesterday appeared in your mind. 

“They weren’t my type of people, I couldn’t really seem myself hanging out with them, plus I’m 95% sure Gamzee was high” You let out a small laugh and you can hear Jade laugh as well, you know it was only out of courtesy though.

“Well that’s okay I bet there’s tons of other people at the school you can become friends with.” You chewed on your bottom lip nervously as you thought about how you would go telling Jade.

“Well there is this one guy” Jade let out a long drawn out ‘oh’.

“Who is this ‘one guy’ John?” You didn’t miss the way Jade said the ‘one guy’.

“His name is Dave”

“Ooh a Dave, sexy name” You chuckle a bit, still very nervous. 

“Don’t tell them that his head is big enough as it is” You say that like you know Dave well and in person and it scares you from a moment because you didn’t fake the tone in which it came out in at all. 

“You sound like you and him hit it off pretty well, describe him for me so I can tease you about him more accurately.” Jade giggles a bit and you let out a small sigh.

“Well you see Jade, I’ve never seen him… well I’ve never seen him in person” Saying it out loud made you feel even more pathetic then before. 

“Oh so like you met him on tumblr or something?” Jade didn’t seem phased, and why should she one of her best friends is someone she met through tumblr. 

“No, I didn’t meet him through any social media nor do I communicate with him through social media.” You’re pretty sure you just broke the skin on your lip because that taste on your tongue was most deffinently blood. 

“So how did you meet him?” Jade sounded genuinely curious. 

“A desk”

“A desk?”

“Look I know it sounds crazy but on the first day of school I wrote a message on my desk out of boredom and the next day I came in he had answered it” Your heart was beating uncontrollably you were terrified at what Jade was going to think of you after this. 

“So like he’s in another class? Why don’t you just go look for him, your school can’t be that big”

“No, not like he’s in another class… Jade he writes to me in the middle of class, we have full blown conversations on a desk in my English classroom, and I’ve asked him what his class is and he said he was in English, exact same room number and everything… Jade I think he’s dead” You hold your breath waiting for Jade to process what you just told her. 

“Be honest with me John your not just pranking me right?”

“Jade come on you out of all people know I gave up pranking”

“So your telling me your talking to a boy named Dave, and he communicates to you through a Desk and the Desk just so happens to be some freaky magical desk that allows you both to write love notes to each other in the middle of class”

“Yes! I mean no we don’t send love notes Jade, he’s not gay” You say not really sure as to where Jade is taking this. 

“Do you know for a fact he isn’t gay John, did you ask him?” 

“Jade that doesn’t matter he’s a ghost, he’s dead Jade, even if he was gay I will never ever see this boy in my life because he no longer exists.” You feel yourself getting really defensive and you’re puzzled as to why. 

“But if this mysterious Dave guy was alive would you or would you not ask him out” You blush and any words that you were going to say got stuck in your throat. 

“Aha! I win I knew it you like this Dave guy!” Your face only turns redder.

“Jade he’s a ghost” You say wanting to desperately end this topic. 

“You don’t know that your just assuming that” Jade says like there was a hundred other options of what it could be, which there wasn’t because you have already attempted to figure out if it was any other option except a ghost.

“Anyways, I got to get back to class otherwise Mrs. Morrison will think I’m purposely ditching her boring class” You remember Mrs. Morrison she was a pretty strict math teacher that no one ever wanted to get. 

“You answered me right away Jade, were you ditching her class before this phone call?” You say teasingly, you knew Jade meaning you already knew the answer. 

“Of course I was have you been in her class John, have you really been in there? I’ve considered stabbing my eyes out with a pencil its that bad” You laugh at Jades dramatic statement. 

“Get to class Jade, I’ll talk to you later”

“Keep me updated on Dave!” Was all she said before hanging up on you.

You allow yourself to smile a little; talking to Jade really did help a lot. You fell back onto your bed and stared at the ceiling. You should probably grab your bag from the hallway before Jane comes home, knowing Jake he had already called her and told her what had happened. You frowned, at least your dad was still in the city getting all the paper work for the bakery signed and the shop set up. The last thing you needed was 50 cakes telling you everything was going to be great and that he was so proud of you. 

You sat up and stared out the door, you really didn’t want anyone to find that picture that had probably already fallen out of the side pockets of your bag. You stood up and dragged yourself to the door of your room. You slowly but surely made your way to front hallway where your bag sat discarded and thrown to the side, literally. You reached down and picked it up and just like you expected the picture of you had fallen out. You just picked that up as well and tried not to let it effect you. You made it into your room much faster then you had made it out of it and opened your closet door, throwing the picture in one of the many boxes that sat there unpacked and it was highly likely they would stay that way until you moved out. 

Shutting the closet door you decided that today was going to be all about you and doing what made you happy. For right now you needed to forget about this morning and yesterday, you even had to forget about Dave for the time being. You went to the keyboard that stood in the corner of your room and brought it out so you could lie down on your bed and play. It wasn’t an ideal position to play but you enjoyed this position for when you composed your own pieces. 

Once everything was in place and you had found a comfortable position you placed your fingers on the keys. You shut your eyes and let all your emotions flow through your fingers and into the keys of the piano. Every time you pressed down on a key a bigger picture took place in your mind. The music sounded somber at first and at one point it sounded extremely dark and painful. To anyone listening to the music they could tell the person playing was in a lot of pain. The song however took a turn towards the end, the notes weren’t so forceful, and instead they sounded soft and sweet, as if to install hope in the listener. The ending was very soft and very light, and again hopeful.

Your hands came off the keyboard completely and you hit the stop button to stop recording. You sit up slowly and let out a deep breath, you hadn’t played like that since before you had come out. You continued playing for a while but decided that none of the other songs you played felt quite as deep or personal as the first. You got up from the bed and moved the keyboard back into place before exiting the room to get something to eat. 

“So I see your playing again” You jumped at the sound of Jane’s voice. 

“Jesus Christ Jane when did you get home” You say reaching for the water she held out to you. 

“A few minutes ago, Jake called me after he dropped you off so I came here as soon as I could, is everything okay John?”

There it was, that exact question you really did not want to answer, you spent the last few hours trying to forget about it and keep it off your mind and it had actually worked, but now it was all coming back and you hated it. 

“Yea sorry I really honestly don’t know what happened, a guess a huge wave of nostalgia hit and it was too much, I called Jade though and she calmed me down, honestly I feel much better” Jane looked relieved. 

“I’m so glad to hear your okay, you really had me worried there, anyways Roxy is coming over to watch a few movies and bake cupcakes with me, your more the welcome to join us if you like!” You shake your head. 

“No I’m good thanks, I think I’m just going to watch Con Air”

“No problem, I’ll bring up any cupcakes Roxy doesn’t spike with vodka when we finish baking them.” Jane smiles and you can’t help but smile back. 

“Thanks I look forward to eating those non-vodka spiked cupcakes” You grab a bag of chips before heading back to your room. 

You turned your laptop on and noticed you had a notification waiting for you. You clicked on it but all it sent you was a link. You clicked on the link not even thinking twice. You waited as the page loaded and then gasped. You put a hand over your mouth to muffle your sobs. Someone had made a Facebook page, dedicated to you and on it was everything you spent all day trying to block out. The paint prank, the glitter bomb, they even had a picture of you breaking down in front of the English room and one of you outside sobbing into your knees. There were hundreds of videos and pictures, some were even from the time at that party where you ate a bunch of peanuts and had a serious allergic reaction. You felt sick. 

Against your better judgment you continued to scroll down the page, the videos played automatically and you could feel the tears fall on your hand that was still covering your mouth. You saw Terezi and Vriska dumping the glitter and feathers on you. You could see the selfies people took with you behind them covered from head to toe in art supplies. That wasn’t the worst of it though, you scrolled down a bit more and saw a seemingly innocent picture of you at your desk. You read the comment someone had posted below it. 

“Faggot doesn’t even have any friends so he has to send notes to himself”

The hand left his mouth and he let out a choked sob. They had caught John in pure happiness, with a huge smile on his face but that’s not the only thing they had captured, they had captured him and Dave’s messages to each other. John hit the comments box to see what other people had said. 

“lol what a loser”

“that’s fucking pathetic”

“I’m in his English class and every single day he’s writing on his desk”

“What a weirdo”

Tears obscured your vision and you quickly shut your laptop shoving it under the pillow. You screwed your eyes up tightly just wanting the tears to stop and just wanting this all to be a bad dream. What kind of person makes a Facebook page purely to make fun of someone? You feel your pillow begin to get wet and sit up quickly to flip it over. You just want to go to bed, at least in your sleep you know that you can wake up from any nightmares that your brain conjures up. Right now though you weren’t asleep and this nightmare was a little too real for you to handle.

2 hours later Jane and Roxy came in with cupcakes only to find you fast asleep and crying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So i just wrote and it ended up being sad, I have no idea why thats just how it worked out, I dont plan on this story being sad but the next few chapters will most likely be just that, I'll change the tags if something potentially upsetting does appear but currently I doubt it. 
> 
> (what a fucking liar i was back then lol you dont even know m8, what a trip this all is (edited 12-30-15))


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow this chapter took me back to when I wrote fics on wattpad and all of them were heavily based on songs I was listening to at the moment, this chapter is like one of those fics. Anyways wow, this is progressing far, and I'm enjoying writing this and that never happens! Enjoy this chapter!

“So John, please tell me if I overstep any boundaries, Janey is always telling me I need a filter between my mouth and my brain, but what were you dreaming of last night that made your pillow look like it just got back from a trip to the pool” Jane lightly slapped Roxy on the shoulder. 

“Roxy! That wasn’t gentle at all, John I’m sorry but honestly, should we be worried about you? Do you want me to get Dad looking for a new therapist down here?” Your eyes widened in terror. 

“No! No! honestly no oh god no, Jane, you know how much I disliked therapy, no, I’m fine really, I just had a massive headache that came out of no where, honestly its fine Jane” Jane didn’t looked convinced but let it go. 

“Yay! Now Janey and I can take you off suicide watch ain’t that right Janey!” Jane slapped Roxy once again, not as lightly as before.

You just opened the front door and walked out, getting in the backseat of the car waiting for Roxy and Jane to catch up. While you waited for them you decided to pass the time by looking at your phone. The only notifications were the ones you had set up this morning, whenever someone posted on that facebook page you were notified. You knew you shouldn’t, you knew it was unhealthy especially since you couldn’t even look at the page without feeling sick to your stomach. You did it anyways though and without fail every 5 minutes since you set up the notifications, your phone vibrated, doing a very good job at notifying you when someone had added to your personalized hate page. 

Your stomach dropped at the thought of entering that school again. Instead of thinking too hard about it you decided losing yourself in your music would be a much a better solution. You fished your headphones out of your bag and plugged them in before scrolling through your playlists, deciding on your most recent one you hit play and Mayday Parade starts blasting in your ears. You looked out your window and saw Jane and Roxy were finally leaving the house. Jane said something to you as she entered the car but you just nodded and she didn’t say another word. Once both her and Roxy had their seatbelts on they left the driveway and took the now too familiar route to your high school.

Once the school was in view you sunk lower into your seat and focused on not letting the fear and sadness show on your face. By the time Jane pulled into the parking lot you had not listened to enough motivational music to get you to the front door, Fall Out Boy however did start playing and was a huge reason why you even opened the car door. You said goodbye to Jane and Roxy. 

It wasn’t until they left your sight did you turn around to face the school. The brick building taunting you, daring you to enter. Taking a deep breath you started heading towards the door, not missing the faint buzz in your pocket. Once you were at the doors it only took a slight push before your destiny was sealed. There was no turning back now. 

To say people were discreet about their stares and laughs would be the biggest lie you would have ever told. They were shameless in their looks and laughters, even in most of their comments. Your phone started buzzing non-stop as you walked through the hallways. 

“Do you ever feel like breaking down?  
Do you ever feel out of place,  
Like somehow you just don't belong”

You kept your head down, wanting them too all stop to be invisible.

“And no one understands you?  
Do you ever wanna run away?  
Do you lock yourself in your room  
With the radio on turned up so loud  
That no one hears you're screaming?”

You wish you could block it all out, you wish you knew why everyone seemed to hate you. 

“No, you don't know what it's like  
When nothing feels all right  
You don't know what it's like  
To be like me”

You turn the corner and a shiver runs down your spine as you see the group of students ahead of you. How come at this moment your school seemed so much bigger then it actually was.   
“To be hurt  
To feel lost  
To be left out in the dark  
To be kicked when you're down”

You walked towards the group trying to move far to the right to avoid any contact with any of them. 

“To feel like you've been pushed around  
To be on the edge of breaking down  
And no one's there to save you”

The gap between the wall and the other kids was getting smaller and smaller each step you took towards your only viable path. 

“No, you don't know what it's like  
Welcome to my life”

You quickly tried to move unnoticed by the group which you knew was an impossible task before you even set out on it. You accidently bumped into one of the guys standing there and you really, really hate your life.

“Do you wanna be somebody else?”

You headphones were ripped off as you felt yourself lifted up and pushed against the solid surface of the wall behind you. The only reaction you gave him besides a tired look was a small oof as your breath momentarily left your body. You look up at the guy not recognizing him from any of your classes. 

“Where the fuck do you think your going faggot?” you tried to form an answer but with his hand at your neck practically cutting off your air supply it made it extremely difficult so instead just a bunch of grunts and non-coherent phrases exited your mouth. 

“What did you say to me you fucking gay piece of shit” Your eyes widened and your hands clawed at his hand on your throat, he was going to kill you, you were going to die right here and right now.

Right before you were about to give up he shoved you to the floor, kicking your stomach with full force. You curled up on yourself, coughing and wheezing as you really tried to control the tears. Once the guy left so did the crowd leaving you alone in front of the main entrance curled up in a ball. You rolled yourself over onto your back and took deep breaths. When you decided you really needed to try and sit up you took a few deep breaths then with shaky arms attempted to push yourself up. 

“Ugh” You groaned in pain for a long moment, your back now held up by the cold unforgiving wall.

It took a few minutes but at last you finally stood up. You took a few shaky steps, wondering if you were mentally prepared for the rest of the day. Lifting your shirt up and seeing the redness that would without a doubt result in a bruise you decided you were not at all prepared. You slowly made your way to the nurses office who when they saw you immediately brought you into one of the rooms with the hospital beds in it. 

“Oh my gosh what happened to you” All you could do was cough up a bit of blood. 

“You know what just lie down, I do need your name sweety” She smiled kindly down at you.

“J-John Egbert, sorry, also d-don’t get administration or, or whatever you get I’ll explain” You took a deep shaky breath that hurt like hell, “I’ll explain everything after” The nurse looks conflicted but just nods, leaving the room for a few seconds to grab some paperwork.

“Okay Mr. Egbert, I’m going to need you to take your shirt off so I can asses all the damage” It isn’t until you take your shirt off does she notice the faint purple starting to pop up around your neck.

“Oh my god” She says more to herself then you.

“This next part will hurt” That’s all the warning you get before she starts systematically poking at both sides of your chest.

“Ah, ouch, ouch, ow” You winced as she got lower on your chest.

When she had finished tears were rising to the surface in your eyes. She gave you a sad look when you opened your eyes.

“You have 2 fractured ribs, your bruising is extremely bad, I can give you something for that that, and other than that your just really badly beaten up, what happened here John?” You chewed on your bottom lip nervously.

“I was walking to school and got hit by a car, the person felt bad and dropped me off here apologizing profusely before driving off” It was obvious she called your bluff but she didn’t say anything.

“Okay, do you want me to call your parents to come pick you up” You shook your head, the last thing you needed was for Jane and Jake to worry about you even more then they already were. 

“No, I missed yesterday, I can’t miss today” She looked at you dissaprovingly but nodded. 

“These are for the pain, you’ll take 2 right now, 2 right before lunch and then 2 before you go home for the day. This is an icepack, I want you to stay here until 3rd period so your going to keep this on your chest until I tell you to take it off. Now you obviously are experiencing pain when you breathe, I can see it in your face, that’s normal for fractured ribs don’t panic I checked it out they aren’t poking any vital organs your completely fine. So just try not to panic and if you feel like your going to pass out, do it, it’s better you pass out here then out in the hallway. Also if you do feel like your going to be sick call for me because you will not make it if you try and roll over and reach a trashcan, trust me on that one, I’ll be just on the other side of the door if you need me.” You don’t even get to say anything gin response before the door shuts behind her. 

You close your eyes and reach for your phone, wincing as your chest constricts in the most painful way. The notifications are off the charts. 1086 notifications all but 1 were from facebook. You decide to look at the one that isn’t going to make you cry and breakdown first. It’s a text from Jade, it was just a simple link and you clicked on it without thinking, it led you too a video of a cat playing the piano, you started to laugh but stopped immediately because of the immense pain it caused. You typed a quick ‘lol’ in response before clicking on the facebook symbol without a second thought. The screen loads and you try to remain as stoic as possible. 20 videos of your attack where recorded from all possible angles. Over 300 photos of the event had been uploaded, each one more sickening then the rest. 

“Eridan did what all of us wanted to do, fucking proud of you dude” 

So that was the name of your assailant, Eridan. A pompous name for a pompous dick. ‘A pompous dick who kicked your ass’ you thought to yourself as you scrolled through the now thousands of posts. Sighing you shut your phone off, it really only brought you more pain, and you were in enough pain as it was. You grabbed your headphones, which luckily hadn’t been broken when they were forcefully ripped off. 

Your playlist was still going and you were actually satisfied with listening to one of the more upbeat songs on the list. You closed your eyes and bounced your head lightly with the music, “first one up was up was a preachers son last one down was an English man” you sang quietly as you tried to block out the real world. Once again you preferred the imaginary worlds in your mind over the one on the other side of your eyelids. 

You didn’t even notice when the door had opened and the nurse had come in. You did notice when she took the icepack off and you flinched causing the pain in your chest to flame up badly once again. 

“Shit” you say under your breath, the nurse just chuckles and takes the icepack with her as she exits the room. 

After a few more songs you feel yourself drifting off. You allow yourself the small comfort of turning slightly on your side, which helps ease the uneasy feeling that was starting to settle in your stomach. Closing your eyes you let sleep pull you in fully.

“Holy fucking shit” You scream as you felt something colder then the artic rest on your chest. 

“Sorry John, but this is it, 20 minutes and I’m sending you back to class” She patted you on the shoulder and left the room again, leaving you alone and hissing in pain. 

The 20 minutes weren’t as bad as you thought they would be and way too soon the kind nurse was shoving you out of the office with a pass in your hand and a bottle of pills and icepack in the other. When you made it into the empty hallway you shoved the pills in your bag and headed to your 3rd period class. As you stood in front of the door to your classroom you realized no amount of mentally preparing yourself will prepare you for the full day ahead of you. 

“No turning back now” You whispered to yourself as you placed your hand on the doorknob before twisting it open.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING SELF-HARM 
> 
> it's only like 3 sentences at the end but it's still there so if you rather not read it don't make yourself, it will be mentioned slightly in later chapters but never will I write a scene with him cutting again

It had been 36 days exactly since Eridan Ampora attacked you in the hallway, 37 days since you’ve spoken to Dave. Ever since then school had been pretty much hell, not that it wasn’t before but now that you couldn’t even get in contact with him you had no one not even Jade. Jade had gotten a new boyfriend recently and ever since then you had taken the backseat in her life. You understood though and held no bitter thoughts about her, you did however not approve of her boyfriend.

Your days had been pretty dull, Jake had gone off in the start of October and Jane was back at school. Now it was just you and your dad in the house. You did have to admit that you missed Roxy’s amusing antics around the house, Jane’s cooking and Jakes rambunctious stories. Now it was just you alone in your room composing songs and doing homework, trying hard to avoid your father and the kitchen, which was the eye of the storm for his baked goods frenzy. 

Too say his dad’s business was booming would be a completely true statement. His father was constantly and business meetings during the day and when he got home he’d work on new recipes before going in on the weekends to show them to the bakers and even bake in the shop himself. You loved seeing the smile on your dads face, though the cake that came at your face after the smile though wasn’t something you loved. 

Now it was the day before Halloween and you were pretty psyched. Though you weren’t going to any parties, nor were you going trick-or-treating since you were way too old, but you loved the holiday, you loved the decorations, you loved the pumpkins, and you just loved the whole aesthetic of Halloween and October in general. You especially liked the pumpkin cake Callie gave you every time you went to her café, which was often. Callie was pretty cool and you ended up talking to her quite a bit, you learned about her asshole of a brother who made himself at home in her apartment after showing up unexpectedly on Columbus Day. From her mood earlier this morning you know for a fact he hasn’t left yet. 

Halloween was coming up and despite the pranks getting more frequent at school and your weekly trips to the Halloween store and Michaels afterwards your energy had only faded a bit. Your phone buzzed beside you as you worked on a haunting piece on your keyboard. You knew what it was and you knew you should ignore it, that’s what Jade had told you to do and you’ve come to learn Jade was pretty smart with this stuff. 

The buzzing didn’t stop like it usually did, and it was a different pattern of buzzing as well. That piqued your interest, cautiously leaning over your keyboard you grabbed your phone off your bed. You were correct, this wasn’t a facebook notification, this was a text message, a text message from a number you’ve never seen before. Curiosity getting the best of you, you unlocked your phone and read the full message. The small smile on your face fell as you realized who it was from, Karkat. 

“Hey gay boy Terezi want’s you at her Halloween party tomorrow, I’ll pick you up at 7, wear a costume”

You ignored the text, you knew about the party, you also knew what would happen if you showed up, and you were not about to willingly subject yourself to that type of abuse. Instead you were going to have a quiet night in, eat all the candy you can buy, stream scary movies in your now fully decorated Halloween themed room. You were content with that plan and that was going to be the plan you stuck with. You also had your Ghostbusters outfit hung out to get the whole Halloween experience. 

Before putting your phone down you checked facebook, just more videos of the pumpkin helmet prank, it had taken 3 showers to get all the goop out of your hair. You no longer became overly sensitive and upset about all the rude comments and all the pranks that they played on you, in truth you’ve become numb to it all. To everything really, the only time you ever showed any real emotion was talking to Jade or thinking of… Dave. 

You groaned and fell back into your pillow. You really hated thinking about Dave because thinking about him makes you sad because you really loved talking too him and you haven’t done that in over a month. You talked to Jade about holding a séance on Halloween since the whole spooky ghost vibe was a trademark of the holiday. She said ghosts didn’t exist and that there was some other explanation on how Dave and I had communicated through a desk. You again are going to listen to her advice and not just because you watched Ouija last night. 

You don’t know what it was but for the month you talked with Dave you grew really fond to him. The way he portrayed himself, the way his words gave off an air of confidence around him and how he never took much seriously, everything about Dave seemed dorky and playful, all wrapped up in an air of false seriousness. It was charming, you wish you had knew Dave when he was alive (You don’t believe Jade, ghosts exist, the evidence is out there and the government is just sweeping it all under the rug), you bet you and he would be really close friends, in fact he’d probably join you in your Halloween scary movie marathon. 

On second thought he probably would’ve been one of the cool kids if he was here, he would’ve been the one to stick the pumpkin on your head today, he wouldn’t even give you a second thought unless it was another heartless prank on you. You flipped over onto your stomach and screamed into your pillow. Why was your life so frustrating? 

“John, I baked some pumpkin seeds if you would like some, just come down stairs” Your dad said quickly appearing in the doorway. 

“Yeah, okay, thanks dad” You say sitting up, running a hand through your hair.

“Anything for you son” You sigh as he shuts your door. 

Moving your keyboard back to where it belongs and picking up the previously discarded phone you made your way down to the kitchen. You grabbed the offered plate and thanked your father before escaping back to your room. Pulling out your laptop you opened up Netflix, playing Parks and Rec, you had to save the scary movies for tomorrow after all. You sat quietly munching on your pumpkin seeds when you heard your doorbell ring, your father however went to go answer the door and you didn’t give it a second thought, until another knock was on your door, and apparently that knock was only a courtesy knock because the person behind the door opened it up not even giving you a chance to say ‘come in’. 

You stared open mouthed as Karkat Vantas walked through your doorway, not hiding his surprise at the Halloween decorations placed around the room. 

“I swear to god, you getting weirder every fucking day” Anger started boiling up inside of you. 

“What are you doing here” You snap back at him, wanting him to get the fuck out. 

“You never answered my text, so I’m here to take you costume shopping” He states it like it was common knowledge. 

“No, I’m not going, I don’t want to, I have plans for Halloween already you informed me too late” Karkat scoffed in disbelief adding to your anger. 

“Yea right, what were your plans? Stay home alone streaming Netflix in this creepy ass room” Okay, that’s it your done.

“Get the hell out of my house” You say quietly trying not to alert your dad of any trouble. 

“Not unless it’s to take you to the costume shop” Karkat goes to sit next to you but you stand up and stop him. 

“No, I’m sick of this, get out of my fucking room, get out of my fucking house, and while your at it get out of my fucking life, I don’t need you or any of your other friends bullshit I’ve had enough I’m done, get out before I start screaming.” Karkat looks shocked for a second, mainly because you haven’t said more then 2 words to someone in the past month, also because you have never stood up for yourself here or even in Washington.

“You cant be serious—“

“One” You say taking in a deep breath, his eyes widens slightly.

“John this is insane, just—“  
“Two” You say warning him with just your tone. 

He looks like he’s about to flee, good that’s what you want. 

“One” That’s the only warning you give him, you do wait for a few seconds and are content to see him leaving quickly. 

You’re completely satisfied when you hear the front door shut. You smile at yourself before hitting play on Parks and Rec. You’re actually really proud of yourself, that’s the first time in your life you’ve stood up for yourself. You quickly went to call Jade. 

“Hey Jade!” You say excitedly as you hear the familiar click that lets you know she answered. 

“Um, who is this?” An unknown voice says over the phone. 

“Uh, this is John, John Egbert, Jade’s friend” You begin to worry about Jade and wonder if this is her murderer, oh god is Jade dead? Your imagination starts to run wild at the thoughts. 

“Don’t call Jade ever again, this is her boyfriend and if I find out you’ve been communicating with her I will beat your ass into a pulp” Your eyes widen, this is really bad. 

“Wait! Wait no! Please! I just need to talk to—“ The boyfriend hangs up on you. 

“Jade” you finish, all your previous happiness completely diminished. 

The next day didn’t go as you hoped. What was supposed to be a fun candy filled movie night decked out in your ghostbusters uniform turned out to be you binge eating candy going over the conversation with Jades boyfriend and the realization you probably wont be able to contact her for months unless she finds out what he said and breaks up with him, well you hope she’d break up with him if she found out. You like to believe your friendship meant something to her. 

You went to sleep on Halloween feeling even more broken and alone then you thought would’ve been possible. All the feelings you confided in Jade about all the suppressed emotions that long conversations with Jade helped make them seem insignificant. Now however you didn’t have Jade help keep them at bay so all the unwanted emotions flooded you. All the pain every single prank gave you, all the humiliation and grief the facebook page held, the complete loneliness of your life here. At this point your willing to believe Dave doesn’t actually exist, even as a ghost. You probably just made him up in your head to make your life seem less lonely. You laugh bitterly at the thought. Only you would dream up your version of a perfect guy and create fake conversations with him, on a desk non-the less. 

“… in this creepy ass room”

You stared at the decorations around you and felt tears prick at the side of your eyes. You loved it, it took all month to make some of the decorations and collect all of them to place perfectly inside your bedroom. Why was it weird? Some people decorate their whole house with this type of stuff, yet you were the weird one? That just wasn’t fair! None of this was fair at all!

You threw a stuffed pumpkin at your window in furry, before disappearing into the bathroom. You stared at yourself in the mirror hating what you saw, your whole face was red and your eyes were puffy. Your hair wouldn’t stay in place and you looked scrawny and weak. You could feel the tears surface again. You had to look away. 

This was supposed to be a new start, a clean slate, none of your past was supposed to follow you too LA yet not only had it followed you here, the people here added to it and made it worse. Reaching into a drawer you pulled out an all too familiar blade. You looked at yourself in the mirror and drew in a final shaky breath before lifting it to your skin. 

To say you didn’t miss the sting would be a lie, this was an addiction, a dangerous addiction you had just fallen into again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will update again very soon ( probably an hour) I do not want to leave this at this, its way too sad


	10. RAPE WARNING YOU CAN SKIP

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS NOT AN IMPORTANT CHAPTER LET ME STRESS THIS, YOU CAN CONTINUE THIS STORY WITHOUT READING THIS CHAPTER SKIP IT PLEASe IF YOU FEEL YOUR TRIGGERED BY THIS DONT FEEL ASHAMED TO SKIP THIS INFACT I ENCOURAGE YOU TO SKIP THIS AND GO TO THE NEXT ONE

No one noticed your change of apparel on Monday and no one bothered asking why you had a long sleeve shirt on when it was 80 degrees out. You guess that’s a good thing, especially since your dad didn’t even bat an eye when he said goodbye this morning. The last thing you needed was his lecture, which the second time around would be 2x as long. 

In fact everyone was unnaturally quiet around you today, for a second you thought the scars were visible but you knew they weren’t. The whispers were still there but they were actual whispers this time, whispers that weren’t obnoxiously loud. You walked forward, feeling awkward in the silence that followed you. You were about to stop to ask this quiet girl in your math class what was going on but when you briefly made eye contact with her she darted the other direction, which puzzled you because out of everyone she was the one person who made you feel like an actual person. 

Putting it out of your mind you walked to your locker which when you got there made the unusual behavior of everyone really clear. Eridan, Terezi, Vriska, Karkat, Gamzee and Equius all stood around your locker. Everyone in 10 feet radius had cleared the area when you entered the hallway. 

“So John you think your better then us now?” Eridan said stepping up towards you, making you look up at him. 

“N-no? I’m sorry but can you explain to me what all this is about?” You try to seem less anxious then you actually are but its clear your failing badly. 

“TZ’s party on Saturday” Vriska said pushing Eridan out of the way so she could get in your face.

“Oh, that” you say not really knowing what to say.

“Yea, that” Vriska spat in your face.

“You don’t just get invited personally to one of her parties and not show up, its rude” Equius speaks up but makes no efforts to move. 

“Why didn’t you go to her party?” Vriska said pulling a Terezi who was currently faking hurt into her side. 

“Like I told Karkat, I had plans, a-and there was a few family problems that happened, I couldn’t go anywhere” You rush out fast, too fast.

“Are you saying we aren’t worth your time” Eridan stepped forward and you stepped back, bumping into a hard well built chest, you freaked out not even realizing Equius had moved behind you. 

“N-no! I’m saying I was too busy—“ That was clearly the wrong way to explain it.

“Too busy? Too busy? Can you believe that Vriska, he was too busy” Eridan laughed bitterly and turned back to you. “Were you too busy sucking dick”?

Your brain sent messages to your arms before you even had time to process what was happening. Equius sure as hell processed it because he grabbed them immediately and pinned them behind your back. Everyone but Karkat and Gamzee seemed to be amused at your antics. 

“I think he was going to hit you Eridan, that little cocksucker grew some balls just like Karkles had said” You flinched at the name and looked at the ground. 

“I think he was,” Eridan pulled your head up so you had too look at him, “Guess we just have to find another way to show him his place, I guess pranks are just too tame for him now, he’s grown up and so should we”

You knew what was coming, you wanted pranks, pranks you could deal with, pranks weren’t punches, and pranks weren’t being beaten up. You had to get out of this, Eridan saw the panic in your eyes and so did Vriska, seeing as they were the closest too you. They just smiled darkly as the bell rang and Equius dragged you down the hall and into the boy’s locker room. 

When the door closed and Gamzee locked it you knew you were fucked. The first thing that happened wasn’t a huge surprise. You were thrown into the lockers, which threw you off balance, giving Eridan the perfect chance to punch you in the face. 

“Terezi had everything set up for you, the pumpkin, the candles, the spiders even the fake blood you were going to be the main event at the party” Eridan landed a blow on the right side of your jaw. 

“Why’d you have to ruin the party John? Don’t you want to have any friends?” Vriska’s hand trailed down the cheek Eridan had just punched. It was starting to swell and you flinched as she pressed even harder at the most painful part. 

“I think you have to repay us John, for not making the party as big of a hit as it was going to be” Her hand trailed down to your dick and your eyes widened in fear, she saw and gave you a vicious smirk before removing her hand and bringing her knee up swiftly to where it was. 

You gasped in pain; she had just kneed you in the balls. You crumpled to the ground, barely registering the kick aimed at your ribs. You shut your eyes tightly and gasped out apology after apology, practically sobbing. 

“I don’t think he sounds motherfucking sorry at all” Gamzee said grabbing a bat.  
Your eyes widened in horror and you could see the other people in the room were a little worried as well. 

“No Gamzee put that down, we don’t want to kill him” Karkat was the one who rushed forward and dragged Gamzee, along with the bat, away from you, much to your relief. 

Equius picked you up off the ground and held you against his chest with his hand holding your arms together. 

“Get him on the ground Equius” Terezi says sitting on one of the benches. 

You feeling a sharp kick to the back of your knee’s that makes you land with a painful thud that resonates off the concrete floor and walls. You hiss at the pain but don’t dare try to get back up. You feel a fist connect with your jaw again and feel multiple feet attacking you at every angle. 

The tears sting your face as not only are you on your knees at their mercy but Equius is pulling on your sleeves which are rubbing against your scars, irritating your skin and even opening most of the cuts. The last thing you needed was another reason for them to make fun of you and beat you up.

“Karkles, TZ, get out” Vriskas voice broke through your thoughts and you looked up at a shocked Karkat.

“What? Why” Karkat demanded but TZ just dragged him out with her, giving a silent nod to Vriska. 

“Now that they’re gone, you are all ours, Eridan, I’m leaving you to this part, I’ll watch for now.” You started to panic, struggling to get free making your arms burn even more. 

“Now, Now we can’t have that” Full realization of what was about to happen to you hit you, this wasn’t going to end well, you started to scream. 

“No! No! Help! Oh my god, please no no, anything please just let me go, help me!” You screamed before fingers were shoved into you mouth. 

“Shut the hell up you fucking faggot, your going to love this” You watched in horror as Eridan made a show of unzipping his pants and pulling his boxers down to reveal his cock.

“Use teeth I’ll have Gamzee here fuck your eye socket.” You heard Vriska’s laughter in the background. 

You couldn’t get a word out before a cock was shoved into your mouth, you wanted to bite down on it, spit it out, but you couldn’t you could only hang limply there as you were used like a fucking whore. Eridan supplied you with a bunch of talk convincing you this is what you wanted, that you were such a whore and that you were just begging for it with your eyes. 

“Your mouth say’s no but your eyes say yes, of course now your mouth is full of my cock just like you fucking love it you faggot”

You just sobbed, your jaw aching from being held open for so long. 

“Swallow it you whore” That’s all the warning you got before musky salty streams of cum were deposited into your mouth. 

Your jaw was held shut into you swallowed gagging at the taste, wanting to throw up. For a second Equius allowed you to go slack, your head tilted downwards and your tears pooled on the locker room floor below you. For a brief moment you allowed yourself to believe all of this was over. 

“My turn” Gamzee said giving you a predatory smile as he gave no warning before shoving his cock in your mouth. 

You tried to cry out, you tried to speak but the vibrations only added to the pleasure you were apparently giving to Gamzee. You just sobbed uncontrollably hoping someone would come in and stop this, save you, send them to jail, you were so tired of suffering, you just wanted to live normally. 

“You really are a cock loving fag” Gamzee chuckled darkly as he thrust in particularly hard causing you to gag around his cock, your tears were added to your saliva on his cock. 

When he finished he also made you swallow, after that Gamzee zipped up his pants and Equius let you crumple down onto the floor. You immediately curled up into a ball and sobbed. You had just been raped. This wasn’t even on the list of things you thought they might do, beat you up sure, humiliate you, check, but rape? You never thought it would come down to that.

It took 3 hours before you left the locker room to get to the bathroom. You washed out your mouth, but it didn’t help, you were still so dirty, nothing could get rid of this feeling. You don’t know where your bag ended up but you decided not to go looking for it. Your phone was in your pocket and that’s all you really needed. Taking it out you called the only person you could think of at the moment. 

“Callie, can you come pick me up from school… ah no, no, everything is not alright, can you just, please come pick me up” 5 minutes later Callie texted you she was out front and you left the safety of the bathroom and eventually the not so safeness of the school. 

Callie took one look at you before wrapping you up in the most needed hug of your life.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Callie has John talk to her about the incident and encourages John to pursue his rapists legally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So theres not anything bad in this chapter just Callie being super supportive and trying to help John as best she can, Rape is mentioned but just that nothing graphic.

Callie had brought you inside her café and made you change clothes immediately. Granted they were a work uniform but they were better then the clothes you were previously in covered in blood. Callie made sure to get you lots of fluffy blankets and plush pillows before leaving to go make you some passionflower tea. It wasn’t until you had taken a sip of the tea did Callie start asking the questions you knew were coming. 

“What happened John?” She said sitting back looking at you like a concerned parent.

“I was raped” You said shaking slightly despite all the warmth that surrounded you. That made Callie freak out.

“John, rape accusations aren’t taken lightly, tell me exactly what happened today.” This time you weren’t going to hold back, you trusted Callie and she was the only person not related to you whom you trusted. 

“Well I walked too my locker and six kids were there, I was attacked and restrained and punched a few times before I was dragged into the locker room, they sent two of them out for reason I don’t know and don’t want to know. All I know is that one-second they’re beating me up and the next I-I—“ You choked out a sob and Callie moved to wrap you in her arms. 

“There, there, I know you don’t want to relive it love, but just say this, where did they do it” You pointed to your mouth and held up two fingers not wanting to say it. 

Callie just wrapped you up in her arms tighter.

“This is all my fault,” You whisper as tears once again flow recklessly down your face, “I-I asked for it, I-I made it happen, I mean I said no but if I really didn’t want it they wouldn’t have done it”

“No” Callie said firmly pulling you back and making you look her dead in the eye, “None of this is your fault John, none of it, you were raped, you said no, you didn’t give your consent. These people will go to jail, and they will be punished for what they did to you okay” Your eyes widened in horror.

“No, you can’t I don’t want to go to the police, t-they wont believe me, those 6, they’ll make up lies, they’ll twist it around, they’re going to make this my fault, this is all my fault, all my fault, all my fault” You broke down into sobs again and Callie just held you trying to calm you down. 

“Okay love, we’ll do this your way, even though I don’t like it, we’ll do this your way, okay John? Your okay, I’m here for you” She rubbed your back and shushed you, trying to stop your broken up sobs. 

“Hey, I’m going to go make a call, I know someone who can help, fair warning Roxy might be paying us a visit.” You didn’t know how to respond, you didn’t know if you wanted to.

Callie was right, legal action was the most logical step too all of this. It felt wrong what had happened, you felt wrong, you felt dirty, unclean, like all that was you had been ripped away. You even felt like you didn’t deserve the help Callie was offering you. You watched her step outside as she made the call, you watched her pace back and forth, she seemed to be angry and agitated and overly upset. It’s your fault she’s upset, all this is your fault. You shouldn’t have told her, she has enough on her mind because of her useless brother, your just adding to the stress in her life. Before you can get out of your bundle of blankets Callie is back inside and sitting across from you. 

“Roxy and Rose will be here in 3 hours, your dad thinks you got sick and I took you here until you felt better so don’t worry about him, I do strongly suggest you tell him as soon as you can though because he loves you and will be a huge help in the legal department.”

“Rose?” You ask, not knowing anyone by that name. 

“Yes, Rose Lalonde she’s a few years older then you and is currently a psychologist up in New York” Your eyes widen in panic.

“No, no, absolutely not I do not want a therapist, I had one they are completely useless they just sit there and doodle on their notebooks and make you feel uncomfortable tell Roxy and Rose not to bother coming because I don’t want them here” You started rambling and getting even more jumpy and paranoid. 

“John I promise you Rose is the best out there, I do have to admit she will push you out of your comfort zone and get inside of your head but she will actually help you, and if the police are going to take this seriously we need Rose and her mother who I can’t seem to get a hold of.” Callie sounded really annoyed about that last bit, you were still not happy about Rose but you know Callie was right, rape is a he said she said type of situation and with so little evidence and you never wanting to speak of it again all your attackers will get away free of charge and will without a doubt try again. 

“Why do we need Rose’s mother?” You ask taking a big sip of your now lukewarm tea. 

“She’s a lawyer, a damn good one at that, she’ll fight to her last breath the get justice for you in court if we make it that far which we will you mark my word.” Callie once again disappears but not outside this time. 

You don’t actually know where she went but you decide its best to stay put. You pull your phone out of your pocket and unlock it, only too find it loading your Facebook page. It loads and you throw up on to the floor, that’s all you can do you feel sick to your stomach. Callie comes rushing up to you and moves you into the bathroom saying gentle phrases to calm you down and get you breathing properly again. She leaves for a few minutes most likely to clean up the puke by the couch. You throw up again at the thought, you didn’t even see any phones out at the time, then again you weren’t focused on anything but wanting to leave at the time and crying. 

When you finish Callie holds up to you a glass of water and a toothbrush with toothpaste. She leaves you alone as you work on rinsing out your mouth. You glance up in the mirror and look back down, hating what you saw, you were so pathetic. You left the toothbrush and toothpaste on the sink but brought the glass with you taking little sips of it as you sat on a bar stool watching Callie pour a new cup of tea into a clean mug. 

“There drink this is should help settle your stomach” You reached for the mug, the drink tasted minty, that or it was just your toothpaste still in your mouth giving off the minty flavor. 

“I’m sorry” You whisper not wanting to look her in the eyes, she’s done so much for you and you only threw up in her face.

“No it’s not your fault at all but John, I did look at you phone and as much as I hate to say it, that’s exactly what we needed to form a solid case against these kids.” You put your head on the counter, not wanting to look at her out of shame. 

“John none of what happened is your fault, remember that, none of it at all, nothing you did caused this, nothing at all.” Callie came around the counter and pulled you into a big hug. 

“Here lets go watch some Nic Cage movies, I know how you love him.” You give the weakest smile ever at Callie as you let her drag you too the couch, pulling you into her as she turns the TV in the room on. It takes a few minutes before you realize National Treasure is playing. You lean into Callie and let yourself get sucked into the movie, once again the world of fiction was much better then reality.

\--

“Callie we came as soon as you called” Roxy said bursting in throwing herself at Callie who had gotten up briefly to make you and her some popcorn. 

“Roxy! I didn’t think you’d get here so soon!” Callie said welcoming the embrace. 

“Rosy Is here as well, she just didn’t want to run in here like I did” Roxy said letting go of Callie to turn towards you, the sad look on her face didn’t suit her at all. 

“John my poor baby” She enveloped you into a tight hug one that you doubt you could get out of alone.

“Roxy please let go of John” The way the woman had said your name made it sound like it wasn’t the first time she’s talked about you, like there was a connection between the two of you that you were completely unaware of.

“No Rosy never, John is my precious baby who must be protected at all costs. I will save him from the outside world” Roxy buried her head in your shoulder tightening her grip.

“Roxy, we came here for a reason please let me at least greet John.” The way she spoke sounded very formal and professional, it irked you. 

“Aww okay Rosy” Roxy detached herself from you and went to sit next to Callie. 

“Hello John I‘ve heard so much about you” The way she smiled made you feel like she’s heard more then just a few words Roxy probably mentioned about you. 

“Hi” You hated the sound that came out, it made you sound small and weak. 

“Now I am a therapist and Roxy told me that you’ve had previous experience with therapists am I correct?” You nod feeling very anxious, you started chewing on your lip and picking at your fingers. 

“In your opinion did it help, to talk to someone?” Rose asked and Callie dragged Roxy outside. 

“Well, yes, just not to her, she didn’t help me it was mainly my sister Jane and cousin Jade who helped me” Rose just nodded and crossed her legs.

“Can you tell me about why you moved here to LA?” You searched her face and found no trace of any other emotion but curiosity.

“My dad got offered this great job opportunity, he was able to open his own business in the city, its currently very successful.” Rose nodded taking in every word you said. 

“And why did he send you to a private school instead of a public school?” 

“I-I have bad anxiety, I don’t do well in crowded places or meeting new people or making friends, he thought if he sent me to a smaller school I’d have an easier time meeting people and make friends quicker then if he sent me to a public school with more then 500 people.” Your lip started bleeding but that didn’t stop you. 

“And how did that work out?” You didn’t like the know it all tone she held and you started feeling very attacked and angry.

“Well you’re here so what does that say to you” you spat at her and caused her to actually giggle. 

“It says things didn’t go quite as planned, now were you starting to make friends before this incident.” There it was again, like she knew something you didn’t, it infuriated you. 

“At one point I thought so, Karkat Vantas and Gamzee Makara, the latter being,” you choked on the words that rose to your throat, “being one of the people to-to” Rose cut you off saving you from finishing the sentence. 

“You don’t have to say it John I understand. What happened between you and them, before the incident.”

“Well, I went to a party with them, got sick so I went back home, they didn’t talk to me after that and then it was completely diminished with the—“ You freeze, the pranks weren’t important, right? They really didn’t have any importance. 

“With the what?” Rose said leaning forward a bit. 

You looked away before you heard Callie enter the room again. 

“John, I’m going to show her the Facebook page, it’ll allow her to learn a lot without you even have to speak about it, is that okay?” You really don’t think you had a choice but Callie looked so hopeful you just nodded your head in agreement. 

Rose took the phone Callie offered and her eyes widened slightly and the look of disgust passed on her face. It quickly changed to showing no evidence of emotion as she scrolled down the page. Roxy looked over her shoulder and just looked at the page and then up at you, speechless. You suddenly felt very exposed and just wanted to go home and lock yourself in your room forever. 

It was 5 minutes before Rose gave the phone back to Callie.

“Callie thank you, that cleared a lot of things up it also said a lot about you John, since you seem to have set up a notification for whenever this page updates” The frown was clear in her voice. 

“The first thing I want you to do is turn off those notifications, especially right now, right now after being raped and a video of it being put up is not only illegal it leads to a lot of opinions on you that are now going to be extremely blown up in your face. Your going to have to ignore all the comments, ignore them more then you ever had in your life. The next few weeks are going to be the most awful of your life, I need you not to give up, I need you to not hurt yourself and I need you to not listen to them, listen to what I say and what Roxy says and what Callie says, don’t listen to those people who are going to tell you that you asked for it, that you wanted it, that you loved it. They are lying, they are manipulating you, and they have been since the first day of school.” All that Rose said was just a reminder for what you already knew. 

“I will meet with you everyday after school until all this is settled, my mother will be in town tomorrow and will be fully informed about this case, all of us are here for you John we will help you get what you deserve.” Rose stood up giving you a tight quick hug before she left. Roxy gave you one last pitying glance before she followed her sister out of the door. 

“Roxy thinks you should wait to tell your dad until her mom gets in town” You nod numbly you were so tired. 

“Are you ready to go home? You can stay here a bit longer if you like” You shake your head you were so very tired. 

“No, no I’m ready to go home, I need a shower anyways, thank you for everything Callie, it means a lot” She gives you a huge hug. 

“Anything for you love, now lets get you home, call me if you need anything also Rose, Roxy or I will be picking you up from school from now on I don’t trust buses or anyone at that school of yours” Callie grabbed her keys before you followed her out to the car. 

“What type of school allows this, the bullying the teasing, isn’t there a zero tolerance policy at this knock off school” You stay silent just listening to Callie rant. 

Almost too soon you were at your house and saying goodbye to Callie. You watched as she drove off, you walked up your driveway and opened the front door; the smell of baking didn’t hit your senses right away so it was safe to say your father hadn’t come home yet. Deciding to not even enter your room you head straight for the bathroom, you watched clean and fresh blood alike fall down your bruised body and swirl into the drain.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dont know why this story is taking such a dark turn, anyways Dave will be making an appearance soon, that chapter is going to erase all this sadness I promise, well no I make no promises. 
> 
> I only promise Dave will be here very very soon.

“Hello I’m Ms. Lalonde, I’ve heard so much about you John, the first thing we are going to do is go to your father since you are only a minor.” It had been 3 days since Rose had first spoken to you and you’ve told her more then you thought you would’ve ever told anyone, she just had this way to get things out of you and even if you didn’t say it vocally you knew she knew everything. 

“O-Okay” you say taking a deep breath, you and Rose have been working together to prepare yourself for this moment and in some ways you felt like you could do it, but the actual speaking part, that was something you didn’t know if you could do. 

“And honey, come here so I can fix your makeup” Your face heated up as you tilted your head up and avoided eye contact as Ms. Lalonde blended the make-up out, hiding the purple bruises on your face.

“There, perfect, lets go I set up a meeting with your dad at his bakery for 5 minutes ago” You followed silently behind her as you both got into the car. 

“I have 4 kids you know” Ms. Lalonde said pulling out of your driveway. 

“You’ve met the two girls, pride and joy of my life I tell ya, especially Rose, my little girl does everything herself, never wants her old moms help, it makes her feel vulnerable ya know?” As she was speaking she shot a side smile at you before speeding down the back road she had taken.

“My boys though, now they,” She laughs whole heartedly, “They are something else, youngest one is your age never knows what he’s going to do with his life, bit of a free spirit like his eldest sister, his brother though, whew was he a handful” Her loud boisterous laughing made you feel awkward so you laughed along quietly to ease the awkwardness. 

“When he was 16 he graduated early, didn’t even tell me! I figured out when one of my friends from work said he saw my boy leaving the school after a scheduled graduation rehearsal. Can you believe that? He goes and graduates a year before scheduled and hides it from me, he even applied to a college without me!” She lets out a huge sigh remembering the whole incident. 

“Anyways I confronted him and he let me into his room, that’s when I should’ve known something serious was about to go down, Dirky doesn’t let anyone in his room, not even his own mother, anyways I went in there and what did I see, he had built a fully developed AI and was working on making it mobile, he had built a little robotic flower plant that the AI, Hal, could use to keep me updated when Dirk went off too college, and when he did go, everyday to this day I get daily updates about his grades, his projects his love life” You can’t help but chuckle at that.

“Dirky of course tried to program Hal not to tell me any of that but Hal is smart enough by himself, he fixed it in no time flat, apparently he’s ran off with a boy named Jake English too Hawaii.” Your eyes widen in realization at what she had just said. 

So that’s where Jake was, not only that but his boyfriend was related to Rose and Roxy, how did you never meet the guy or even talk to him? You tried to think if you ever saw him with Jake or around the house. No, no, wait, yes! Dirk had been the one to move you from the couch into your room one night. You tried to think if you saw a face but nothing came to mind. 

“And we are here, you ready sweety? I can do the talking at first but your dad will most likely want to hear it from you, can you handle that?” You nodded slightly and followed her out of the car. 

You followed her into the bakery and watched her silently as she greeted your father. You stood a distance away not wanting to know what was being said. Your father smiled at you but you didn’t miss the confusion that ran through his face at seeing you.

“John come here, you have nothing to be worried about” Ms. Lalonde said sitting you down across form your father. 

“Well this is surely a surprise may I ask what has brought you here today Ms. Lalonde and why you have involved my son in whatever it is” Your dads voice was stern but the sterness wasn’t directed towards you at all. 

“Well Mr. Egbert,” The way she said his name made it clear she was mocking him, “This is about your son and no before you ask he did nothing wrong and isn’t in trouble at all”

“Okay then what is it about then?” You watched your dad as he fixed his tie almost subconsciously. 

“A few days ago your son was badly beaten and raped by fellow students at his school” Whatever your dad expected to come out of her mouth, it sure as hell wasn’t that. 

You grew anxious as you watched your dad try to find the words to explain what he was thinking at the moment. 

“Is this true John?” Your dad looked you in the eyes, but you felt you were beneath him, you were used, dirty, the exact opposite of the perfect gentleman your dad thought you were, you nodded your head while keeping your eyes glued to the suddenly very interesting table. 

“As you can see in these pictures we have concrete evidence against this kid here, Eridan Ampora, who has had previous confrontations with John in the past, and Gamzee Makara who’s father by the way is a very powerful man, I wasn’t even going to press charges against him until Rose showed me these. We can also press charges against Equius Zahhak and Vriska Serket who aided in your sons assault.” Your father looked stunned, he had no idea what to do besides turn the pictures over, he didn’t want to see his son like that. 

“I want to sue the school and each family individually, the school has a zero tolerance for bullying, yet all year John has been violently attacked and been the victim of many humiliating practical jokes multiple students had formed. There is even a whole facebook page dedicated to documenting all the events in chronological order dating back to the first day of school” You watched as she pulled out another photo to show your father, this time it was a print out of the facebook page. 

“Roxanne, destroy them, I want there to be absolutely no mercy when you take this to court, I want you to take them for all I have” Roxanne as you know knew her smirked and smiled at your father. 

“James it would be my upmost pleasure to completely obliterate these fools” You looked between the two and saw an underlying look you couldn’t identify. 

“Good now can you give me and my son a moment alone,” Your heart sped up and you felt sick to your stomach once again, but you swallowed it down and gave a slight nod to Ms. Lalonde. 

Ms. Roxanne Lalonde watched from the outside through the glass storefront. She watched you break down as you and your dad discussed things no child should ever have to discuss, she watched as you broke down and your dad helped try to pick you back up. When she felt satisfied that you and your dad had worked it all out and your dad was filled in, completely, she waved a small goodbye at your father before disappearing into her car and down the street, out of view.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yea okay 2-3 chapters Dave will be here FINALLYYYYYY LIKE OH MY GEEEEE WHY HAVEN'T I INTRODICED HIM YET I NTHE BEGINNING OF THIS I HAD TO HOLD MYSeLF BACK FROM ADDING HIM IN TO eARLY NOW IM HOLDING MYSELF BACK FORM ADDING HIM IN TOO SOON WHAT IS HAPPENING

“Why wont you join me John, do you hate me? It’s cause you hate me right? What did I ever do to deserve this John, I thought we were best friends, I thought I meant more to you John, Joh—“ You interrupt Rose by throwing a pillow directly at her face. 

“Shut up Rose, I just don’t want to go so close to the court date, what if something happens?” Recently you and your dad have been busy preparing statements and gathering witnesses, apparently the Makara’s had hired a very well honored and very scary defense attorney whom had gone up against Ms. Lalonde before, according to Ms. Lalonde the only time she lost was when the forensic evidence was compromised and there was nothing more to compose a case on. 

“Your dad’s homeschooling you until all this is figured out and the court date may be tomorrow but your good, we have a solid case, show them your broken ribs and be like, ‘does this seem like foreplay to you your honor’ it’ll be a big hit” You stare at Rose like she had just lost her mind. 

“Rose why do you even want me to go with you, it literally sounds like the worst place in the world” You say emphasizing the word world. 

“John it is literally just mini golf with me and a group of friends” Rose deadpans and you sigh. 

“Fine, why do you even want me to go with you” You say turning to lie on your stomach to look at her. 

“Because Jonathan Egbert, like I stated earlier you’re my best friend”

“Who’s there you want me to meet” You say seeing straight through her, spending every day with Rose really pays off, she dropped her wall pretty quickly once you guys actually started talking as friends and not doctor-patient. 

“Okay so there’s this girl, I think she goes to your school but she’s a senior and she is the hottest girl ever and I just want to—“ You make a sound similar to one of barfing. 

“Ewe Rose I really don’t want to know, so why do you want me to meet her?” Rose looks up at you from the floor, her face flushed slightly. 

“Well if she ever took part in bullying you I wont even consider it, in fact I’ll make her feel so bad about herself she’ll never be able to look in a mirror without feeling ashamed of herself.” You frowned deeply.

“The name means nothing to me, your most likely safe, plus don’t ruin someone’s self esteem for me, no one should hate themselves.” Rose sighed she knew you were right. 

“I know but I just care about you a lot and I just want to punch everyone, even your cousin Jades boyfriend, I tried to get Dirk to reach her through the internet obviously and apparently her boyfriend monitors all her online activity. She’s in a huge abusive relationship, and I doubt she knows anyway to get out of it and because of her boyfriends controlling behavior I doubt she’s be able to get out even if she wanted too”

“Rose your very vocal today” You say hanging your head off the side of the bed to giggle at Rose who now looked funny upside down. 

“Whatever the important thing is your coming with me tonight, now hand me the Wii remote by your bed so I can show you how to actually play this game”

You and Rose spend the rest of your time before heading to the mini golf place racing each other in Mario Kart and gossiping about Roxy and Rose’s office friends. 

“You have office friends?” You ask in disbelief when Rose first mentioned them. 

“Well more workplace associates, I wouldn’t say friends at all actually, anyways they love gossiping about clients. Like this one time, Jen, she had this client in high places, kid was only 10 at the time but the parents wanted it super hush hush, bad press you know if the media found out their daughter was in therapy, anyways Jen came out of that first appointment and ran straight towards the common room, she ran in and told us that the daughter of this super rich family, she wouldn’t give us a name, doctor-patient thing. Anyways she comes in and tells us this girl murdered 3 people who worked at her estate, Jen was freaking out and she didn’t know if she could help someone so clinically insane since she had little experience, it was all quite exciting.”

“What happened to Jen?” You said completely stunned at where this story was going. 

“Oh in one of the sessions the little girl attacked her with a monopoly piece and she’s now missing an eye and the girl was transferred to another psychologist” You stared open mouthed at Rose, not sure if she was telling the truth or being serious. 

“Your not serious right?” You say feeling really bad for this Jen. 

“Oh no this is completely serious, Jens eye was taken out, she has a glass one now, kind of creepy but she’s still very good at her job.” 

“I never want to have your job” Rose laughs before looking at her phone. 

“Come on I told Kanaya we’d be there at 5” You looked down at your own phone and saw it was 4:38. 

“Exactly how far is this place Rose,” You say as you sit up on your bed. 

“Next town over, now hurry up and get your shoes on.” Rose slips on her flats before standing up, looking at you expectedly, “Come on hurry up”

“Chill out we’ll make it in time for you to see your girlfriend just let me tie my shoes” You made a huge dramatic showing of slowly tying your shoes, once you finished you gave the disapproving look on Roses face a huge grin before you followed her out of the house. 

“So, is she into girls as well or are you guessing” You say once you get into the passenger seat of Roses car. 

“Well that’s just the thing, I don’t know, from our few conversations I never got anything, nada, nothing, it’s so frustrating.” John laughed. 

“Of course it is, falling for possible straight girls is like a death wish Rose” A blind man wouldn’t miss the glare Rose sent your way.

“I know that John, don’t talk to me this conversation is over” To prove her point she turns the radio up to full blast, blasting the current song on the radio which was Little Talks. 

When you reached the mini golf place you saw an abundance of fake animals and cheesy safari themed props. You watched as Rose begin to get anxious, the though that maybe Kanaya wasn’t coming quickly crossed your mind but when you saw Roses whole body language change you know that thought was wrong. You followed Roses line of sight and saw a tall slender Indian women waving to you and Rose. 

“Go to her, I’m right behind you” you say pushing Rose ever so slightly forward. 

That’s all it took, you watched Rose go to Kanaya and didn’t miss how she basically threw herself into the girl’s arms. You waited a few minutes, letting them talk before you walked up to them. Kanaya gave you one look before her eyes widened and she quickly looked around her, like she was scared someone was watching. 

“Rose, why did you bring him?” Kanaya whispers and you notice the way Rose’s face twists into one of discontent. 

“Because he’s my best friend, do you have a problem with him?” Rose said taking a step closer towards you. 

“No, no! That’s not it, it’s just I brought my own friend, Karkat and he’s been—“ Rose held her hand up signaling Kanaya to stop talking. 

“He’s been the one harassing John” Rose said and you frowned, Karkat wasn’t there for the incident but he was still part of your group of bullies. 

“Yes and John look there’s a lot you don’t know about him, just know he really did want to be friends with you” You just shake your head. 

“Its cool Kanaya, no need to explain, I’m trying to move on from it all.” You said standing awkwardly between Rose and Kanaya. 

“Look Kanaya, I have one thing that will really make or break this, did you ever take part in a prank against John or physically hurt him” The look of horror on Kanayas face calmed Rose down a bit. 

“Rose! Don’t be so direct, your scaring her,” You say tugging on Rose’s arm. 

“Look Rose, I don’t know what you’ve heard but I’ve never ever taken part in any of the horrid events that happened to John, especially the—“ Kanaya stopped talking and looked over both yours and Rose’s shoulders. 

“What the fuck is he doing here Kanaya!” Karkat said fuming, not even bothering with a greeting.

“Karkat calm down” Kanaya said and Rose had pulled you so you were behind her. 

“No I will not calm down Kanaya what is that fucking faggot doing here!”

“KARKAT, YOU WILL STOP THIS RIGHT NOW, JOHN HAS DONE NO WRONG BY LIKING THE SAME SEX AND YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS BECAUSE I TOO FIND MYSELF ATTRACTED TO THE SAME GENDER SO INSULT ME LIKE YOU INSULT HIM IF YOU REALLY FEEL THAT WAY” You saw Kanaya’s cheeks flame up as she cast a side glance to Rose who was smiling at Kanaya’s confession.

Karkats mouth was wide open, shocked by Kanaya’s outburst. You watched as he struggled to get words out of his mouth but couldn’t quite get them past his throat. 

“Good, now lets all get ready for an exciting night of mini golf, and Karkat I swear to god if you start anything I will personally throw you into the water.” You stifle your laugh behind Rose. 

The game itself was pretty tame, you and Karkat hung out a few steps behind Rose and Kanaya letting them enjoy their date. Karkat didn’t say a word to you and you didn’t say anything to him, in fact you felt really exposed near him and wished you could go hide near Rose. You weren’t a little kid though, you were 16 and you had to give Rose her space and deal with your own problems. 

The game ended with you winning unintentionally and Karkat losing. You didn’t miss the heated glare he threw at you when Rose told everyone the scores. Rose bid goodbye to Kanaya and gave her a peck on the cheek before coming towards you and heading to the car. 

“You know he’s the one who pressed charges against me right?” You heard Karkat say before you closed the passenger door of Roses car. 

“Tonight was fun right?” Rose said a truly happy smile on her face. 

You gave her a not so true smile, pulling down your sleeves subconsciously.

“Yea tonight was fun”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for the note in the begining


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk how trials work and tbh I tried researching it but I didn't get it so I formally apologize

To say being in court was scary as hell would be the understatement of the year. You were beyond terrified and only the calming hand of your father could control the shaking. You had saw Eridan and Gamzee before hand, both dressed up in suits and both looking quite smug for 2 people being charged with rape which was very serious according to Ms. Lalonde. 

Earlier that morning Rose had met with you to make sure you were still able to testify and that you were doing well. You had assured her you were fine and you could make it through. 

“It’s almost over right?” You said chuckling half-heartedly and Rose frowning slightly. 

Now here you were, the folder full of all the compromising photos of you and the DVD with the full video of your attack. It made you sick just thinking about it. Looking around the room Jane and Jake waved to you smiling encouragingly. Jade had even made it, surprisingly, she looked tired and exhausted and you didn’t miss the purple underneath her make-up, she couldn’t hide a bruise from someone who was also hiding bruises. Karkat was also in the room but on the other side, he seemed to be discussing something diligently with Terezi, when he felt your eyes on him he looked at you and flipped you off. 

The judge came in the room and everyone stood up. You stared down at the ground knowing the whole courtroom would be focused on you once you sat down. All too soon your father pulled on your sleeve to have you sit down. You glanced back at Jade who was avoiding eye contact with you before you sat down. Ms. Lalonde looked at you next silently asking for your permission to start, you slowly nodded and she stood up, ready to kick these kids in the ass. 

“As you will soon learn my client was brutally beaten then raped inside the school’s locker room, not only was this a serious act of violence it was a also a hate crime against this poor boy who happens to be open about his sexuality, and if you can’t tell by his face just how horrible of a crime those 2 men over there committed let me show you the pictures that they themselves took and distributed online of the attack…”

When the court was adjourned you felt somewhat better, Ms. Lalonde was doing really well, shutting down all the excuses and accusations Ms. Pyrope sent her way, well technically your way. The police officer by the door had warned your father about all the news stations and people from the media waiting outside but your father just nodded. He held your hand tighter as Ms. Lalonde took the lead outside, claiming that she was better versed in dealing with those types of people. 

“James Egbert, how does it feel to know your son was attacked inside the very school you pay 5,000$ a year to send him too!”

“Ms. Lalonde! How does it feel to go head to head with Ms. Pyrope once again, do you feel like she might just beat you again this time?”

“John Egbert is it true that you brutally attacked your so called rapists when they tried to become friends with you in the beginning of the year”

That one got to you. 

“What? No they never tried to become friends with me and I never did anything violent to them ever” Ms. Lalonde stepped in then pulling you away telling you not to talk anymore. 

She shoved you into the waiting car and turning around to dismiss all the cameras and journalists. Your dad got in the passenger seat and Ms. Lalonde eventually came to sit next to you in the back. 

“Roxanne why is this going another day, all the proof is there what could they possibly have to defend themselves against that” Your dad said clearly agitated. 

“James this isn’t an exact science, we got them for statutory rape, even though we want it to be first degree rape which we will get them for as well with child pornography thrown into the mix, those kids wont be out until they are at least 21.” Your stomach twisted up, 5 years, 5 years they’d be locked up, inside you know you should be happy but your truly not, it should seem long enough but it doesn’t seem it at all. 

“The important thing is the judge did make the school pay us 5000 dollars for being so god damn useless and once this case is wrapped up we’ll for sure have a huge sum of money coming our way from the Ampora’s and Makara’s.” You pull up into your driveway where you see Roxy, Callie and Jane waving at you. 

“Hey what are all you guys doing here?” You say returning the hug Callie gave you.

“We’re about to rewatch the trial on the news, see what the media says about it” Jane says giving you a tight hug. 

“Mom, you are going to want to see this” Rose said sticking her head out of the door. 

“What is it Rosy?” Ms. Lalonde said rushing inside; everyone was quick to follow her. 

“Look at this” Rose turns the volume on the TV up a bit and you hear the words come through the TV screen. 

“Well you know Carol it’s incredibly difficult, even for an outsider like me, to watch what happened as these two young men that had such promising futures, star football players, very good students, it was hard to watch as their lives are literally being torn apart.” All mouths were open as the principal of your school spoke in front of the court.

“What’s your view on the victim Jonathan Egbert?” Someone said off camera and your principal cleared his throat before speaking. 

“I think he’s a young kid who doesn’t know how serious rape accusations are, our school is one of the best in the state, to think this actually happened within our walls is highly unlikely.” You could feel the tension in the air and you didn’t know what to say, after seeing the video and being handed the pictures how could he still say that?

“My names not Jonathan” Is the only thing you find yourself able to say before slipping off to your room, the last thing you hear is Ms. Lalonde making one very angry call. 

You enter your room and immediately see Jade sitting on your bed picking at a string on her dress. She looks up surprised to see you despite this being your room. Before your even able to get a word out she leaps off the bed and traps you into a tight hug. Now words are exchanged but you feel a few tears land on your shoulders.

“John I’m so sorry, I didn’t know Vinny called you that night I just thought you hated me and didn’t want to talk to me anymore though I should’ve known that he said something, he’s so fucking awful and manipulative, I can’t believe I let him control me for so long.” You just hugged Jade to you, holding her like you were afraid she’d disappear if you let go. 

“It’s okay, you’re here now,” You say and Jade lets go standing in front of you. 

“Yes but I wasn’t there for you when you needed me the most, you were fucking raped John! And what did I do? Nothing I didn’t even know until Jake told me we were coming to LA for a while.” Jade looked so tired. 

“He gave that to you didn’t he” You say rubbing some of the makeup off of her face. 

“Jake? No! Jake would never touch me” Jade looked at you like you were insane but you just gave her a stern fatherly look. 

“No not Jake, Vinny” Jade avoided your eyes and shrunk down, you knew you were right. 

“I hope you broke up with him,” You say and she quickly nods her head. 

“Of course! That’s actually how I got the bruise, I told him I was leaving and that this relationship was over and he called me a cheating bitch then punched me in the face. I kicked him in the balls and ran after that.” She lets out a small laugh and you can’t help but let out a small laugh as well. 

“Way to go Jade, cheap shots all around, want to play Mario Kart? I feel my balls would be much safer if we played a video game instead of a real one.” You say turning your TV on before handing her a remote. 

“No promises John” Jade smirks, and you didn’t miss the evil glint in her eyes. 

“20$ I’ll beat you on any map of your choice” You say scrolling through the maps. 

“Bring it the fuck on Jonathan, I’m about to be 20$ richer”

For a brief moment everything felt right and you didn’t even feel like anything bad had happened to you, with Jade you felt like you were a little kid again with no worries about your own rape trial or your cuts and bruises. You felt like you were an innocent kid just playing Mario Kart with their long time best friend. You loved that feeling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> funfact #1: This fic was only supposed to be a 10k fic


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay I wrote this and I'm pushing off writing Dave in AGAIN THIS IS BULLSHIT

It was November now, Jade had gone back to Washington, but was coming back today and Ms. Lalonde had left to go back to New York with Rose. The trial had been over for a few weeks but some legal stuff still had to be worked out. You didn’t transfer schools much to your dads discontent, instead you insisted on staying, claiming you’d be a constant reminder of the schools failure to follow procedures and they’d feel overwhelmingly guilty and do everything in their power to make sure it never happens to you again. It wasn’t until Rose told your dad privately that you didn’t want to change to another school after not even a year at the first one. Your dad eventually caved and you thanked Rose when she told you she talked to him. 

Now it was just you and your dad once again, he had gone back to work and shooed off the occasional journalist who walked into his bakery. You had gone back to school and still had no progress on making a friend. Apparently tossing the two most popular guys into jail for 6 years made you even more hated then before, this time though you were okay with it, you knew that now that Vriska and Equius had been expelled and Vriska put in a juvenile detention for two years you walked with a little less fear in the hallways. Room 111 was still closed off which upset you but you figured if push comes to shove you’d break in just to say one last hello to Dave Strider. 

Karkat was now hanging around Nepeta, Terezi with him. Apparently Equius was Nepeta’s best friend, she no longer spoke to you at all in math class. In fact in all your classes no one spoke to you, even the teachers tried to avoid it. You didn’t think about it too much, Thanksgiving break started tomorrow and this was your last day at school for a week. You were going to Jade and Jake’s grandparents house on their island in the pacific somewhere. You were really looking forward to it. You haven’t been to grandpa Harley’s in a few years. 

The bell rang signaling the end of school, you exited the classroom last making a path straight to your locker, most people had left so the hallway was somewhat clear. You opened your locker and to say an avalanche of colored plastic balls surprised you would be a lie, at least this was a simple harmless prank. You spotted Karkat in the crowd that had gathered and aimed a yellow ball straight at his face. You missed your mark, only because he dodged it before scowling and flipping you off. 

You grab the notebook you needed before shutting the locker door closed and heading towards the exit. You could see Jake’s jeep so you quickly made your way to it. 

“Hello mate how was school today?” He said pulling out of the school. 

“It was just really quite” You say turning the music up all the way and singing along to Fall Out Boy with Jake as he drove home. 

When you pulled in the driveway Jade was already outside waiting for you.   
“John!” She said hugging you, you picked her up and spun her causing her to laugh. 

“Hey Jade! It’s been forever” She nods eagerly in agreement. 

“Lets agree to never ever go that long without each other again” You nodded very seriously. 

“Agreed”

“Your Dad will be here in a few minutes then we’re off, so if you need to pack anything last minute now would be the time” You open the door and enter the house. 

“You know me so well Jade, let me go pack my suitcase” Jade just gently hits your shoulder and you laugh while sprinting to your room. 

You looked around your room it seemed to be fairly clean. Your suitcase was still under the bed completely empty you hadn’t even begun to pack for this trip. You grabbed your suitcase and unzipped it laying it on your bed. After that was done you faced your closet and decided all your jeans and all your shorts would be packed because you never know the weather. Then you turned towards your shirts, you mainly packed long sleeve but if you felt a bit risky you wanted to have an option of tank tops or short sleeves. So you just grabbed as many shirts as you could carry in your arms, socks and underwear came next but that was no problem. You packed your computer and a few books before closing the suitcase. There now you were done packing. 

You rolled your suitcase to the front door just in time as well; your Dad came through and looked somewhat surprised that you were actually packed. 

“Did you have a good day at school son?” You nodded quickly assuring him no one had done anything to hurt you. 

“Yup it was dull and I learned nothing” Your dad chuckled and left to go grab his bag. 

Exiting the house you handed your suitcase off to Jake who piled it into his Jeep. You sat next to Jade as you waited until Jake and Dad had finished getting everything sorted out and making sure they had everything they needed. When they were done you stood up brushing the dirt off your shorts. 

“I love planes,” You say to no one in particular. 

“Yea well now you get to ride 10 hours in one, it’s your lucky day” Jade said bumping into you purposefully, you ignored the slight sting as your shirt caught on the skin underneath. 

“Yep, I’m just that lucky” You said smirking before you raced her to get to the car first. 

Jade had won the race to the car so she had gotten to sit in the window seat on the way there you were only a little upset. The plane was pretty small; really it was only big enough for 12 people. You had your headphones plugged in and 3 movies already downloaded on your phone, around you Jade was already plugged in listening to some strange podcast while reading the book she had brought with her. Jake was sitting next to Jane talking about his boyfriend and the adventures they had been on. Jane was being a good sport and listening intently but you could see the wire that meant she was really listening to music instead of Jakes ramblings. Your dad was talking to the pilot who was an old family friend since your family was really the only one who ever used this plane. 

“You guys all strapped in back there?” Everyone stopped what they were doing for a quick second to answer with a resounding yes. 

“Okay, then we’re off now, 10 hours of non-stop flying, hope none of you have developed air sickness since the last time I brought you out” The pilot chuckled before the plane began to move. 

You leaned over Jade to look out the window, ignoring the slaps she sent on to your shoulder. 

“John get off me! I’m trying to read here!” She lifted her book up to hit your chest, another futile attempt to get you to move. 

“Whatever Jade, you can wait a few minutes to read, we do have 10 hours on this plane” You said rolling your eyes and proving your point by flopping down completely on her. 

“I hate you,” Jade said conceding to your childish whims. 

“I love you too Jade” You said pressing your face against the window as the plane lifted off. 

You stayed like that for a while, you’re leaning a bit too much on to Jade but she made no comment on it. When you were satisfied with looking out the window you sat back up and leaned your seat back a bit. You unlocked your phone and pressed play on the first movie on your playlist. Con Air, a true cinematic masterpiece. You put your headphones on before hitting play. 

You were already shifting uncomfortably in your seat by the time Con Air had ended. You forgot how cramped planes were. Unbuckling your seat belt you stood up in the aisle and stretched, ignoring the little shake that almost made you trip back into your seat. No one paid you much attention as you moved back a few rows. You turned your music on to cover the annoying noise of the engines. You laid down in the back row of the plane, feeling your body actually start to relax. You rolled up your sleeves, white scars littered your arm, and your shoulder held a few fairly recent ones in varying states of healing. You hoped no one pushed you to go swimming in the huge pool Grandma made Grandpa Harley install last spring. You let out a heavy sigh at this moment you regretted your choices. The regret wouldn’t last though, by tonight you’d know you deserve those scars and many more, you also know you love the scars, you love the feel of them on your arm, you love the feeling every time a blade touches your skin. It was severely unhealthy and you know you should probably talk to Rose about this. Instead of dwelling on things that’ll just make you sad you close your eyes and try to lose yourself in the music and fall asleep. 

“Joooooooohn, Joooohhhhhhn wake up, I’m boooooored” You wake up to Jade poking you. 

“What? How long have I been asleep?” You say sitting up, your head spinning like crazy. 

“Two hours maybe three? I don’t know we still have 5 more hours though so not long enough” You groan and rub the sleep out of your eyes. 

“Why are you bothering me weren’t you reading?” You ask sitting in one seat now instead of laying on two. 

“I was but I finished it and I ran out of pre-downloaded podcasts. So you’re my last resort” Jade said resting her head on your shoulder. 

“Glad I was your last option” You say resting your head on hers. 

“You know when I went back to school again he had a girlfriend already, and I didn’t see them in the hallways oh no, he sent me a picture of him fucking her.” You put your arm around Jade, not knowing any words to help her out at the moment. 

“That’s the one thing I could never do for him, whenever he pressured me I’d make it very clear I wasn’t interested, he’d hit me for that but after that he wouldn’t bring it up until at least a week.” You hug her tighter.

“You know I thought I was special, he was a senior, he’d been held back twice, smoked weed outside in cancer corner everyday before school, I thought if he was with me I could help him you know, I thought if he had a distraction from the drugs and his family then he’d be happier but he was just so violent.” Jade seemed so torn, like she was angry and sad all at the same time, yet she still held love in her eyes for the boy. 

“Jade you are special and one day your going to find that special someone who knows just how special you are, Vinny was a dickbag and you are much better off without him in your life, he used you and you are more then just someone who can be used, you are Jade freaking Harley, future Nobel Prize winner and future best rifle shooter in all the east coast” Jade laughs at your attempt to cheer her up that is actually going quite well.

“Yes I know, anyways John, why is that your wallpaper?” Jade says picking up your phone. 

“Oh well uhm, remember that desk?” Jade nods her head and your cheeks turn bright red when her eyes widen in realization. 

“No way! That’s the desk, the desk where you and your crush exchange love notes!” Jade said trying to zoom in even though it was just your wallpaper. 

“Yes it’s the desk and quite down! Also I told you he’s a ghost and we’ve never exchanged love notes” Jade looks at you with an un-amused face.

“Please John you guys so were, by the way you talk about him I’m surprised your not pregnant with his baby” You gave Jade a confused look and watched as she laughed. 

“Okay I admit that wasn’t as funny as I thought it would be but really John you bought this ‘ghost’ a 100 and 50 dollar Christmas present, if you really believed he wasn’t real you would not have done that.” Jade had a point but it’s been months and you’ve looked all over the internet for a Dave Strider and just got shitty drawings that look like a 5 year old drew them. 

“Jade, shut up you’re the only person I’ve ever told” You hiss out so no one else overhears you.

“And that’s a huge honor but really I think you should talk to Jane or even Jake about him” She said that with a knowing tone like she knew something you didn’t.

“Why?” You ask staring at her skeptically. 

“I don’t know just a gut feeling” Jade said before playing Scott Pilgrim vs. The World.

You drop it before focusing on the movie. You still had 4 hours on this plane and this would be a better way to pass the time then talking about mystery (definitely a ghost) Dave. Jade drifts off to sleep on your shoulder before the movie ends and you find yourself listening to her breath more then your listening to the movie. Following her lead you lay your head to rest on hers before drifting off to sleep. 

“John, Jade we’ve landed, I suggest you both wake up unless you want to spend another 10 hours back to the states!” Jake says gently shaking both you and Jade.   
You wake up first, moving your head to crack your neck, then arching your back until you hear and feel a few satisfying pops that make you sigh in relief. Jade wakes up soon after, yawning and curling into a ball, refusing to wake up. You shake her but feel like doing the same thing. You yawn before moving past her into the aisle. You see Jane pulling her bag out from under her seat and Jake pulling his suitcase out of the overhead compartment. You went back to the row you and Jade were originally in and pulled both her and your backpack out form under the seat. You felt Jade come up from behind you and handed her the bag. She just nodded to you closing her eyes and leaning dangerously to the left. You exited the plane ignoring the goodnight that the pilot sent your way. Jade was nicer however and mumbled a goodnight his way. 

“John carry me” Jade said leaning on your back as your dad came over with your suitcases. 

“No way Jade, I’m just as tired as you are” You said extending your handle of your suitcase upwards. 

“Not possible, now carry me” Jade wasted no time hopping onto your back making you lean dangerously forward. 

“Jade!” You say shifting your weight to support her. 

“Sleep” Jade said pressing her face into your hair. 

“No Jade get off, I will drop you,” You threatened but Jade just mumbled words into your hair. 

“Looks like you’re in a bit of a pickle mate, no worries I’m here to save the day!” Jake said and you were hoping he was talking about taking Jade on his back. 

“I’ll take her suitcase for you chum” You want to let out a frustrated groan. 

“Hurry up John I want to eat something that’s not packaged peanuts.” Jane said a few feet ahead of you. 

You sighed but started to walk, rolling your suitcase behind you. 

“Your lucky I like you,” You say just loud enough for Jade to hear, the only response you get is her arms wrapped tighter around your shoulders. 

When you get to the front door of the mansion you almost drop to your knees. You were not built for carrying a person, 2 backpacks and a suitcase. Jade slid off of you and walked into the door in front of you. When you followed her in you recognized the familiar smell of hazelnuts and gunpowder. You also recognized the strong pair of arms that swept you up into a hug. 

“Look how much you’ve grown my boy! Are those muscles I see through your shirt?” You laugh with Grandpa Harley. 

“No Grandpa H, no muscles at all just skin and bones as per usual” He smiles at you as your grandmother comes in to give you a hug. 

“We haven’t seen you or your sister around here in quite some time, you really must come more frequently” She said placing a kiss on your cheek. 

“Grandma! Where did you put the cookie sheet?” Jane calls from the kitchen, causing Grandma to excuse herself. 

“So John, any dashing young men by your side yet” Your grandpa said wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. 

“Ew grandpa no, I’m a single pringle” You give him a playful smile and he lets out a deep chuckle before going into the other room. 

“I bet you 20$ that you wont be single after Christmas” Jade says following you to the main room. 

“What? Why Christmas? There’s not even anyone I want to date, are you sure you want to give your money away like that Jade” You say, not willing to flat out turn down 20$. 

“20$, Christmas, you’ll have a boyfriend” Jade says not backing down. 

“Your on” You both shake on it. 

“Can’t wait to be 20$ richer” You say laying back on the couch. 

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” Jade said turning on the TV. 

You ignore her comment in favor of watching the Doctor Who episode on TV. A little while later everyone comes in and sits down, ignoring the fact its 3 am you all enjoy a batch of sugar cookies Jane made and David Tennant’s amazing acting. You smile in content as the Doctor gives a silly smile at Rose before you take another bite of Jane’s delicious baking. Right now you were content. Right now you were happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 10 is my favorite Doctor and basically him and Rose have been my OTP since forever and I love them to death  
> also this was super long
> 
> Funfact #3 I like to think John's favorite doctor is 9 because 9 doesn't get enough love like ever and John would be a sap who'd find doctor who on netflix and fall in love with 9 on the second episode I'd even go as far to say John would closet cosplay him and try to act like him resulting in many well earned laughs :P
> 
> Okay anyways yea Idk where this is going but it's vaguely all planned out in my head.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> すべては申し分なくある
> 
> デーブはクリスマスの間に入る、従って次の章でのようにこのお祝いを変換したらそれらは最終的に、また会う! 私はある従って嬉しい検索棒I愛にこれをそんなにコピーアンドペーストすることに時間を入れる

Your almost positive there was too much food on the table for just the seven of you. There were 3 unidentified birds that Jake and Grandpa Harley had gone out and shot earlier, cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes, green beans, corn, stuffing, stuffing casserole, a whole pig and a bowl of gravy. You had no clue who was going to eat all this food and that was just the main dish, not to mention the bread was still in the oven. 

“Okay so we’ll have the soup first, then we’ll carve the birds, then Jake will cut the pig and everyone else can grab whatever side dishes they want, after that we’ll bring out a salad and when that’s done you grab the pies and I’ll take the cookies out of the oven, oh and Jade also was in here making something but she said no one was allowed to know so that’s going to be a surprise.” Jane said to your Dad who just nodded. 

You had already sat down at the table in your quite heavy striped cashmere sweater that was almost too hot to wear. Thanksgiving dinner was only mere minutes away and you knew that it was going to be a bit uncomfortable. After these past few months you knew the case was going to be brought up and you don’t think you wanted to discuss it with your family any more. Your grandmother and Jade were the first people to sit down with you, Jade was wearing a cute blue dress that complimented her figure. She sat down next to you and you both dived into a huge conversation about the size of the mansion. 

“Have you found the game room? I did last night when I got up to go get water, they have every single game that’s ever came out and every console that was ever made, it’s amazing and huge, the TV in there is 90” motherfucking inches John, 90” and the surround sound is of the highest quality” Jade said rambling on about the game room that she was definitely showing you after dinner. 

“No, but you are so showing me it after this, but get this across from my room is a legit trampoline room, the ceiling must reach up all the way too the roof, but it’s so cool it has its own speaker system that you can hook your phone up into, it was so unreal I was there till 5 am.” You and Jade exchange stories about your past few days in the house, with the house being so big you rarely ever run into each other and when you do see each other your in the middle of another big adventure through the house. 

Jake comes in during one of Jades stories and sits down next to her, his green tie matching his eyes. He hears her story and waits till she finishes to add in one of his, which is admittedly much cooler then either yours or Jades. Jake loves to wonder off into the jungle, climbing trees, getting muddy, hunting for treasure, that kind of stuff. You and Jade both cling onto every single one of his words as he tells you about how he ran into a gorilla deep in the jungle and he had to hide out in a cave before it finally left him alone and he took the treetop route home so he wouldn’t accidently run into it again on his way home. 

“I’m telling you that thing must’ve been 600 pounds it was ginormous” Jake said portraying just how big it was with is arms.

“Well that’s just old Sadie” Grandpa Harley said chuckling and sitting at the end of the table. 

“Oh, Sadie is such a dear I remember when she was a baby, I fed her myself in this very kitchen” Grandma said suddenly becoming interested in the conversation. 

“Sadie is no longer a little baby I’m afraid Grandma, she is in fact quite scary looking” Jake said his cheeks flushed a bit red. 

“Nonsense Sadie is as sweet as ever, we had dinner with her just last week.” Grandma said dismissing Jakes words. 

“Anyways Jake I’m interested in this new young boy who you’ve seem to be getting quite close to and I’m interested in why he isn’t here with us right now” Grandpa Harley said causing Jake to blush and stutter as he searched for the words to say to Grandpa Harley.

“Uhm, Dirk is with his family and I did invite him because I am a gentlemen of course but he had an important meeting about his new and upcoming project tomorrow so he had to politely decline” Jake said shifting in his seat. 

“Oh well always next time, maybe John will have his own boyfriend to bring over as well, we’ll have to make even more food then, I’ll have to write that down so I don’t forget” Grandma said causing you to blush a bit. 

“Say Jake what about Christmas surely you are going to be spending it with him” Jade was watching the whole thing not even bothering to hide her amusement. 

“Ah, yes we’ve discussed Christmas, I was going to fly up to New York, actually we all are going to be, Ms. Lalonde, Dirks mom, has invited us all up for Christmas and New Years” Jake said this time to your dad who sat across from Jade. 

“How thoughtful of Roxanne, I suppose we could all make a trip up there, if we don’t she’ll only show up at our doorstep with her whole family plus some people she picked up on the way.” You didn’t miss the hint of annoyance in your dads voice and you were yet again thrown of as too why. 

“I’m so going to be 20$ richer” Jade said, seemingly random to everyone but you. 

“Oh good the soups done and everyone is already here!” Jane said entering the room with a pot full of homemade chicken soup. 

“Smells delicious dear” Grandma said as Jane served her some of it.   
“Wonderful as always Jane” Grandpa Harley said smiling up at her. 

“I am so proud of you,” Your father said with what looked like a tear falling down his cheek. 

Jane finally sat down next to you and you both smiled at each other before enjoying the soup. Before you know it 4 different type of meat were placed on your plate and you were filling your plate full of mashed potatoes and corn. It was all insanely good and all insanely too much you could practically feel your pants getting tighter the more you ate. 

“Now that we have finished that lovely dinner and the salad is just here as a courtesy so if someone wants to prolong talking about what they’re thankful for they can claim their mouth is too full to speak at the moment, lets all go around and say what we are thankful for, I’ll start” Grandpa Harley said sitting up a little straighter. 

“I’m so thankful that my family is here today to celebrate this wonderful holiday and that all of them are safe and healthy” You didn’t miss the glance he threw your way at the end of his sentence. 

“Me next!” Grandma said clearing her throat, “I’m so thankful that all my wonderful grandchildren and son in law can be here and I’m so thankful that the boys who attacked my poor John were locked up for a long time because what they did was just unthinkable and I’m so thankful he got through in one piece” You wanted to hide, you hated this topic.

“I guess it’s my turn, I to am very thankful that my son John has come out of this whole mess in one piece and I’m so proud of him for handling his case so well and professionally, I’m also thankful my daughter comes down to visit more frequently then she previously believed she would.” Jane smiled before taking a bite of her salad, being the first on to use it as a distraction. 

“Uhm, okay, I’m thankful for Roxy who helped me get through this semester of college because without her I would have definitely given up” The adult’s chuckle and now it’s your turn. 

“I’m thankful for everyone who’s helped me get through these past few months because without you all I wouldn’t be here right now” You rush out and quickly stuff you mouth full of food so people know not to talk about it even more with you. Out of the corner of your eye you do see your dad wipe away a tear and just shove more food in your mouth. 

“I’m thankful for John because without his support I’d find myself in a really bad situation that I don’t ever need to be in again” Jade said stuffing a roll into her mouth, using your method of food inhalation to avoid questions.

“Well uh I guess that just leaves me” Jake says clearing his throat, “I’m thankful for Dirk, for showing me there is more out there then movies and adventuring, he truly means the world to me” The aww’s around the table were deafening and you smiled as Jakes cheeks turned a bright red. 

“Well now that that’s done with lets bring on the pie,” Grandpa Harley said as your dad left the room to grab the pies. 

Jane and Jake got out of their seats and started clearing the table, wrapping up the extra food and shoving it all into the fridge. You and Jade sat in your seats picking at the bread that was left on the table. Jade was occasionally glancing down at her phone and after reading the message you took it out of her hands.

“Jade you need to stop talking to him, you need to do your best to just forget him completely, he isn’t good for you and that message,” you say referring to the one you just read, “Is a lie Jade, he doesn’t love you, you remember those bruises, those bruises don’t represent love Jade. Just forget him completely and move on.”

Jade looked like she was about to cry but nodded her head.

“Your right, I need to find someone who treats me like a goddess.” 

“That’s right your Jade Harley and no boy is gonna walk all over you”

“Your damn right I’m Jade Harley and no one take advantage of me” Jade said gaining confidence. 

“That’s the spirit!” You say as your dad walks in with about 16 different pies. 

“All the pies everyone will need” Your dad says putting the pies on the table. 

“And cookies!” Jane says placing 3 plates stacked high with cookies. 

“Oh! I’ll be right back,” Jade says darting up from her seat and running off somewhere. 

“Where is she going?” you ask to no one in particular. 

“She was making something earlier, I guess she ran off to get it” Jane said cutting into a pie.

“I made a pink lava cake!” Jade said holding up a bright pink cake for everyone to see. 

“Pink lava cake?” That seemed to be the question everyone was asking but you vocalized. 

“Yes, its like regular lava cakes except everything is pink and it’s garnished with fruits, there’s mangoes and strawberries and even blackberries.” Jade said setting it down on the table. 

Once everyone was over the initial shock they dove in, you grabbed 2 pieces of blueberry pie, a piece of Jade’s pink lava cake which was actually very good and 8 of Jane’s cookies. Overall you felt very overstuffed. You were the first to leave for your bedroom claiming to be feeling a bit sick form all the food; instead of going to your room though you decided to explore more of the house. 

Making your room the center point for your exploration you decided to go right instead of left this time. Upon doing so you found a flight of stairs you quickly climbed, finding yourself in yet another hallway. Taking a chance you opened up the first door, it was just bedroom so you closed the door moving to the next one. It was an art studio, which was surprising but not really. You closed the door and moved on to the next one, the smell of chemicals hit you and you vaguely remembered the name for this room, a dark room. You closed the door again and walked down the hallway a bit more and chose at random a door too open. 

It was an aquarium, one like you’ve never seen before with fish you couldn’t even begin to identify. You looked into one tank to see a bioluminescent octopus. It was beautiful really, you continued to wander in the room finding more bioluminescent creatures and creatures that just looked plain strange. The strangest one being what seemed to be a tiny dragon submerged in water. You pressed your face to the glass trying to get a better look with the dim lighting. The creature seemed to come closer to you, curling in on itself. It was truly magnificent and its skin seemed to be golden. Then you saw it, another one that looked just like it, a deep blue they curled up with each other and the colors clashed magnificently. You mentally made sure to remember where this room was exactly to show Jade later. 

You exited the room throwing one last glance at the octopus. You closed the door behind you and made your way back to your room. You quickly got out of the sweater that was making you sweat excessively and changed into a tank top, your cuts and scars were visible but it didn’t matter. No one would bother you and it felt like it was a hundred degrees in here. You took your pants off enjoying the cool air on your legs. You climbed into bed and opened up Netflix on your phone, you fell asleep watching Parks and Rec, all the while dreaming up what else this mansion had to offer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk japanese thats from google translate


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so long dysphoria sucks and has been hitting me worse then ever and I can't seem to write anything of quality. So sorry for the wait bit here it is!

“Now that they’re gone, you are all ours,”

“You fucking faggot, your going to love this”

“Your mouth is full of my cock just like you fucking love it”

“You really are a cock loving fag”

“Swallow it you whore”

You woke up shaking and with tears in your eyes. You started sniffling and sat up a bit, you turned your head a bit and tried desperately to read the time glowing on your clock. 

3:30 am

“Great” You mumble falling back into the pillows. 

To say that this was unusual wouldn’t be the exact truth, it was actually more normal then you care to admit. It was even worse when you were in the actual locker room. Luckily you got taken out of gym for that exact reason, first day back you had sobbed and screamed before fainting. It was awful and you rather not remember any of it. 

You couldn’t go back to sleep now, it was impossible. You glanced the clock again, 3:35 am. You sighed throwing your covers off before casually falling off the bed, you didn’t even acknowledge the pain that ran up your arm. When you were finally lying down completely on the floor you actually stood up. Walking towards the door you yawned, feeling a little dizzy. 

When you turned the light to the bathroom on you had to close your eyes and rest against the sink for a minute before finally opening your eyes. You looked exhausted you had bags under your eyes and acne on your right cheek. It wasn’t a very pretty sight. You ran a hand through your hair before turning the water to the shower on. You wish you could flash forward to a point in your life when everything made sense and you were happy, truly happy. Opening a drawer you pulled out the bag of flosses, you stuck your hand in and quickly found the cool metallic shape. 

You yawned again before you stripped and quickly got into the shower. 

“You fucking love it you faggot”

You were numb to the pain. The only time you flinched was when it crossed over other fresh cuts. Even then you would close your eyes and enjoy the sting you’ve grown so used to. This was bad, you needed to stop, and you needed help. None of this was normal you shouldn’t think this is normal.  
You bit your lip and let your head fall against the wall, when you opened your eyes again the water had gone cold. You winced only slightly when your skin tightened unpleasantly. Grabbing your towel you dried off deciding you needed to tell Jade, this has gone too far. 

You knew fairly well the way to Jades room and after quickly getting dressed you headed down the hall. You didn’t really want to impose on her at 4:15 in the morning but you know that she’d understand. You lifted your hand to the door and knocked. 

“Hey, uhm, Jade are you up?” You heard shuffling behind the door and took that as a sign to open it. 

“Sorry to impose at you” You say walking into her room then staring in complete shock, she held a razor and her legs were dripping blood. 

“J-John, I c-can explain” She said shoving her razor under the pillow next to her. 

You just shook your head and pulled up your sleeve, you watched silently as she covered her mouth with a hand, she glanced down at your legs and just hugged you. You hugged her back. You both really needed each other right now. 

“John why are we so fucked up” Jade said through her tears, gripping you tighter. 

“We aren’t fucked up Jade, the world is the one that’s fucked up, it gave us angst when we deserved joy.” Jade laughed a bit. 

“Quoting song lyrics now John, how classy of you” You let out a small chuckle. 

“It was either that or cheesy lines from tumblr,” Jade pulled you into the bed so you guys were no longer standing. 

“John why did we do that to ourselves, we are fucking golden yet we’re purposely painting ourselves black” You laughed and poked her, trying to keep the mood light. 

“Now whose the one quoting song lyrics” Jade just laughed, you could hear the sadness it was trying to mask.

“I can’t go back there John, that school, they just call me a slut and a whore, and he is no help, he just stands there telling anyone who listens how awful I was in bed despite the fact I never even slept with him. John I’m hated there, and I’ve been trying to deal with it but I fucking can’t anymore, I just can’t John” You calmly listen to Jade while coming your hands through her hair. 

“And every time I try and bring it up to Jake I freak out because he shouldn’t have to change his whole life just because I can’t take a few insults, I’m complete shit John, I don’t even understand how you even walk into school, I think you’re the strongest person I’ve ever met John, if Vinny had raped me… I don’t think I’d even be in the same state as him.” You tensed up, you didn’t like thinking of the rape you rather just push it down and bottle it up so you never have to deal with it. 

“Jade I’m going to tell you how I did it, I didn’t, I’m constantly upset, I ruin my skin, I ruin myself, I never get enough sleep, I rarely ever eat and I get nightmares every night where I see myself back in the locker room completely helpless just like before and the worst part is if I’m having an especially terrible night then I can practically taste them on my tongue, after that I go to the bathroom and throw up until there’s nothing in my stomach but bile. I’m not strong at all Jade, I sometimes wish I did switch schools but then it would start all over again. I’d have to explain it all to them because I don’t believe for a minute that none of those kids didn’t log onto Yahoo! Mail and see my bright smiling face followed by the line ‘Openly Gay Student Supposedly Raped by Multimillionaire Makara’s Son and Outstanding Business Man Ampora’s son’. I can’t go through with that right now when for the rest of my life this whole damn thing will follow me. Jade I’m a coward, I’m avoiding all my problems, you shouldn’t look at me as someone you wish you could be.” Jade was clutching you like she was afraid you would disappear.

“Let’s be cowards together,” Jade said closing her eyes and throwing the covers over both of you. 

“That’s the best thing I’ve heard tonight Jade Harley” You drifted off into a more peaceful sleep then before, in the back of your mind though the words still rang throughout your head, but now they were dulled significantly. 

When you and Jade woke up it was one in the afternoon and the sun was shining a bit to brightly for your liking. Groaning you shielded your eyes as best as you could. The conversation from last night still played in your head and you quickly got up to grab something from your room. You looked at Jade, still sleeping peacefully, the slightest frown was on her lips and it made you frown as well, even in her dreams she wasn’t happy.

Running to your room you grabbed the bottle off of your nightstand. You made a quick stop in the bathroom for a washcloth and cotton balls. Wetting the washcloth you quickly made your way back to Jades room. When you opened the door she was rubbing her eyes sleepily. 

“Oh, I thought you had left” Jade said grabbing her glasses off her nightstand so she could look at you properly.

“Nope just made a quick trip to grab you this, I don’t want any of your cuts getting infected” Jade turned red and found a sudden interest in the sheets. 

“Come one I’ll do it with you we can both be in pain” You say handing her the washcloth.

She very carefully dabbed at her scars, you only saw her wince once. When she put it to the side you poured some hydrogen peroxide onto a cotton ball and handed it to her, you got yourself a cotton ball and when you gave her an encouraging nod you both focused on cleaning every single cut on your skin. You had done this last night so it didn’t hurt as bad but it still hurt like shit. 

“Fuck” you heard Jade mutter under her breathe and you had to agree with her. 

When the grueling but necessary task was over you threw your cotton balls away and tossed the washcloth in some unknown part of the room. You and Jade re-arranged yourselves on the bed so now Jade was resting her head on your chest while you were sitting up against the headboard. 

“Movie time?” She asked you leaving the bed for a short period of time to grab the apple TV remote and the regular one. 

“You know it” You say playing with Jades hair when she came back onto the bed. 

“My choice first” She states giving you no room for an argument. 

She quickly selects Earth To Echo and you both find yourself relaxing and enjoying the kids movie. About 20 minutes in Jake appears with popcorn and sits down at the foot of the bed. He hands you the bowl and Jade asks him if he can go grab her some water. Jake of course says yes and announces he’ll be right back. 

“You should tell him that you want to go to a new school, he’d understand” You say grabbing some popcorn, trying a bit to hard to seem casual. 

“I know,” She says sighing sinking further into the bed. 

“Have you looked at another school you’d be interested in?” She nods but doesn’t say anything. 

“What school is it,” you say trying to push her to answer and talk about it. 

“It’s a boarding school, it’s still in Washington but it’s super nice but also hella expensive and I mean I could probably get in with a scholarship but if I didn’t then I’d have to ask Jake and he cant pay 10,000 dollars for my senior year” You try to hide your shock at the amount of money that school costs. 

“Why that one if it costs so much?” You ask and Jade rolls over so she’s looking at you instead of the now forgotten TV screen. 

“Because there is this unbelievable science program, which they only offer to seniors but it’s a forensic course but its hands on and they set up fake murders and body dumps and we get to ‘solve the crime’, it’s a class but its 3 hours long and after all your regular subjects. It would be amazing practice before I went to college and I’d learn more then I could ever learn in some boring classroom.” You have to admit that sounded cool and you weren’t even interested in Forensic Science, you like dealing with things that were alive. 

“Not only that but they have this amazing marine biology program and during spring break they choose the top 20 kids in the class and they get to go on a cruise where they get scuba certified and do a mini research project and get to see so many cool things, John that school is just amazing” Jade says her eyes held true passion. 

“It must be for 10,000 dollars” You scoff even though you were really interested in that cruise thing. 

“What must be for 10,000 dollars?” Jake says carrying 3 water bottles. 

You gladly accept one and look at Jade pointedly. Silently encouraging her to tell Jake. She makes a face at you before nodding her head. 

“Jake I have a question. I want to switch schools, I’m getting bullied a lot and harassed, but I’ve been looking and there’s this amazing school only 3 hours from us, it’s a boarding school and they have this amazing Forensic Science program I’m extremely interested in” Jade pinched at the inside of her arm nervously as she waited for Jakes answer. 

“Well of course! 10,000 dollars is nothing as long as your happy! Also who are the blasted demons making fun of you, why when we get back home I’m going to have some very strong words with, what’s the mates name? Oh yes! Vinny, that blasphemous devil! Also your principle, this harassment should be stopped at all costs, why just send me a link to that new school your interested in Jade, I’ll make sure you get in it by the time break ends!” Jake says grabbing his phone and leaving the room. 

“Hey look at that! You get to go and get a feel for the school before your big senior year plans” You say poking Jade who just has a goofy grin on her face. 

“This is amazing, John you have to come with me” Your smile falters, you knew she was going to ask this of you and you still haven’t decided how you were going to respond. 

“You know I might just take you up on that offer” You say not really sure if you were going to go especially after how you just turned your dad down for switching schools. 

“We’re going to rule this school! John do you know what this means!” Jade said excitedly. 

“What does this mean Jade?”

“We are going to be in the same school again!” You laugh and realize that actually sounds fucking perfect, no one at your old school wanted you there or liked you, and here Jade is perfectly willing to stick with you through all this shit. 

“Fuck yeah, I’m hyped”

On the plane ride home you and Jade were informed that despite Jakes passionate outburst you couldn’t get in until after Christmas break when the second semester started. An ‘easier transition’ your dad had said but you could tell he had wanted to get you in as soon as possible as well. Despite the setback you and Jade were hyped beyond belief. 

“Did you see their lab Jade? It was so new and high-tech! The Private schools lab couldn’t even touch it” You exclaimed as the plane took off. 

“Did you see the music room John, did you see that baby grand, it was stunning and the sunlight made it look majestic as fuck” Jade said scrolling through the pictures she had saved on her phone. 

“They even have a recording studio” You practically moan out, this school was better then most colleges you had looked at. 

“Oh my god John, I totally forgot to show you this, they have a swimming pool, a swimming pool! There is of course the one near the gym but there’s one purely for fun and not boring gym classes! John this school is amazing.”

“They have zip lining Jade, zip lining” You drag out the lining part and Jade giggles. You also hear Jane giggle and blush noticing just how loud you were. 

“This sounds more like a camp then a school” Jane says turning around to face you from the seat in front of you. 

“You have no clue,” Jade said showing Jane her phone. 

“Recreational pools, zip lining, horseback riding, capture the flag and so much more” Jade says scrolling through the pictures. 

“Yea when you get there they assign you a team and you do everything with that team, your team is assigned to the same dorm and on field trips you travel with them and during capture the flag you go against all the other teams leaving no mercy.” You make a ‘pew’ sounds as you punch your right fist into the seat softly.  
“Yea and if we’re lucky they’ll put John and us on the same team!” 

“We’d kick ass”

“Hell yea we would” You say and high fived Jade, each of you shared matching grins on your face. 

“Nerds” jade said teasingly before sitting back in her seat and going back to her book.

“Wanna watch a movie?” Jade asks and you nod, trying to calm down from the hype. You still had a month until you could go to the school, that’s a long time. 

You and Jade settle into your seat as Wolf of Wall Street starts playing. Just like last time this plane ride was going to be a long one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Funfact #4 Dave was supposed to show up in this chapter but then my mind was like nah fuck that lets prolong his entrence EVEN MORE THATS A WONDERFUL IDEA THANKS BRAIN


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to look inside my brain this is what you would see
> 
> AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHvvvHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHwheretfisdaveatyoHHHHHHHhhhhHHHHHHhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhwhyamiprolongingthisevenmorehhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Going back to school was just a glorious as you imagined and by that you mean it was just as awful as every other time. People seemed to have evolved from staring and whispering to just pretending you weren’t even there at all. Like you were invisible. At first it was nice but after about a week you were sick of it, Nepeta wouldn’t even let you borrow a pen, she didn’t even turn around or acknowledge you when you poked her because you thought she hadn’t heard you. She had. She didn’t care. 

Now you walked around the halls pissed off and unseen. Not even Kanaya waved back to you, this was bullshit. At least this was your last week at this damn school. Your dad already had all your records transferred and you were set up to start after Christmas Break along with Jade. You hadn’t told anyone, you had no one to tell, the one guy you did want to tell was a ghost in your old English room that was now permanently in repair and you had no idea why the fuck that was. Okay maybe you were just mad because now you’ll never talk to the ghost boy again and that made you pretty upset because he would have made the most amazing best friend in the world. 

You walked to your locker half hoping something would be stuck in it, maybe a good old’ glitter bomb, maybe a bunch of confetti, you didn’t know. You were severely disappointed when there was nothing in it. You don’t even know why, maybe it was because if they had pranked you it would let you know that you weren’t just invisible to all of them. You sighed and walked out to Callie’s car. You jumped in the passenger seat and exchanged greetings. 

“So your still invisible?” She said glancing over at you before focusing both eyes back on the road. 

“Yep, you know I keep thinking I should be happy about it but honestly it makes it worse, I cant even borrow a pencil from a person let alone hold a full on conversation.” Callie looked at you sympathetically. 

“Well you’ll be in a new school in no time and you can leave all their sorry asses in the dust.” You gave a small smile to Callie as she pulled into your driveway. 

“My brother is finally leaving so I have to close shop and drive him to the airport, I’ll see you tomorrow morning right? Gotta spend some time with me before you’re off to Washington for two years.”

“Aw, Callie don’t worry I’ll make sure to spend my last day with you” Callie just pushed on your shoulder and you both laughed. 

“Bye! See you later” you said getting out of the car.

“Bye John!” Callie said pulling out and driving away. 

You walked into the house and made a beeline for the kitchen. Opening the fridge you grabbed the milk and then moved to the cabinet pulling out a bowl. Then for your final move you went to the pantry and got out the cinnamon toast crunch. You let out a long drawn out yes before closing the pantry door and opening the box on your way to the counter where you had placed your bowl. You quickly poured the cereal in and then the milk, returning the milk to the fridge before getting a spoon. 

“Yesssssss” You said sticking the spoon into the bowl. 

You moved to the living room and turned on the TV, watching Law and Order: SVU. You started to eat your cereal, just chanting yes nonstop in your head. Your phone rings once and you answer it immediately. 

“I got it” Jade says and you know what she’s talking about. 

“I’m about to get the mail now” You say and you can hear shuffling on Jades side. 

“Hurry” She says and you take a bite of your cereal before heading outside to the mailbox. There it is, the letter. It’s in a navy blue envelope with silver calligraphy on the front. 

“I got it,” You say heading back inside. 

“Open it I want to see if we are on the same team” Jade whines in your ear and you just role your eyes. 

“This envelope is super pretty” You say, debating on tearing it open or carefully pulling it apart. 

“I know right, the green goes amazingly with that silver like hot damn” You furrowed your eyebrows together. 

“Green?” You say in confusion.

“Yes green, you said you got the letter right? You should know what I’m talking about” Jade said in a matter of fact tone. 

“Jade my letter is Blue” You say really confused as to what is happening at the moment. 

“Blue? Are you sure open it,”

“I know my colors Jade,” You say as you pull out the letter. 

You unfold it and look at the writing; it’s typed in times new roman. Some things never change. You read through it looking for what you want to know. 

“Congratulations John Egbert you have been accepted into our school blah blah blah, you can sign up for classes on our website blah blah blah your dorm is Dorm C and your room is 413, you will be assigned a roommate when you get here blah blah blah, your team is the mighty Labyrinth, you will be given more information on this when you arrive at school on January 3rd. School will resume on the 4th we are looking forward to your attendance. Did you get all that Jade?” You say taking a breath as you reach for your cereal bowl. 

“Yea I got it and we aren’t on the same team, I’m on team Novem” Jade says and you both sigh. 

“At least I’ll kill you in the end of school water balloon fight,” You say trying to lighten the mood. 

“Yea right I’m so going to kick your ass, Novem is going to crush your puny team to the ground” Jade says and makes sound effects with her mouth for added dramatics. 

“Yea right Labyrinth is way better then your team, we have a better standing so far this year, 2nd place, Novem is in 4th place, do you know what place that is Jade, Last place” You say teasing her. 

“Yea well that’s because I’m not there yet, watch me, I’m like Neville Longbottom, I’ll do something last minute that just pushes us into first place successfully crushing all the other useless teams.” You scoff. 

“I’m fucking Harry Potter bitch, I’ll beat your team by pulling ahead 50 points last minute making you puny Neville Longbottom act worthless.” 

You and Jade continue to argue about which team was better. One argument was t-shirt design, which they both had to admit Orcus had the better design then both your teams. Too soon Jade had to hang up and you were left alone. You watched a bit more of the show on TV before placing your bowl in the sink and heading upstairs taking the letter with you. Tomorrow was your last day at that damn school. In two days you’d be in New York at the Lalonde’s with Jade. You had already wrapped your presents, even Dave’s thanks to Jade telling you to. You sighed as you packed the wrapped up pair of shades, you wrapped it in such a way it just looked like a really tall soda can. Like a thick Arizona iced tea can. You really weren’t sure why you were packing it, tomorrow was your last day in LA before Christmas and Dave was stuck haunting a desk in an abandoned English room. This was a waste of your money. 

Jade had told you that it was perfectly reasonable and she’d fly back just to grab the glasses if I didn’t pack it so you took the safe bet and just stuck them in your suitcase, carefully of course those cost a lot of money. You pack a few more socks since you never seem to have any whenever you travel. After that you were pretty much done. You closed your suitcase and rolled it into the corner. 

At least you’d get to see Rose again on this trip, and make a quick 20 bucks on the side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter I PROMISE HE'll BE THERE GOOD GOD WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS BS IM EVEN GETTING TIRED OF WAITING FOR DAVE TO COME AND IM IN CHARGE OF THIS GOD DAMN MESS JFC
> 
> also sorry this is so short


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG OMG ITS DAVEEEEEE DAVVVVVVVVVVE, AHHHHH I SUCK AT WRITING

This is it, this is the day you and your dad fly to New York, this is the day you go and see the Lalonde’s. If your being honest with yourself your kind of scared, you’ve never met the last 2 of the Lalonde’s, Jake’s boyfriend Dirk and Dirk’s younger brother you can’t seem to remember the name of, if you were even told his name before. You probably were your just lazy and really bad at names. 

You were currently standing in the TSA pre-check line, immensely glad you don’t have to take your laptop out of your backpack, there is so much stuff shoved into it you doubt you could get it out without a full on avalanche on the conveyer belt. You smile nervously as you push your bag through, silently hoping you didn’t miss any metal objects, that one-day when you were little and accidently brought scissors still haunted you. You waited for the lady to tell you to walk through the metal detector and you did, it beeped and you froze in place staring open mouthed at your Dad. Did you have something in your pockets? Was it your belt? That’s crazy you aren’t wearing a belt. You stood in shock as another women told you to head to some other women a few feet away in her little corner with a huge machine. You walked over nervously not sure what it is you did exactly. 

“Hold your hands out, palms up” You do as she says and she rolls this stick with a ball at the end over your hands. 

You watched confused as she stuck it into the machine, you were worried she had found something even you didn’t know you had. The machine beeped and the lady waved me off. 

“Your good” She said and you went straight to your dad who held your bag out for you. 

“Dad, what was that, I didn’t do anything I swear” You say still anxious over the whole ordeal. 

“They were just checking for bomb residue don’t worry it’s completely random, you did nothing wrong” You breathed a sigh of relief. 

“Wait, so does that mean they thought I was a clapper,” You say your mind going into overdrive. 

“That depends what is a clapper?” Your dad says as he navigated you through the gates. 

“Its these people who get this surgery and they like make themselves explosive, its like suicide bombers except the trigger is in their hands, all they have to do is clap their hands then KABLOOM! Whole place up in flames, gone forever.” You say excitedly. 

“No John I don’t believe that’s what they have that there for, I’m also sure that clappers aren’t real,” You pout at that but don’t think too much about it. 

“Where do you want to eat? I know you didn’t eat any breakfast but it’s 10 so lunch food wouldn’t be out of the question.” Your dad says as you scan around the place. 

“I’ll just get Dunkin’ Donuts, we’ll be at Rose’s soon and according to her, her mother has not stopped cooking” Your dad made a face then dragged you towards a restraint with menus and waiters. 

“If Roxanne is cooking none of it is edible, eat as much as you can son, I won’t let you eat any of the poison she tries to sell off as food.” You giggled at your dads outrage but didn’t argue with him. You just picked up a menu and looked at your options. 

“Hello, what can I do for you today?” Some guy said smiling at both you and your dad. 

“Hello, I’d like some coffee, black please, and I’ll have a cheese omelet with 3 blueberry pancakes and turkey sausages with whole wheat toast on the side” Your dad wasn’t kidding about Roxanne’s cooking then if he really was ordering all that food. 

“Okay, whole wheat toast, got it, what about you sir?” You had to blink a couple times before realizing this guy was talking to you, not only that his tone implied he was flirting with you. 

“Oh, uhm, just a water please with the challah french toast, 3 pieces please” You say your voice sounding unusually small. 

“Okay is that all?” You and your dad nod your heads and the guy leaves winking at you before he does. 

“I think he likes you,” Your dad says chuckling. 

“Shut up, that was so embarrassing” You said burying your face into your hands. 

“He’s a decent young man, a bit old though, 19 is my guess, too old for you,” Your dad said, teasing you. 

“Exactly too old, plus who said I had any interest in him” You say a bit defensively.

“Your right he’s not your type” Your dad says which makes you even more defensive. 

“And how would you know that?” You say but go quiet as you see the server come back with your dad’s coffee and your water.   
“Here is your coffee and here is your water” You really just wanted to facepalm x5, why was this guy flirting with you, you were trash complete trash, and you didn’t even shower this morning!

“Your type is blonde and preferably the same height as you, he is not blonde and too tall for you” Your dad says mater of factly. 

You grind your teeth, “Wrong” You, say but its not convincing, even to your ears. 

“Just you wait, I know you son, and I know your type, I’ve seen your internet history” Your dad thinks he’s clever by taking a sip of his coffee to hide the smug smirk on his face. 

“Dad!” You say not knowing how to defend yourself in this situation. 

You chew on your straw angrily as you glare holes in your dad’s head. How did your dad even know your type, how’d he know that? You didn’t even really know that, I mean sure in the back of your mind you knew but you never flat out said it. This was so frustrating you can’t believe you were going to be with this man for 5 hours on a plane. 

The waiter came again carrying a tray full of food. 

“One cheese omelet with 3 blueberry pancakes, turkey sausage and whole wheat toast” He said placing the said items in front of your father. 

“And 3 pieces of challah french toast, enjoy” He said but his eyes were locked on yours, you were a little thankful he walked away. 

“You know you could do worse then him, he has a job, is decent looking” You glare at your dad. 

“Stop while you’re ahead” You say shoving a whole piece of french toast in your mouth to signal talking was over. 

Your dad just chuckled but didn’t argue with you. Your breakfast was eaten in silence and you occasionally caught the waiter eyeing you. Your dad wasn’t wrong he was kind of cute but again too old. When your dad asked for the bill and the waiter left to go swipe the credit card you stared at your napkin in shock. 

When he came back you grabbed you bag quickly and walked as fast as you could to your gate. Your dad chuckled but followed suit. 

“He gave you his number didn’t he” Your cheeks turned red and you just shoved the napkin at your dad. 

“Hey sweets when you land hmu, Oh young love” Your dad said reading the message out loud then adding his thoughts to it. 

“Dad, no, oh my god no, are you and Jade in on this, are you trying to help her win this bet, if so its not working” You say and sit down at your gate. 

“You and Jade have a bet? What about” You groan. 

“Jade bet me 20$ that I would have a boyfriend by Christmas and so far it looks like I’m going to be 20$ richer.” Your dad chuckles again. 

“Oh no I wasn’t aware, but let me join in, I also bet 20$ that you will have a boyfriend by or on Christmas, just call it a gut feeling” You just roll your eyes. 

“Whatever I never turn down free money,” you say not knowing what was in the water Jade and your dad drank. 

 

When the plane had landed you were groaning, Sum Of Our Parts was currently playing on your headphones and you felt like passing out yet it was only 4pm. Your phone was still on airplane mode and you know the only people who text you will see you in less then 5 minutes so it as pointless. 

“We are, we are more than our scars, we are, we are more than the sum of our parts,” You sing soundlessly as you walk through the hallways to the baggage claim. 

Your dad seemed flawless; his suit wasn’t even wrinkled from the 5 hours of constant sitting. You however had a crumpled hoodie with black skinny jeans that held on to the fluff of the airplane seat like a Swiffer duster holds onto dust. You cover your mouth as you yawn. Fumes by The Eden Project starts to play right when the conveyer belt can be seen, the luggage has yet to be loaded onto it. 

“John!” You hear Roxy before you see her; you almost knocked to the ground by the force of the hug. 

“Nice to see you too Roxy” You say laughing, out of the corner of your eye you see Jane hugging your dad. 

“Looking fine Mr. E” Roxy says slinging an arm around your shoulder. 

“Why thank you Roxy,” Your dad says smiling kindly at her. 

“Ew Rox don’t hit on my dad” Jane said giving you a tight hug. 

“It’s okay Janey, your finer in my eyes anyways” Roxy blows her a kiss and Jane just makes a face at her. 

“So I’m hoping Jane is the one who drove you here, and the one driving us back” Your dad said, real honest hope clear in his voice. 

“Yes dad trust me I would never let her drive, ever” Jane said directing the last ever at Roxy who smiled sheepishly. 

“Okay let John and I get our bags and then we can be off.” 

You don’t have to wait much longer before you see your bag come out onto the conveyer belt. You make a move to grab it and end up in between an elderly couple. It’s extremely awkward, even more awkward when you stick your arm out and your rainbow bracelet slips out from under your hoodie. 

“Those, gays they’re everywhere” The old lady says to her husband right before you quickly abscond. 

Your dad seems to already have his suitcase and you don’t even want to ask when he went to go get it. You all leave the airport and into to the cold New York weather, there is some snow on the ground but not even enough to make a complete layer. You follow Jane and Roxy to their car, which was parked quite a ways away. 

“Jeez why’d you park so far” You whine as you pass over the 3rd row of cars. 

“It was the only available spot, now quit your whining John” Jane said turning right and you saw her car. 

Jane took the keys out of her pocket and unlocked it the familiar beep beep reached your ears. She also unlocked the trunk, which your dad opened fully to place his bags in it. You handed him yours and he lifted it up with ease. You quickly climbed into the back your backpack still on your shoulders. Roxy climbed in next to you while Jane and your dad sat up front. 

“Ms. Lalonde ordered Chinese food after her 4th casserole burned to ashes.” Jane said, more to your dad then to you. 

“Oh thank god, he has spared us all today” Roxy and Jane both laughed. 

“I take it you’ve seen my moms cooking” Roxy said pulling out her phone. 

“Seen it, Smelled it, Tasted it, that women has no talent in the kitchen, it’s a miracle you kids survived” Your dad said shaking his head. 

“Take out food and a microwave Mr. E, that was until Rosy grew up and learned to cook, then she made us all sit at the table and try out all of her new meals, good cook.” Roxy said, typing away on her phone. 

“So dad when did you have Ms. Lalonde’s cooking?” Jane asked, casually prying for answers. 

“A long time ago, before you kids were born” Your dad says and makes it clear with his tone he’s not saying anything more. 

“Mysterious” You say and the whole car bursts out laughing.

“Hey, Janey turn the radio on it’s too quiet” Roxy says, leaning forward, probably a little upset she isn’t up front. 

“Kay give me a sec” Jane says as she pulls to a stop at a red light, she then presses a button and Bad Blood starts blaring through the speakers. 

Your dad is the one to turn it down to a non-ear bleeding level. You silently thank him as you turn up the volume on your headphones, Landfill was playing and no offense to Taylor Swift but this was more preferable. You only made it through another few songs before you were pulling into a driveway, a driveway of a fucking mansion. Your face must’ve shown your shock because Roxy laughed at you. 

“Bit of an overkill right? Mom always said, go big or go home, or in this case just big home.” You get out of the car and see the door open.

“Rose!” You say running up to her and hugging her. 

“I feel like I should be the one running up to hug you John” Rose says laughing. 

“Whatever Rose I just missed you a lot” You say hugging her again before letting go, “I have to grab my bag I’ll be right back” 

Your dad was getting the bags out of the back when you made it back to the car. You grabbed yours and didn’t try to hide the smile on your face, Jade was now outside next to Rose waving at you. You quickened your pace and let go of your suitcase so you could give her a proper hug. This was a great idea you really had missed both of them so much. 

“I’m so happy we’re all in one place again and in much better circumstances,” Jade said hugging you back.

“Me too” You say simply. 

“Come in John, I’ll show you to your room and I apologize in advance for your neighbor who wont get here until 8 o’clock, though, considering who he his I don’t think you’ll mind at all” Rose said a knowing smirk on her face. 

Jade also laughed which made you turn to star accusingly at her. Those two were up to something you just knew it. You didn’t voice your thoughts, you didn’t need to, one look at your face and you were read just as easily as an open book. Rose went up two flights of stairs before turning left and pointing to a door on her left. 

“This is your room, I hope it wont be too much trouble remembering it, if so my brother will gladly show you” That’s all Rose said before she dragged Jade and her laughter downstairs. 

You decided that for now it was best to ignore their weird antics and sum it up to them being weird. Opening your door you looked at the room, the walls were a deep blue and the bed was to the far right with a window right next to it. A desk rested right below the window and next to the bed, a doctor who lamp on it. You had to give whoever decorated the room 10 points for that, brilliant touch. The chair in front of the desk was a comfy looking office chair that you would love to spin in. To the left a bunch of box shelves in different shades of blue were nailed into the wall, miscellaneous items scattered on them, mainly books but a few snow globes. You moved towards the closet, which was also on the wall right next to you. The door was white and the closet was huge with a dresser on the side of it. You rolled your suitcase into the closet and just unzipped it. That was it, you weren’t going to unpack or anything because frankly that seemed like too much work and you did not sign up for that. 

You took your backpack off and placed it on the bed, unzipping it and watching the mini explosion that took place. Your blanket spilled out and a few books fell onto the bed. You grabbed your blanket and pulled it out, your wallet coming along with it. You threw your blanket onto the pillows and continued to empty the bag. Books, your computer, your DS, random chargers, a pair of underwear that you don’t even know how it got in your bag and a sock. You moved your computer to the desk and plugged it into the outlet below. You also plugged your phone charger in despite your phone not needing to be charged. You also grabbed your DS and put it on the desk. 

When your bed was clear of all the random stuff from your bag you threw the bag into the closet where you will most likely never see it again until next year. You collapse onto the now clean bed but feel unsatisfied. Grabbing your sock you walk out of the room, dropping the sock on the ground so you know which room is yours when you come back. After that’s done you go downstairs to the living room where Jane and Rose are sitting talking. 

“Hey guys!” You say taking a seat in one of the many couches. 

“Hey” They both say to you before giggling, god help me these guys were no help.

“Stop doing that” You say, your voice coming out more as whiney then you care to admit. 

“Okay John we’ll stop, Jane was just telling me about how you compared yourself to Harry Potter and I have to say I always pinged you as more of a Neville Longbottom.” You stood up before Rose even said Neville. 

“Nuh uh this conversation is over, where’s Jake?” You say directing the question at Jade who was currently laughing at you. 

“In the kitchen on the phone with his boyfriend, who will be here in like 3 hours, they should be on the plane by now though so the fact Jake is talking to him means Dirk is trying to be cool, poor—“ Rose covers Jade’s mouth completely ruining any chance you have at hearing the rest of Jades sentence. 

“You guys are awful and keeping secrets from me, I’m revoking our friendship cards” You say heading towards the kitchen. 

“John no don’t be that way,” Jade says from her spot next to Rose. 

“Revoked!” You shout without even turning around. 

“Yes, yes, see you soon, travel safely, text me when you land, I love you, bye love” Jake was saying as you entered the kitchen. 

“Oh hello John! I haven’t properly greeted you yet!” Jake pulled you into a huge bear hug and you found all your air leaving your lungs. 

“Nice to see you again too Jake” You say out of breath. 

“Before I was on the phone with Dirk I called the Chinese place, it should all be here in an hour! Want to watch a movie in the home theatre before that?” Jake asks but he had you sold at home theatre. 

“Yes, any movie of your choice just show me this theatre.” You followed Jake out of the kitchen and into yet another hallway with so many doors too choose from. Jake chose a door on the right however and you both walked into a mini movie theatre. It was amazing. 

“Lets see if I left it in the same place I did last time I was here and yes! Yes I did, here it is!” Jake says holding up the DVD of Avatar for you to see. 

Your too busy checking out the seats and screen to see how Jake starts the projector, all you know is you’re in heaven. You know you and Jake wont finish this movie, even though it is a great movie because just like you Jake has impeccable movie taste. The movie however is almost 3 hours long and you only have about an hour until the food comes. You sit back and watch the movie, more focused on how amazing the theatre surround sound was and how great the projector quality was. This house was truly life goals. 

Too soon the doorbell rang and you and Jake both bolted up, you both gave one look at each other before bolting off, racing for the door. Jake has the advantage of knowing the place but with the way he’s sliding all over the floor you might just have a chance. You’re in the kitchen when both you and Jake stop, Rose is taking the huge bag of food from the guy and paying him. 

“Foods ready” Rose says barely even registering Jakes look of severe disappointment that is also mirrored on your face. 

“Oh yes, I’m starving” Roxy says appearing out of practically nowhere. 

“Me too” Jade said as she helped Rose pull out all the containers. 

“We talked to them about your peanut allergy John, so anything with a black X on it is safe to eat,” Jake said reaching for one of your no peanut dishes. 

The six of you ate peacefully, How I Met Your Mother was playing in the background and you made sure everyone knew how awful of an ending that show had. Everyone agreed with you except for Jade who had apparently wanted Robin and Ted together from the beginning. You had promptly revoked your friendship card again. At around 7 Jake left to go to the airport and you were left with the girls and they just all stared at you. 

“What? Do I have something on my face? Is there food stuck in my teeth?” You say, putting a hand in front of your mouth in case that was it. 

“John you can’t be in this room when they get back” Roxy says, her voice deadly serious. 

“What? Why not I haven’t met your brothers yet” You say really confused. 

“John trust me you will not be in this room when they come home, go upstairs and freshen up” Jane said also completely serious, what was going on here?

“What? Why” You say still so lost. 

“Just come with me John” You weren’t given an actual choice to go or not because Jade had a death grip on your arm and was dragging you up the stairs. 

“Jade seriously what is going on” You ask desperate for answers. 

“You’ll know soon enough, now grab your toothbrush and toothpaste and brush your teeth” You figure it’s best not to ponder over her weird demands and just go with it. 

You shoot her a look before grabbing your toothbrush from your suitcase. Jade watched you like a hawk as you walked to the bathroom across the hall. You decided to stare back at her while you brush your teeth to try and make her feel awkward and drop this act. It didn’t work it had failed, at least your mouth smelled minty green.

“Take that hoodie off, put on a plain white shirt” You followed her instructions still really unsure why this is happening. 

“Jade are you going to tell me why I’m doing this yet?”

“No”

“Oh, okay that’s cool” You say even though it’s so not cool, the complete opposite of cool. 

“Now remember that zip up hoodie I got you on your birthday?” You nod your head. 

“Go get it and put it on” Jade said crossing her arms. 

“What, how do you even know I brought it? Plus I legit just took a hoodie off” Now your starting to get ticked off. 

“You love me I know you brought it now go get it, because your going to leave it unzipped” Jade said like it was so obvious. 

You groan and drag you feet as you go to your closet once again and dig out the said article of clothing. You hold it and lamely walk towards Jade and drop it on her. You stick your tongue out in defiance at her. 

“I don’t want to do this,” You say to her like a child. 

“This isn’t an option John trust me you’ll thank me later just put it on” You stuck your tongue out again. 

“Your not my mom” You say and Jade lets out an exasperated sigh. 

“Oh my fuck! John, just put on the damn jacket then we can go back downstairs.” Jade said throwing the said article of clothing at your head. 

You catch it and make a huge scene of putting it on, even going as far as pretending your arms have been paralyzed. Jade was only somewhat amused, not enough to tell you what was going on though so the whole mission was basically a fail. 

“Good finally, now come over here your hair is a mess” Jade said running her hands through your hair until she was satisfied, right after she left your hair alone you ran a hand through it making her let out a tiny scream in frustration. 

“I’m doing this for you asshole, I expect to be paid after this, my services are not free John” You roll your eyes, now she’s being the dramatic one. 

“Jade! They’re here!” Roxy called up the stairs.

“Okay! I’m ready” Jade called back down. 

“What is going on I’m so confused Jade please explain this isn’t funny,” You said, you were not above begging at this point. 

“John literally wait 5 minutes or I swear to god I’ll throw you out a window” You backed off immediately. 

“Okay, sorry, jeez didn’t know it was that serious” You say holding your hands up in defense. 

“Shh!” Jade says as the door opens. 

“So what the fuck is so important you wouldn’t tell me for weeks Bro, I couldn’t even squeeze it out of English so it must be hella important” A voice you don’t recognize says. 

“Calm down you ungrateful little brat we just walked in to the damn house” Apparently that was everyone’s cue to greet him downstairs. 

“Hey isn’t Harley here? Where is she?” The voice asks again after the initial excitement wore down, it was weird how Roxy didn’t yell any names, you really didn’t want to meet the kid and be like ‘uh hello I’m staying in your house and I don’t even know your name’ because that would be super weird.

“Come on John” Jade says walking you down stairs. 

“She’s upstairs, why, am I not enough for you anymore” You could hear the pout in Roxy’s voice. 

“No Rox your always worth the visit”

“Aww that’s so sweet—“  
“Dave” You say stopping at the entrance way to the living room. 

“Dave Strider” You say again as you stare at the boy with triangle shades you thought was a ghost. 

“Dave” You said again and you could hear the muffled laughter of the other people in the room. 

“Do I know you?” Dave said, his face stoic and impassive. 

“English room 111, the desk” You say suddenly very self conscious about this whole situation, what if it wasn’t him, what if Dave Strider was just a figment of your imagination. 

“I’m sorry I don’t know what you—“ You watch as Dirk slaps him on the head, “ow, bro, not cool” Dave said rubbing his head. 

“Your going to make the poor kid have a panic attack you idiot” Dave glared at his older brother from behind his shades before turning towards you and giving you a nervous chuckle. 

“Hey Egbert, sorry I freaked you out there it was totally not my intention.” That’s all you needed to hear, he said your name. 

You rushed forward and hugged him, throwing him off balance. Luckily Dave was strong enough to keep both of you from face planting on the floor. You hugged him tightly, afraid if you loosened your grip he’d disappear on you. Dave hugged you back after the initial shock and it felt really nice. 

“I don’t care Dave, your real that’s all I care about” You whisper into his neck so only Dave can hear you. 

“Good because freaking you out was totally my intention” You could feel his breath on your neck as he let out a small chuckle. 

“You’re a dick Dave,” You say pulling back until he could see your pouting face. 

“Addicted to you” Dave shot back and you laughed. 

“Smooth” You say rolling your eyes at him.

“As smooth as water on a calm summer eves day” Dave said drawing out a thick Texan accent that sounded kind of charming. 

“You have an accent” You say your fingers coming up to touch his lips.

Your zoning out as you place your finger on Dave’s lip, you trace the slightly chapped surface of his lips, feeling the bumps and curves. You couldn’t see Dave’s eyes but right now you didn’t care, all that mattered was Dave. Though you didn’t know if this was too forward. Was this too forward? You jumped back a bit and saw a subtle twitch from Dave. 

“I’m sorry, it’s just, I got lost, wait no that sounds bad I mean, I zoned out and I wasn’t really here I mean I was here but I wasn’t actually here please tell me I’m making sense” You say looking up into his eyes pleadingly. 

“You make sense, don’t worry, it’s okay John, everything is okay, you did nothing wrong” Dave pulled you into a reassuring hug and you breathed out a sigh of relief. 

“Good, I just really don’t want to ruin this” You let your head rest against his shoulder as you both start to slightly sway. 

“John I’m going to tell you this one time and if this ruins anything you have my sincerest apologies.” You took a step back from Dave and nodded when you wanted him to start. 

“I really fucking like you, like a lot, I like like you John, ever since you harry pottered your way into my heart and those conversations we held, literally the only thing that made me wake up for first period was you and I didn’t realize how much I truly had fallen for you until you stopped responding one day, my heart literally broke, and then I was like you know maybe he’s sick Dave you can’t blame the kid for being sick, but then you never came back and I missed talking to you, I mean yea I had other people to talk to but fuck you were the only person I wanted to talk to, man I even went out and got you a Christmas present since you said you had gotten me one like I’m super deep in homo love with you Jonathan Egbert and your gorgeous and fuck your eyes, I’m drowning John, I need you to throw me my floaties so I can float in those suckers for days, John seriously where are my floaties—“ You cut off his rambling the only way you think of at the moment, you kiss him. 

When Dave starts to respond you pull away, smirking at the shocked expression on his usually stoic face. You hear Dave mutter a few words under his breath before actually looking at you.

“My name isn’t Jonathan, David,” You say with a smug smirk resting on your face. 

“Your right it’s tease because you a fucking tease” Dave says and you laugh as you avoid his kiss by turning your head, causing him to kiss your cheek instead. 

“Wait where is everyone?” You say actually looking at something other then Dave. 

“They all left when you started getting handsy” Dave teases and red rushes to your cheeks. 

“I was not handsy!” you say in defense and Dave just laughs. 

“So John Egbert will you do me the honor of going out with me?” You eyes lit up but then you remembered the bet, and Jade and your dad. 

“Here’s the thing,” You say clasping your hands together. 

“I have this bet with Jade and my Dad that I wont get a boyfriend before Christmas. I get 40 bucks if I don’t have one so you see, I don’t exactly have 40 bucks to pay them if I lose” Dave is smiling, you weren’t expecting that. 

“Say no more, Egbert, operation get you rich is in play, but don’t think us not dating is going to stop me from doing this.” Dave wraps his arms around your waist and pulls him to you, smirking before placing his lips on yours. He’s gentle and kind about it and unlike you doesn’t stop when you respond. 

Dave tastes like apple juice and tangerines. Your losing yourself in the, kiss, melting into Dave. When you try to take control over the kiss Dave steps back grinning, looking fully composed unlike you over here with jelly legs. You pout but Dave just gives you a small peck before heading upstairs. 

“Tease” You, mutter but somehow Dave heard you. 

“You know it babe, see you tomorrow” You groan as you drag your feet back to your room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please forgive me (theoretical) father for I have sinned
> 
>  
> 
> (I also second guess myself so much when I write Dave because how i text irl is how Dave texts and stuff but I can't ever seem to write theoretical conversations with myself so I apologize)


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tbh I fucked up my sleep schedule big time, I don't go to bed until 5 or 8 am and wake up at like 4 pm, I have like a week to fix this before school starts, but luckily my time awake leaves tons of time for undisturbed writing.
> 
> I also have cheer practice at 9 am tomorrow and I'm going to be dead because Im gonna get no sleep.

When you wake up the next morning the first thing you do is bury your head into the pillow and scream. 

Dave Strider is real.

Dave Strider is real and you touched him.

Dave Strider is real and you kissed him.

Dave Strider is real and you turned him down.

It seemed like a good idea, plus Christmas was only a few days away. You’ve gone your whole life without a boyfriend a few more days wouldn’t hurt. How wrong you were, all you wanted was to touch every inch of skin on Dave and kiss him whenever and hold his hand and watch movies with him and cuddle. Now you had to be next to him everyday, knowing that you couldn’t show any sign of attraction until Christmas was over. Your pretty lucky Dave took it so well though, even sounding enthusiastic to help you win the bet.

“…don’t think us not dating is going to stop me from doing this.”

You try and bury your head deeper into the pillows, hoping that they would take you as one of their own and you wouldn’t have to face anyone today. Strangely enough it didn’t happen and you were still John Egbert, non-pillow person and right now you really needed a shower. Groaning as you got out of bed you made your way out of the room and into the bathroom. 

You didn’t spend to much time in their feeling extremely light headed, you should really get a glass of water right after you got dressed. Running a hand through your now wet hair you wrapped the towel around your waist and yawned as you opened the door. 

You didn’t immediately see him, you didn’t even sense he was there. However when your eyes focused Dave Strider was leaning on the wall that separated his and your room. He had his signature smirk on his face and was shamelessly looking you over. You silently thanked your past self for not cutting on your arms, that would’ve made this awkward, not that it wasn’t already awkward. 

“Scandalous” Dave said pushing off the wall and heading downstairs. 

You just stared, completely shocked before running to your room and slamming the door shut behind you. You made sure it was closed before you went into the closet and quickly pulled on whatever you could reach to. When you were still pulling your shirt over your head you also started searching for a pair of socks to put on, this resulted in a full on avalanche of clothes. When you did find a pair you didn’t even bother doing any damage control, meaning when you closed your closet door the closet was left looking like a mini tornado had just came through it. 

You made yourself calm down as you walked downstairs, as far as Jade knows and your dad knows your single, which is true, you are not dating Dave. Not yet anyways. You were winning.

When you got to the living room it was surprisingly empty despite the TV being turned on. You hear voices coming from the kitchen though, mainly Jakes. You don’t really catch on to anything he’s saying because he’s talking super fast and he’s kind of far. You follow it though and see him talking animatedly to Dirk, who is wearing those stupid anime shades like Dave. Why are they always wearing them? You add that to your mental list of things to ask Dave. 

Dirk notices you before Jake does and turns away from Jake for a minute to grab you a plate. You watch as Dirk puts 2 slices of toast in the toaster and puts the eggs he had made previously on to your plate. All the while still acknowledging Jake and even adding in his own comments on the impossible to follow story. When the toast pops up Dirk sprays butter on it before handing you a plate and a fork. 

“Thanks” You say, not really sure what just happened. 

“Oh John! I’m so sorry mate I didn’t see you come in!” Jake said pausing in his story. 

“It’s cool, anyways I’m going to leave now, thanks for breakfast Dirk” You say smiling as you tried to exit the room and go to the dining room. 

“Call me Bro” Dirk says smirking at you. 

“Ah, uh, okay, thanks Bro” You say and abscond as quickly as possible. 

When you get to the dining room you realize your never going to get out of talking in this house. Dave isn’t there which leads to the question of where he is. It’s a big house though so you don’t ponder over it too long. Jade however is there, and so is Roxy, both pausing in their conversation to look at you as take a seat across from them. 

“Sooooooooo” Roxy said taking the hand holding her fork and resting her face on it. 

“Are you and Davey like a thing now” You really should’ve expected this. 

“N-no” You say doing a horrible job at not blushing. 

“So you aren’t dating him” Jade said, staring at you, trying to figure out if you were going to lie or not.  
“No we aren’t dating” That luckily wasn’t a lie and Jade saw that, you didn’t miss the look of disappointment on her face. 

“So you and brother aren’t fucking” You jump as you notice Dirk, Bro, whatever his name is sitting next to you. 

“Don’t be so crass Dirk” Jake said slapping Jake lightly on the arm. 

Dirk shrugged it off and turned back to face you, he looked so intimidating you felt like curling up into a ball and disappearing forever. 

“N-no Dave and I aren’t fucking” You say the last part in a whisper a little ashamed you couldn’t say the word ‘fucking’ in a normal tone. 

“But that’s his shirt” Dirk said and you saw the smug smirk on his face and Roxy’s hands lifting your shirt up so she could see it. 

“Oh em gee, this is his, you lied to me John” Roxy pouted and you honestly had no words. 

“No, no, it can’t be I grabbed this from my suitcase, Dave’s never even been in my room, nor have I been in his.” The words rush out of your mouth, trying to defend yourself and prove there’s nothing going on between you and Dave. 

“So you lied you and Dave are dating” Jade said accusingly. 

“What? No! Jade I didn’t lie we aren’t dating” You say pleading with her to believe you since it was the truth. 

“So you’re just fucking my brother for shits and giggles.” Bro says and you panic. 

“What? No! I’m not doing that either I’m not doing anything, I don’t know how I have Dave’s shirt on” You say, desperate for even just one person to believe you. 

You glance at Jake who gives you a pitiful smile. 

“Sorry mate, but I think your not being truthful either” You groan and stand up. 

“Fuck all of you” You say knowing exactly where Dave is now. 

You leave the room and hear their laughs follow you to the stairs. You run up them, your super pissed. You passed Dave’s door and opened yours instead because despite the music coming from his you knew exactly where he was. 

“You’re a dick” You say before you even fully open the door. 

“Well hello to you to sunshine” Dave says, his shades resting on his face and a smug smirk you want to rip off. 

“You could’ve at least been there with me, I went down to have a good time and I’m honestly feeling so attacked right now.” You say glaring at him. 

“Don’t meme at me Egbert” Dave said standing up. 

“Your not my dad” You say staring at Dave defiantly. 

“Didn’t peg you as a guy with a Daddy kink” Dave says coming to stand in front of you. 

“Ew Dave gross, that’s not what I meant and you know it” You say screwing your face up at the thought. 

“Should I start saying cheesy daddy dom lines from tumblr” Dave says smirking. 

“Please don’t” You say going as far as shoving your hands over his mouth. 

Dave just licks the palm of your hand until you finally relent and take it off his mouth. You stare at your hand in disgust and wipe it off on the shirt Dave’s currently wearing. 

“It’s okay princess your daddy is always here for you” You just stare at him like he grew two heads and pushed him so you could reach for a pillow to throw at his stupid face. 

“Dave! I said no stop I do not have a daddy kink!” You grab another pillow and repeatedly hit him with it until all Dave can do is defend himself and laugh. 

“Okay, Okay John, you’re right, I’ll stop, besides I’m the princess in this relationship” You roll your eyes but stop hitting him. 

“Now come down here and give your princess a kiss” Dave said reaching out towards you.

“Your so needy” You say rolling your eyes but laying down on top of him so you could kiss him. 

It was amazing, you’d be lying if you said you weren’t hoping this would happen, you did sort of come here looking to kiss him, mainly to yell at him for setting you up, but also the kissing. You were the one to deepen the kiss this time and found yourself straddling Dave’s hips as you continued kissing him. He still tasted like apple juice and tangerines, it was intoxicating. Dave’s hands moved your shirt up your hips a bit and suddenly his cold hands were touching your warm skin. It was seriously getting hard to concentrate as Dave moved his hands all over your chest, mapping out every single inch of skin.

“See I knew they were fucking” You accidently bite down too hard on Dave’s lip and the taste of iron rushes over your taste buds. 

“Fucking, hell bro, can’t you see I’m busy here” Dave says from the floor, keeping his hands on your hips. 

“Oh I can see quite well Dave, thanks for being concerned about my eyesight though” Bro grins and Dave reaches for the pillow nearest him, aiming it as best as he can from the his position. 

It doesn’t hit Bro but it does get him to shut the door and leave. Your too stunned to speak, Bro just caught you and Dave making out on the floor of your room. Dave just had a conversation with Bro while you were over here straddling him. You just stare at the door, zoning out, trying to figure out how you’ll ever look at Bro without turning 50 shades of red. Dave’s hands find your face, guiding it so that you were looking at him instead. 

“You okay?” He said and you could see the cut on his lip, the cut you made. 

“Yea, sorry about that,” you say pointing at his lip. “I didn’t mean to bite you” Your face was red, you could feel the hear radiating off of it. 

“It’s cool, I don’t mind, I like it” You turn even a darker shade of red and stare down at Dave’s shirt. 

“Come on bro, lets go get some water, Bro totally killed the mood, I guess its payback for all the times I barged in on him and English.” You carefully get off Dave and stand up, holding out a hand so you could help him up. 

Dave takes the hand you offered and didn’t let go of it even when he stood up. He flashes you a smile and you decide you want to see that smile every single day for the rest of your life. Instead of taking you down to the kitchen for water, Dave makes detour and leads you to a random door. 

Without knocking Dave opens the door and walks in pulling you with him. Your face turns red immediately. Jake was currently shirtless and Bro was in the midst of taking his off. You stared at Dave who looked unfazed, this is probably not the first time he walked in on them like this. 

“Bro did you gain weight? Your love handles seem to be getting a bit too much love” Dave says smirking. 

Jake stares at Dave with a look of shock before Bro grabs the pillow from behind him and aims it straight for Dave’s face. 

“After this lil’man you are dead,” Dave just laughs as another pillow is hurled at him. 

Your eyes were wide in shock as Dave dragged you through the hallways and down the staircase until you were in the kitchen. You gladly accepted the water he gave you and downed the whole thing at once. 

“You know D-Bro seemed really upset” You say to Dave once you place your glass on the counter. 

“He’ll get over it, don’t be scared if I come back in a few hours hella sore with random bruises.” You just gape at him. 

“Dave what are you saying” You say worried that Bro might be abusing him. 

“It means the kid is gonna get his ass beat in a strife” Bro says with Jake in tow. 

“Did you come to fast bro? It’s okay your getting old so premature ej—“ 

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence” Bro says and it isn’t until you notice the sword resting at Dave’s throat do you start freaking out, you look at Jake who looks like this was nothing new, meaning it probably wasn’t. 

Bro threw Dave a sword and Dave caught it, calmly moving the blade at his throat to the side. He gave you a quick kiss before he was gone. You didn’t even have time to say ‘bye’ before both Striders had disappeared. You stared at Jake mouth agape and your mind listing a thousand questions all at once. 

“Don’t worry mate, they just popped out to do some good ol’ sword fighting. It’s completely normal” Jake smiled at you and you couldn’t believe what you were hearing. 

“So I take it they sword fight often” you say not sure how to process that. 

“It’s a Striders way of dealing with stress or anger or any feelings really. I used to have to strife Dirk to get anything of sustenance out of him” Jake said a wistful look in his eyes. 

“Isn’t that dangerous?” You say not really worried about Dave, but about the whole concept of it in general. 

“Yes, but fisticuffs is just as dangerous as well, plus Dirk knows what he’s doing and would never seriously hurt Dave and Dave wouldn’t seriously hurt Dirk either no matter how angry either of them were at each other.  
“But fisticuffs is just a more extreme way of wrestling, they are using actual swords that can cut you, that are designed to cut you” You say thinking of how Dave could come back with a gash in his leg. 

“They usually never take it to the point of drawing blood, the aim is to never hurt the other its to get the other to surrender, so only in extreme cases do they cut each other, I think the last time it happened Dave had actually won surprisingly and Dirk was too stubborn to surrender, had a nasty gash on his face for weeks”

You had to admit it sounded safe, as safe as it could be. Also they weren’t actually trying to hurt each other so they should be safe. You don’t know how you stand with all of it but you just nod when Jake suggests watching National Treasure while waiting for them to come back. 

Two hours later Bro walks in with a smug look on his face. 

Fifteen minutes later Dave walks in collapsing onto you, a single cut on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on tumblr: [turntechbio](http://turntechbio.tumblr.com/)


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry i've been consumed in 7 hour cheer practices for 3 days and today was my first day off and I'm seeing a movie with a friend soon so I just wanted to get this out before that because I feel i cheated you guys by not updating anything in forever so here it is

“Dave! There’s a letter here for you!” Roxy’s voice rings out and Dave groans beside you.

You let him out of bed and watch as he throws a shirt, probably one of yours, over his head. You try not to stare as he walks out of the room to get the said letter from Roxy. You move a bit to left, the bed still warm from Dave. It had been a few days since Bro walked in on you and Dave making out. That’s really all you guys ever did, you and Dave have never taken it to the next level for many reasons, the main one being you weren’t even dating yet.

“Look at how fancy this is Egbert” Dave didn’t have his shades on, after you saw his eyes you demanded he never wear them when it was just you two, after some pretty solid convincing he had agreed.

“Gold calligraphy and shit, damn I don’t even know what this is for” You examined the said envelope which was two shades darker then his eyes, he was right the envelope was really fancy.

“Maybe Santa got your letter and wrote back saying that naughty boys only get coal on Christmas” You say and Dave cracks a smile as he falls back in bed.

“Oh yes, daddy, I’ve been such a naught boy, please punish me” You grab your pillow and shove it in his face.

“Just open the letter” You say and Dave does, he rips it right open and tosses it on your floor.

“Congratulations Dave Strider you have been accepted into our school blah blah blah, you can sign up for classes on our website blah blah blah your dorm is Dorm A and your room is 111, you will be assigned a roommate when you get here blah blah blah, your team is the deadly Orcus, you will be given more information on this when you arrive at school on January 3rd. School will resume on the 4th we are looking forward to your attendance.” Wait, that sounded very familiar, was Dave going to the same school you were?

“Wait let me see that” you said grabbing the paper form his hands and sitting up against the headboard.

“We are going to the same school” You say reading over the letter again to make sure this was real.

“Sweet, Rox said she signed me up for school makes sense she signed me up to the school your going to” Dave sat up as well and took the paper back placing it on his nightstand.

“I thought she signed you up for my old school, I didn’t know she signed you up for my new one” It made sense though, what happened to you could very well happen to Dave though you doubt that, Dave’s pretty cool.

“Apparently not and why would she sign me up for your old school? Is your old school better in test scores or something?” You bit your lip, you knew Dave didn’t know and you didn’t want to tell him.

“No, my old school was pretty shit I just assumed she didn’t want to go through the whole process again” Dave shrugged and pulled you into a kiss.

“Go brush your teeth Dave, you have really bad morning breath” You say pushing him away with a playful smile on your face.

“You hurt me John Egbert” He said clutching his heart and gasping in fake agony.

“Whatever if you don’t I’ll take a shower and then you have to deal with being hyper aware of your bad breath for like an hour” You said standing up, planning to stay true to your promise.

“Or…” Dave said rolling his eyes, “You and I could take that hour long shower together and I can brush my teeth while the water warms up”

You’d be lying if you said you didn’t seriously consider his words. You also knew there was no possible way that was happening, not when you still had scars on your legs. You may have been clean for a week but that didn’t mean your skin was. You watched Dave come over to you and just hold you.

“No, Dave we aren’t even dating” you say smirking up at him.

“And whose fault would that be” Dave says looking at you accusingly.

“Jades, now you can either come in the bathroom but stay out of the shower or stay in here, alone with your bad smelling breath” Dave smiled, you knew which one he was going to choose.

“Do you know what that whole team thing is about” It takes you a moment before you realize what he’s talking about.

“Oh that, their like the Hogwarts houses I guess, from what I read it sounds like a modern day muggle Hogwarts.” You take your shirt off as you turn the water on, Dave just hops up to sit on the sink.

“That’s cool, but why does my team name gotta be Orcus, it sounds like were Orcas and even though I’m killer, I’m no whale” You roll your eyes and throw your shirt at his face.

“I think it means like death or dead in greek or latin I don’t know, I didn’t name it, turn around.” Dave swivels on the sink until his feet rest in the actual sink part.

You quickly test the water before taking off the rest of your attire. You quickly jump in and can hear Dave move back to his regular position over the sound of the water hitting the tile.

“So what’s your team then?” You gather some shampoo in your hand before answering.

“Labyrinth, Jades is Novem” Dave scoffed as you massaged the shampoo into your hair.

“Who was the idiot who came up with these cheap ass names” You hummed in agreement, not wanting to get water or soap in your mouth.

“You know it’s funny that I got room 111” Your currently rubbing conditioner in your hair.

“How so” You say not really paying all that much attention.

“Well because of how we met you know, the whole desk situation, both our rooms were 111” You stopped what you had been doing and just let the water hit your chest, Dave was right, it seemed like decades ago that your only way to talk to Dave was through that desk in your English class.

“Both English classrooms too” You say filling the silence.

“You know after a week when you stopped responding I thought maybe the janitor or something had switched desks during cleaning one night, I wrote on every single desk in that room trying to figure out where you were, I even googled you, only came up with a Facebook page but I didn’t click on it because it looked fake, who uses a person covered in paint as a profile pic? Fakes, that’s who” You dropped the bottle of body wash you had been holding.

“You okay John?” Dave said and you heard him get off the sink, you stared down at your thighs as it all came rushing to you.

You were going to be sick, your felt your throat close up and you shut your eyes tightly trying to rid yourself of the feeling. You slowly calmed yourself down and regained control of your breathing. You ignored the bitter taste of bile that lingered in the back of your mouth and lifted your head up, ignoring the water that got into your eyes.

“Yea, I-I’m fine” you say quickly picking the body wash back up and pouring some out onto your hand.

“You sure you sound shaken up?” You shook your head before you remembered Dave couldn’t see you.

“No, I’m fine really, hey Dave how did that desk thing work anyways” You say trying to avoid any potential hurtful subjects.

“I don’t know man beats me, I was hoping you had found out, or that you were a wizard looking for guys but were too cool for Grindr” You rolled your eyes and if you could would gently shove Dave for the comment.

“But seriously Dave, now I’m really curious, did you put your soul in it? Splitting your soul is bad Dave, I wont be mad at you if you did, just disappointed.” Dave scoffs from behind the shower curtain.

“John we both know I have no soul” You both laugh the fall into a comfortable silence.

The desk was really a universal phenomenon; you really had no clue how it had worked. You were just extremely grateful it did work because without it, you doubt you’d be where you are today. You wouldn’t be in a shower with a guy who is potentially going to be your boyfriend right behind a thin curtain. You probably wouldn’t even be talking to Dave if you hadn’t first started talking to him through the desk.

You hear the sink turn on and feel the water pressure vary slightly. You peek your head out of the side and see Dave applying toothpaste very liberally onto his toothbrush. You watch as he turns around and grins at you, a bit of toothpaste falling onto ~~your~~ his shirt. You just roll your eyes and smile at him before you let the water, fall over you one last time before shutting it off.

Dave is still brushing his teeth when you reach for your towel. When you step out of the shower he’s rinsing his mouth with water. You wait for him to finish, grabbing your discarded clothes as you do. When you hear the clink clink of the toothbrush being put back in its cup you smile at Dave who opens the door, bowing down as you walk past him. You make sure to courtesy before walking through the doorway, silently holding in your laughter at the ridiculousness of it all.

“Meet me in 10 minutes in the game room okay?” Dave says as you both stand in front of your door, you feel slightly embarrassed being in only a towel and holding a pile of dirty clothes in one hand but the rational part of you know Dave doesn’t care and you shouldn’t worry about it at all.

“Yea, okay, I’ll be there soon,” You say opening the door to your room.  
“See ya babe,” Dave said leaning in as if to kiss you but flash stepping downstairs just as you begin to close your eyes and lean in as well.

“God damnit ugh that fucking douche nozzle” You say pulling up at your hair causing it to stick up at a few weird angles.

You waste no time getting dressed, throwing on one of your shirts, not Dave’s because he’s a dick. When you’re fully dressed you spend a few minutes running your hand through your still wet hair, unlike Dave you didn’t blow-dry your hair to look fabulous, it just happened naturally. Okay maybe you were over doing it. You still looked terrible, sad and tired.

Despite these past few days being the literal best you were still unable to get over what had happened before all this, everyone at that school still had such a huge hold over you and you hated it. You wanted to be free form everything that had happened this year and just have a fresh start, one where tiny white scars weren’t permanently on your shoulder, one where your legs didn’t look like a child’s scribbles. You wanted a life where every time you look yourself up on google there isn’t multiple news articles highlighting the events from your trial. You wanted to be able to fall asleep without remembering how your arms ached in Equius’ hold.

You placed your hands on your desk, holding onto the edge, trying to collect yourself. You needed to go meet up with Dave, you couldn’t show up with your eyes and face red and puffy from crying. That would lead to all the questions you don’t want to have to answer, not yet anyways. You drag a finger across the bottom of your eye, successfully drying your eyes.

Without a second thought you head downstairs to the game room where Dave is sitting on his red beanbag, golden controller in his hand. You let yourself smile, you always let yourself smile around Dave.

“I thought you got lost there for a minute Egbert, now come on I had to kick Bro and English out so we could have our quality bro bonding time with just me, you, carcinoGeneticist and twinArmageddons.

“Oh are they on!” You say excitedly reaching for your controller.

“Yep, timed it just perfectly as always” Just as Dave starts the game and you see the usernames you’ve grown so familiar to seeing pop up.

“Let’s go kick some ass,” You say pressing the button as you turn your head to give Dave a smile.

“Anything for you babe,” With that you and Dave focus all your intention on the game, not even noticing when Roxy slipped into the room, phone in hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk what i'm doing and i dont know where this is going 
> 
> if you have any questions or just wanna talk to me heres my tumblr - [turntechbio](http://turntechbio.tumblr.com/)
> 
> anyways I love you all bye


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK FOREVER I WAS IN BALTIMORE FOR A FEW DAYS THEN SCHOOL STARTED AND I JUST DONT KNOW IM SORRY

You were up before Dave was, you were up before anyone was really. Glancing over at the clock it read 3:38 am. Way to early to be up. You pull the blanket over your shoulders shutting your eyes hoping you'd fall back asleep.

You weren't so lucky and the yellow glow of the streetlight that shined weakly through your window was starting to give you a headache and it annoyed you to no end. When you had thrown your last pillow off your bed in anger you decided it was time to get up. You barely remembered your towel as you left to go take a quick shower. When you got back out you just threw on a pair of boxers and one of Dave's long sleeve shirts that laid on the floor. 

You left the room in a huff, Christmas was starting to piss you off and it's barely even started. You turned 2 feet and opened Dave's door. His room was pitch black, you couldn't even see your hand when you lifted it up in front of you. You took a cautious step forward remembering the wires and pens that littered his floor. 

You groped around blindly until your eyes had adjusted a bit. Soon you were making your way to the bed. you took notice of Dave sprawled out with one leg under the blankets and one leg above. You'd take a picture if it was light enough and if you had brought your phone. 

Lifting the blankets up Dave rolled over towards you and curled into a ball, it was cute. You crawled under the blankets welcoming the warmth it brought. You laid on your side looking over at Dave. His lips were slightly parted and his blonde hair stuck up at awkward angles, you could see the lines from where his glasses had made a semi permanent marks, the bags under his eyes looked darker then you remember them being but then again it could just be because the room itself is so dark. You reach out a hand and softly trace his lips before moving down to his chin, there's a tiny scar there he had proudly shown you one day.

"Remember those awful slide phones from like 3rd grade, well I used to slide it so it got stuck on my chin and I'd let it hang there, I must've done it everyday for 2 years, now I got this awesome scar..." 

You smile at the memory, Dave was something else, a good something else. Your hand reached Dave's cheek and you tucked a tiny piece of hair behind his ear. You weren't that scared when Dave's arms found you and wrapped around your waist. You just held him to you, playing with his hair. 

"Merry Christmas" you hear and fell the vibrations of Dave's words on your chest. 

"Merry Christmas" Dave wiggles a bit until he's pressed against you completely with his legs intertwined with yours. 

"Mm– the time?" Dave said in to your chest. 

"4:02 am" you say just barely glancing at his clock.

"What are you doing up so early" Dave says pushing your shirt up so he could touch your actual skin. 

"I just woke up, trust me if it was up to me I'd still be asleep" you are blinded for a second while Dave pulls your shirt off. 

You flip over and Dave sits on top of you smirking and flashing those eyes that make you want to kiss every inch of him. Dave starts kissing your chest moving up to your neck, you close your eyes and arch your back as he starts lightly nipping at your skin. 

"Dave" you don't have any other words to say.

Dave doesn't respond, kissing down to your collar bone before sucking on the skin there. When it first happens you let out a tiny moan and Dave sits up to look at his work, seemingly satisfied with it he goes to work on leaving a lot more marks on your skin.

It's frustrating, Dave has your hands pinned down and your unable to touch him or even return the favor, you shut your eyes trying not to think about how nice Dave's pale skin would look all marked up. Dave should be arrested for this kind of torture. 

"Hello, earth to Egburt, calling old Johnny boy, you still here?" Dave says sitting seemingly unfazed on your chest.

You blink a few times before you find your voice and answer him.

"I'm here, we should probably go downstairs" The sun was starting to show through the curtains and you stay up wrapping your arms around Dave's waist. 

"You might want to put a shirt on first" Dave said smirking and motioning to the area around your neck. 

You push Dave off of you not even worried if he's following you or not. You burst into the bathroom and throw the light on, your jaw drops, it looks like you were just hit by a truck but only on your neck. 

"DAVID ELIZABETH STRIDER" You exclaim and turn just in time to see Dave sprint off down the hallway. 

—

You don't look at Dave at all during breakfast and if you do you just glare at him. Luckily Dave was considerate and didn't leave anything that you couldn't cover up with a sweater. Everyone around you seemed to notice the tension in the room and one look at Bro and the smirk he sent your way you knew they knew. 

You didn't speak to Dave until Ms. Lalonde grouped you all into the living room to sit around the tree as she handed out gifts. Dave sat tentatively next to you and took your hand in his. You allowed it, glancing down for a second before quickly turning your head so you wouldn't immediately cave once you saw his face. Dave accepted it though and just rubbed your hand with this thumb in small circles. If anyone asks you were so not leaving into him. 

No one did ask because no one there was blind and they all could see how John had relaxed into Dave. 

"Okay youngest gets the first present that means you John" Ms. Lalonde stood up from where she was sitting next to your dad. 

Everyone watched as she moved the pile of presents over and reached for a tiny box underneath the tree in the far back. Roxy snorted when in her mothers efforts she knocked down an ornament and it broke in half. Ms. Lalonde didn't even glance down at the Santa split in half and instead presented you with a gold box with silver ribbon around it. The small tag that was attached to it read; To: John From: Santa. Dave let out a breathy laugh as he read the tag from over your shoulder. 

You carefully unraveled the ribbon and let out a gasp, you so didn't spend this much money on anyone's present. It was an apple watch with a blue band. Your eyes widened and you struggled to form words. 

"Thank you so much, you really shouldn't have" and you meant it, she shouldn't have. 

"I don't know what your talking about John, Santa gave that to you" Ms. Lalonde said already picking up another present. 

Dave had an arm wrapped around your waist as you both silently watched Jade open her gift, the wrapping paper being green with little snowmen on it. You glanced at Dave who was facing Jade, but you knew when you looked straight into his shades he was looking back. 

"Thank you so much I love it!" had exclaimed holding up the embroidered lab coat, Ms. Lalonde was really kicking ass with these presents. 

"Now for my little boy, David" Ms. Lalonde, said, shoving a box wrapped in what seemed to be a Christmas smuppet themed wrapping paper. 

You glanced and saw the look of disgust on his face and the glare he sent to his brother Dirk who sat quietly next to Jake sipping his eggnog. You almost laughed out loud when you saw how nervous Dave was to rip the wrapping paper, almost like he was scared of touching the 2D printed smuppets. You saved everyone the time and ripped a long piece so that all Dave had to do was separate the two parts. Dave muttered a barely audible 'thanks' and you just shrugged it off.

You kind of missed Dave's arm around your waist. You made a point not to stare at him, instead focusing on the box in his hand, you watched as Dave's knuckles turned white and he grunted as he ripped the cardboard open to reveal his gift. He pulled it out of the box so he could show everyone. It was a set of headphones in a stunning shade of red a little bit darker then Dave's eyes. 

"Thanks Mom" Dave says throwing his trash away in the bag Dirk gave to him. 

"All you kids thanking me when the tag clearly says it's from Santa" Ms Lalonde said playfully. 

"We aren't kids anymore mom" Dirk said reaching for the closest present with his name on it. 

"You'll always be kids in my eyes" Ms. Lalonde said slapping Dirks hand away and grabbing a gift for Rose. 

Rose wasted no time in ripping the gift open, it was some purple book with silver etched on its hard cover. You glanced at the title, The World Of Fiction and other means of escape. It wasn't a title you recognized and you wondered if it was any good. 

"You published my research?" Rose said staring at her mother, the shock evident on her face. 

"Darn right I did, went to my friend Sally who lives closer to the city, she's married to a guy who works in this big time publishing office, gave Sally the manuscript and she gave it to her husband who passed it off to one of his coworkers, that right there is the very first copy to ever get off the printer" Rose was speechless, she had no words to say at all. 

"Thank you" She said and carefully placed the book on her lap. 

"Thats pretty cool" you say to Dave as you inconspicuously climb into his lap. 

"I know, I just hope she didn't mention my name in that big purple book of hers" Dave said wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his chin on your shoulder. 

You laugh silently as you watch Roxy open up her gift, it was a shiny pink box with a purple bow on it. She opened it up and gave a confused look as she picked up a single piece of paper. You watched as she read the paper and her facial expression changed from one of disappointment to pure unconfined excitement. No one has time to ask her a single question before she bolts up from her seat and sprints down one of the hallways. 

"OH EM GEEEEE" Roxy exclaims from somewhere, everyone looks and Ms. Lalonde who just smiles and takes a sip of her eggnog. 

"Janey look at this cutie!" Roxy says appearing with a tiny black kitten in her arms. 

It let out a soft meow and you fell in love. 

"He looks just like Jaspers" Roxy said kissing the kitten on its head. 

"He does" Rose commented, the excitement seeping out of her voice. 

"Well I'm going to name him Casper" Roxy said lifting the kitten up to bump their noses together. 

"Boop!" She said and burst into a fit of giggles which the cat let out a small meow in excitement. 

"Okay I guess it's time for my oldest child to get his present since he can't seem to contain his impatience" Ms. Lalonde said as she shot a pointed glare at Dirk who immediately stopped shaking his leg. 

"Sorry mom" He mumbled as he took the box offered to him. 

He opened it, a bored expression resting on his facial features. You looked at Dave who was busy playing with the fingers on your right hand. You and Dave met each others gazes even through his shades. 

"Thanks mom, this is the last piece I needed to upgrade Hal, did he tell you that?" You jumped and looked at Dirks present which seemed to just be a piece of metal or something, you really didn't know. 

"He might've mentioned it about 300 times to me" Ms Lalonde said smiling before turning around to get Jakes present. 

"I feel so old, being the last of the kids to get a present" Jake said sheepishly and rested his head on Dirks shoulder. 

"Don't worry babe, I'm into older men" That made Jake shoot up and push Dirk over. 

"I am only 2 months older then you Strider, I'm not that old" Everyone even yourself was laughing quietly at the couple, after everything calmed down Ms. Lalonde handed Jake his present. 

Jake tore open the box and gasped.

"These boots and socks were worn by Jake's 'Avatar' when he leaves the human base at the start of the movie help to illustrate how tall and proportionately bigger than humans the aliens are!" You laughed at Jake's extensive knowledge of the avatar movie. 

"Yup even have that certificate of authenticity in there to do it's the real deal hun" Ms Lalonde said grabbing another gift.

"Now now Roxanne we all know I'm older then you sit down let me get you a present." Ms Lalonde didn't say anything but she eyed your dad suspiciously.

Ms Lalonde accepted the gift given to her graciously and delicately unraveled the bow on top. She opened the box up and gave your dad another suspicious look before pulling out what was obviously a jewelry box. Opening it up she gasped and her eyes widened. She looked right at your dad and shut the box, you could only view their silent conversation from the outside but you knew that when they were alone they were going to talk about the gift, whatever the gift even was.

Ms Lalonde seemed shaken up and it confused everyone, Dave even shot his brother a questioning look to which Bro only shrugged at. 

"James, you're the last person so here" Your dad took the gift graciously and made quick work on opening it, it was a new watch, not an apple watch like yours but an old fashioned silver manly looking watch. 

"Thank you Roxanne" Your dad said and she waved it off. 

"Okay now you can all take any of your presents you want that are yours, yes I'm looking at you Dave" You could feel the heat from Dave's face as he buried it in your shoulder. 

"Come on Dave let go of me so I can open that big gift of mine" You say eyeing the tag that read 'John'.

"But John you're so comfortable" Dave whines and you start to wiggle in an attempt to escape is hold. 

"John" Dave whines and draws out your name, "Stop John I love you! Don't leave me" you successfully escape his grip but end up falling flat on your face. 

"Dave this is all your fault" you say pouting as Dave stands up to help you back up. 

"I'm sorry maybe my gift will make it up to you" you look skeptical but allow Dave to get you the present he had gotten for you. 

He hands you a card and your even more skeptical, you open it and find 2 cruise tickets, 2 Disney cruise tickets. You move your eyes from the tickets to Dave in disbelief, you are going to go on a cruise for the first time in your life, with Dave. 

"It's in March so we're going to miss school, but your dad already said it was okay," Dave bit his lip nervously and you'd kiss him if it didn't mean losing the bet, part of you didn't care, part of you knew just how broke you truly were. 

"I don't care Dave I love it is the best, really puts my gift in the gutter though" you say reaching for the gift you got him. 

"I bet I'll love it" Dave said trying to reassure you as he ripped into the wrapping paper. 

"You actually got them" Dave dead pans and you nod eagerly. 

"Yes now take those silly anime shades off and put on these 110% cooler ones" You said urging Dave to try on the aviator shades.

Dave sighs but does as you say and honestly you have the extreme urge to kiss him again. 

"You look hot in those" you say and Dave cracks a smile. 

"Thanks Egbert" you both hug each other aware of Jades intense stare on the both of you. 

You opened the rest of your presents and got a knitted sweater with a 'J' in the middle, clearly meant to be a copy of on of the Weasley sweaters from Harry Potter. A marine biology book, a smuppet, a pair of binoculars, a new doctor who tshirt and a plush blue Dalek that when pressed said "exterminate". Overall it was a pretty good Christmas haul and you had no idea how you were going to fit most of it into your already too full suitcase. 

At the end of the night when Jake and Dirk disappeared into their rooms and Jade and Dad had came in to hand you each their respective 20 dollars and the electric clock above the clock ticked to 12:01, Dave looked at you from behind his new aviator shades that you got him and asked the question you've been dying to hear. 

"Jonathan Egbert will you do me the honor of being my boyfriend" 

"David Elizabeth Strider you have no idea how long I've waited to say yes to those words" You both leaned in towards each other and kissed like you had all the time in the world. 

And for right now on December 26, at 12:02 am, time froze around you and you truly did have all the time in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still fucking johndave trash holy hell


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't read this through and checked for errors, I just wanted to get it out ASAP

"Dave I told you you don't have to help me unpack my stuff, really I got it! Plus you have to go meet your new roommate" you say only half jokingly, you really didn't mind if Dave stayed to help you unpack. 

"John you are my boyfriend, therefore it's my duty to help you unpack and warn your roommate not to try anything funny" Dave said puffing his chest out proudly, still wearing the aviator shades you got him for Christmas a week ago. 

"So after this I get to go intimidate your roommate?" You say raising an eyebrow at Dave. 

"I mean you can but you're not the most intimidating person out there Egbert, you're more of a flower if anything." You pretend to be offended by Dave's words but in all honesty he was right. 

"I'm still going to intimidate whoever it is" 

"I'll support you babe don't worry" Dave said grabbing your room key from your hand to open the door for you, like a proper gentleman. 

"So I guess I just put my stuff in the space with out 30,000 computer parts?" You say your voice full of amusement.

"Oh god this looks like Bros room, if you're rooming with Bro babe all the sex will have to be in my room" You'd hit Dave on the arm if your hands weren't busy holding a box full of your stuff. 

"Dave stop it you're not funny" You move into the room and see Dave shrug out of the corner of your eye. 

"I thought I was pretty hilarious" He puts his box down next to yours. 

"I'll go get the last box you can start unpacking okay?" You say already ready to leave the room. 

"Yea whatever is best for you babe" Dave said ripping open the box he was previously caring. 

You smile at him before running downstairs to your dads car, he was currently helping Jade so you had to climb into the front seat and open the trunk without the special button on the key. You quickly grab the last box and struggle holding it with one hand for a few seconds so you can shut the trunk again. You walk quickly, as quickly as you can with a 12 pound box in your hands. 

"Sorry I took so long this box is so unbelievably heavy" you say cracking a smile behind the box. 

You don't get a response which concerns you so you quickly put the box down only to see Dave holding a piece of paper next to a box halfway unpacked and his phone in his hand. 

"Dave what are you doing?" You say moving over to see what he's looking at. 

You sit down and move over next to him resting your head on his shoulder before looking at the piece of paper in his hand. You look at it and immediately jump up and pull it out of his hands. 

"Dave let me explain" you rush out, your brain kicking into panic mode. 

"I saw this Facebook page when I looked you up online" you wish Dave wasn't wearing his shades so you could see his eyes and see what he was thinking at this very moment. 

"Dave, Dave please look at me please Dave" you are going to cry, you can feel the tears forming. 

"Dave please" you sound so small and so far away, so broken. 

"Why didn't you tell me John" Even with his shades on you could see the hurt in his eyes, hell it was practically tangible. 

"Dave I wanted to leave that all behind me" You say the tears just flowing now. 

"I know you knew about this page John, hell your lock screen picture was from it" Dave sounded angry, you didn't know if it was at you but you feel like it was so you cover your face and crumple to the ground. 

"Hell John you were bullied, you were beaten up, pranked you were fucking raped John! You were raped and my sister and mother helped you through it and this is the first time im hearing about it"

You were full out sobbing now, you didn't know how to answer. 

"John I fucking love you, but shit man, this is shit that even as a best bro I need to know, I love you and I know that you're still not over it, because if you were you'd have told me"

"I'm sorry" you get out through the sobs and bury your head in your knees. 

"Shit john no stop please don't cry" You feel Dave's arms around you as he scoops you up into his lap. 

"John I'm not mad this doesn't change anything I still love you John, I'll always love you" Dave presses chaste kisses over all the places he can reach. 

"John babe please look at me lets talk about this, this is a huge part of your life and I don't want to accidentally trigger something babe, and I'm pretty sure I already did when I brought up the Facebook page the first time."

You fist your hands into Dave's shirt and hide your face in his chest, the tears not stopping. 

"John I love you you're absolutely perfect, I know we haven't known each other that long but honestly it feels like we've known each other for years, at least for me, I always want to talk to you and hold you and kiss you, literally if I could just be with you every second of every day that'd be the best, you're so smart and funny and I could honestly listen to you talk for hours and when you play the piano, hell man I just lose my shit your so fucking magical, like you have to cut a guy some slack, all that perfect in one person should not be legal like I'd call 911 but what do i report like 'hello officer my boyfriend is literally too perfect to be human arrest him immediately' like fuck man I love you so damn much"

You sobbed into Dave's chest, you didn't deserve him, you didn't deserve someone so sweet and kind and understanding, you didn't deserve to be loved like this or to be as happy as you feel at the moment, you're dirty and used and a fucking humiliation, you don't deserve any of what Dave's giving you. 

"I swear to god John, if I ever see any of those fuckers who were in the video the first thing I'm doing is punching them right in the face because you're literally my everything babe and to see that you were so vulnerable then, it makes me want to fight everyone in your whole goddamn school."

You laugh a little through the tears at the thought of Dave fighting everyone in the school. You'd love to see that honestly. You'd really just love to stroll down the hallways of your old school holding Dave's hand so everyone can see how amazing your boyfriend is and how happy you are. 

"Let's finish unpacking babe but first, show me your arms" you swallow hard as you hope to god that the 2 weeks of healing did wonders and that you didn't have any visible scars. 

Dave took his shades off and carefully held your arm up, like you were a porcelain doll that could break into a million pieces at any minute. You watched as you raised your arm shakily up so he could look at your skin, honestly it looked shredded, your skin was all bumpy from old scars and littered with white lines from new ones. You watched as he ran his hand down your arm and let it go, reaching for your other one, he slowly rolled your sleeve up to above your elbow. you watched as his red eyes danced over your arm, noting every scar, ever imperfection, every wound that had yet to heal. 

He leans down closer and does something you've only read about in books. He kissed your scars, he traced them with his fingers and made sure he kissed every single scar, ever single mark on your skin. Once he finished with the left arm he grabbed your right arm again and did the same thing. He mapped out the scars and kissed each and everyone of them as he went. You were crying by the time Dave had finished. 

"Where else" it wasn't a question, it was a statement, Dave knew it wasn't only your arms, just like he knew there had been scars on your arms in the first place. 

"M-my shoulders, my thighs, a few on my stomach b-but I haven't cut there in a while, I'm 2 weeks clean Dave, I promise I am" Dave just leans in until his forehead is resting against yours. 

"John I love you so fucking much, roll up my sleeve" Your eyes widen in horror at what Dave wanted you to do, Dave couldn't be like you, Dave was so cool and had a carefree attitude and probably had more friends then he himself could count, there's no reason Dave, the boy who kissed yours scars, the boy who loves you, the boy who you love back, could ever have gotten to the breaking point of harming himself, ever. 

"John, please" Your eyes meet and you shakily move your hands to hold onto the red of Dave's sleeve. Carefully, as if there were fresh cuts up and down his arm, you moved the sleeve to rest above his elbow. 

"Dave" those are the only words you get out of your mouth before you press your lips onto his. 

You want to make him feel just as happy as he made you, to know how much he means to you, to show him he saved your life, to show him that you love him more then any words in the world could ever describe, and from the way he kissed you back, he got the message and was sending a similar one back. 

"Wow, fucking before you unpack, how classy, you could've at least you know closed the door" You don't recognize the voice and from the look on Dave's face he doesn't either. 

You ball your fists into the material of Dave's shirt around his shoulders and stand up shakily, coughing to clear our throat and hastily wiping your eyes before facing the new person in the room.

"Oh uh sorry I'm John, John Egbert, I'm your new roommate" this was truly embaressing, you meet your roommate for the first time and it's with red puffy eyes and a ruffled appearance that screamed 'just fucked' even though in reality the only thing that fucked you was life. 

"Sollux, Sollux Captor, I take it you two are dating? Or..." you look at Dave who quickly jumps up to put his arm around your waist. 

"Yea were dating, I live in dorm A" Sollux made a face but shrugged.

"Everyone over there is a bunch of assholes"

"Oh so you'll fit right in then Dave" You say smiling innocently up at Dave who shot you a playful glare. 

"You're a little shit John you know that right" you hummed in agreement. 

"Yes but I'm your little shit" Dave just smiles and presses a chaste kiss to your forehead.

"Let's finish unpacking so we can go meet my roommate, I wonder if he's as big of an asshole as yours." Dave says a little to loudly just so Sollux can hear him clearly, not that he couldn't already since the room was sort of small. 

"You do know I'm right here" Sollux said not looking up from his computer.

"Yea that was kind of the whole point" Dave said folding up an empty box. 

You both worked silently mindful of Sollux in the room, when you finished Dave grabbed your hand to lead you to his dorm, you said a quick goodbye to Sollux before actually walking step in step with Dave. You're really glad you decided to get all the boxes out of the car first, so now you don't have to go carry all of Dave's boxes since you already did it earlier. 

You enter his room, you really liked the one black wall that Dave's bed was pushed against, it really tied to the white room together nicely. 

"So what class are you most excited for" You say as you rip open a box. 

"Photography, bro I was looking up their program last night, I'm going to be in heaven. They also have a recording studio I plan to check out so I can record all my sick beats" you laugh but agree with him. 

"Yea I'm hoping to record a few piano pieces, their equipment is so high tech and much better then the shitty one I used to keep in my room." 

"Agreed"

You and Dave worked in a comfortable silence, occasionally making random conversations about a few of Dave's possessions but most of the time it was just you and Dave working in silence. 

When you finished unpacking everything and folded up the boxes to stuff in the closet later on, you collapsed onto Daves, now fully made bed. 

"Dave come cuddle with me in tired" You say reaching your arms out towards him. 

"Babe it's literally 6 o'clock there is now way your falling asleep since dinner is at 7, plus we have to meet back up with daddy Egbert at 6:30, so no time to sleep" Dave said but still fell next to you on the bed and wrapped around you, you immediately repainted and buried your face in his hair. 

"I love you so much Dave, you literally mean the world to me" You whispered, only wanting Dave to hear these words despite no one else being in the room currently. 

"I love you too John, I also feel the exact same way about you, how did I ever get so lucky?" Dave smiled at you and you reached down to take his shades off. 

"I'm the lucky one Dave" you barely make a sound when you say it but to Dave it's like you're screaming it at the top of your lungs.

"We're both the lucky ones" Dave decides and lifts his chin up so he can kiss your lips. 

You lower your face a little since in this position your kind of way taller then him despite you both being the same height. The kiss is no where as intimate as the last one but it means just as much, it's soft and sweet and gentle and filled with so much love, all the hearts in build-a-bear workshop couldn't compete. You melted into Dave, you wanted time to completely stop for the both of you so you could just lay here with Dave and be as happy as you are right now forever. 

"Babe we have to get up, it's 6:15 and Jades Dorm is pretty far compared to how close mine and yours were." You shake your head no not wanting to move. 

"Tired" you mumble wrapping yourself around Dave so he can't get up. 

"John we gotta go meet up with Jade and Daddy Egbert there's really no other option, trust me babe if I could I would let you stay here and sleep forever." 

"Davvvvve I'm tiiiiiiiiiired, don't make me get up" you whine and loosen your grip on Dave enough so he can sit up. 

"come on babe I'll even carry you" Dave offers but you shake your head no, you really don't want to get up, this bed is so damn comfortable and it smells like Dave. 

"Babe, we need to go, if we don't Harley will come hunt us down and beat both of us to a pulp for not showing up on time, do you want that John, do you want to get beaten up into a pulp by your cousin, because I sure as hell don't"You groan, you knew Dave was right and you knew you had to eventually get up but you honestly just weren't feeling it at the moment. 

"Who the fuck are you two?" your eyes widened as you heard a voice you knew all too well. 

"Well are one of you going to answer me or are you both going to act like dumb asses" Dave glabced down at you and immeditaly recognized the fear on your face. 

"Wow rude much? Don't even give me a name, I can feel the love already" Dave said slightly pissed off. 

"Karkat Vantas and I believe I asked you first" The anger you always associate with him was still very present in his voice. You stayed staring at the wall, letting Dave fight this one for you because you didn't know if you could.

"Oh yea, yea I know you, didn't you used to live in LA?" Dave phrased it as a question but from his tone you knew it was just a formality. 

"Yea, what's it to you, you still haven't told me your fucking name" Karkat had moved closer, since his already loud voice sounded 3 times louder.

"I'm Dave Strider" Next thing you know you see Dave stand up and you sit up to watch him, Karkat glances over at you and his eyes widened, it looks like he's about to say something but before he can even react properly Dave's fist connects with face, there's a sickening crunch and gasp at the pain you imagine Karkat is in. 

"That's for being an asshole to my boyfriend"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *has no idea where this story is going*


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long school is a lot and I haven't really had much free time

"Now David, I hope you know that I'm very very upset that in the hour I left you and John alone you got into a fight." Dave's head was tilted down and his foot was pushing the dirt around as your Dad lectured him. 

"I also would like to say thank you and I'm upset you got to punch him before I did, what I wouldn't do to be able to punch that little ass-" your eyes widen and you quickly cut him off. 

"Dad! Stop no, Dave you shouldn't have done that but thank you, Dad you're supposed to give fatherly advice not tell Dave thanks for doing something you couldn't!" You were glaring at them, Karkat could charge Dave with assault not just that Dave broke his fucking nose, you hated the dude sure but this was just stooping down to his level and you were above that, kind of. 

"And look at your hand Dave your knuckles are bleeding" you say picking up Dave's hand. 

"Only two of them are Egbert stop worrying so much" Dave said grabbing your arm so he could pull you closer. 

"I'm still very angry at you" You say but return the hug Dave gives you anyways. 

"I told you I was going to punch one of them if I ever saw them and it just so happens my roommate is one of them" that still bugs you a bit, the fact that Dave and Karkat share a room, but your dad already talked to the school and there was really nowhere else for Dave to stay, he'd just have to wait till next year. 

"You two better get going, Jades waiting for you by the main entrance, I'll be leaving now though so come give me a hug goodbye" Your dad opens his arms out wide and both you and Dave hug him saying rushed goodbyes as you quickly let go and run towards the main entrance where Jade was waiting for them.

"Last one there is a rotten egg" You say and quickly go into a full on sprint, you silently thank your dad for pushing you to partake in middle school track, all those practices weren't preparing you for the meets, they were preparing you for this moment, the one where you raced your boyfriend across some field. 

"Oh hell no, no way I'm letting you beat me" You hear Dave say and begin to feel his hands trying to grab onto you but you push on taking off of the ground even harder, really pushing forward with your toes, you were all legs according to your dad so you should really have the advantage over Dave who seems to be, well he's also all legs, you really have no advantage except for the fact you're better then him at everything. 

"Dave just," you pause, losing your breath to quickly, "just accept the fact I'm so much better then you" you let out a wheeze of a laugh you really should start saving your breath your too tired already. 

"You would've thought" you can hear Dave gasping for breath, you were a bit surprised at how well he was holding up, he seemed a bit better off in the air department then you were but that didn't mean anything right now. 

"Shit" you mutter under your breath as you see Dave coming up on your left, he was going to overtake you, you looked at him and then quickly in front of you, you could actually see Jade now sitting on the steps on her phone, waiting for you and Dave to come meet up with her. 

You let your mind wander off a bit wondering what the time is and how long and far you've been running, it's had to have been like 10 minutes right? It feels like 10 minutes. Who knows maybe it's been an hour. You start losing hope when Dave clearly takes the lead. You keep up with him though, always right on his heels, just a little bit more, a little faster, you can do this you can win this. 

"WATCH OUT HARLEY" Dave yells and it's a good thing he did because you and him were going fast and you doubted you could both stop safely in front of her without some sort of collision.

"What are you guys-" she didn't get any time to finish her sentence you used the last of your energy and pushed the few feet you needed ahead, successfully passing Dave and sprinting up the steps 3 at a time the momentum from the run making you able to take 4 at a time if you were lucky, you reached the top and just dropped onto the ground. 

"I did it," you wheeze out, not enough air was getting in your lungs at the moment, "I won" you close your eyes and fling your arm over your face blocking the sun from hitting your eyes. 

"Good, good job babe" Dave said resting with his hands on his knees, both of you equally out of breath. 

"What the hell were you guys doing?" Jade said coming over to both you and Dave, offering you a hand to stand back up, which you really didn't want to take but did because you knew people were going to look at you funny if you stayed on the dirty ground. 

"I've skating Harley, what's it look like" Dave said, never too tired to give a smart ass remark. 

"It looked like you two were being idiots, especially you Dave" Jade didn't say anything else, she didn't have to, you all knew what she was talking about, Karkat.

"Sorry" Dave says sheepishly as he fixes his aviator shades, the ones you gave him. 

"Whatever not our problem at the moment, let's go in I'm starving and I heard they serve matzah ball soup and I'm dying to try some" 

"Better hope they're not hockey pucks" you say remembering the one time your late aunt tried to make matzah ball soup and almost broke your teeth. 

"I mean it's a private school I'm sure at least one chef knows how to not screw up matzah balls" Jade said and you can tell she's really thought hard about this, she must be really hungry. 

"You never know" you say and walk up to Dave, your heart jumping a bit when you felt his arm wrap around your waist. 

"You know this would make a lot more sense if I knew what you guys were talking about" Dave said, running his fingers through his slightly damp hair. 

"It's just a Jewish soup, it's basically bread dumplings but like it's not bread, it's good, I'll make you some one day" 

"So you guys are Jewish?" You shake your head no. 

"His mom and mine were, they agreed to celebrate both holidays but after they passed away we just stopped celebrating or going to temple. We still do the little things though like we both have had our bar and bat mitzvah and we celebrate holidays we remember like Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, Passover and Hanukkah other then that we don't really do anything religious." Jade said opening the doors. 

"Oh that's cool, I guess, I mean I'm an atheist so I don't really care about that religious stuff" Dave said unwrapping his hand around your waist as people started appearing. 

"We don't either" you say and inch closer to Dave who silently rests his hand on your lower back to keep you grounded. 

The line is really long, and according to the group in front of you it's only ever like that on the first day of new semesters. You wait silently with Dave and Jade, they're busy discussing some show you haven't had time to watch and honestly probably wouldn't watch. The only thing that was making you not freak out and have a full out anxiety attack right here in the middle of this crowded room was Dave's hand gently rubbing soothing circles onto your back. His other hand was busy telling a story since that's how Dave talked, with his hands, just like an Italian. 

You slowly inched your way closer to the counter. You could just make out the menu and actually realized there were copied of the menu on the wall next to you, you grabbed a copy and opened it, your eyes wandering around the pamphlet type menu, it was divided into three sections Breakfast Lunch and Dinner, with desserts and drinks on the back. Everything looked delicious and honestly you were terrified of getting any closer to the counter. It seemed that everyone in the room could sense your fear so in response everything moved twice as fast. You felt like crying when you saw the cold metal counter show up in front of you. 

"Do you want me to order for you babe" Dave whispers into your ear trying to stop your shaking. 

"P-please" you manage to get out and Dave just wraps his arms around you in another attempt to calm you down. 

It works for the most part, with everything around you now just being pure Dave, it's was intoxicating and he had a calming effect on you that you wish you could bottle up and save for situations where he wouldn't be there, like your AP Biology class. 

"What do you want babe"Dave said after Jade started telling the guy her order. 

"Just a Caesar Salad with extra chicken and croutons, they never add enough croutons" you mumbled sounding deeply troubled about the lack of croutons that usually come in your salad. 

"Never have truer words ever been spoken Dave said, kissing your forehead quickly before turning to face the women standing there waiting to their order. 

"That's $16.99, and y'all are so cute together I hope everything works out and you guys stay as happy as you are now" from the way she said it, it almost felt like she was about to tell you her whole life story before she took Dave's 20$. 

"Thank you so much" Dave said grabbing the tray with both of your meals and drinks on it. 

"She seems nice" you say as your eyes scan the giant room for Jade. 

"Found her" Dave said and headed towards the far back window, where Jade was making a scene and waving her hands over her head. 

You were already turning red from the embarrassment of just being there but now with Jade making a scene you thought you might just explode from it all. You follow quickly behind Dave keeping your eyes glued to the floor, only making it through by staring at Dave feet and following their motions. 

Eventually you did make it over to Jade who showed you a small table meant for 4, you and Dave took one side and she took the opposite choosing to sit across from you which you were eternally thankful for. 

"Now that your hear John we should make a bet, if these aren't like hockey pucks," Jade lifts up her spoon and points to the Matzah balls, "then you have to give me your extra bag of croutons" Dave let's out a low hiss. 

"She's going straight for the croutons bro, savage" you ignore Dave but have to agree, Jade sure knew what she was doing.

"And if I win and they are hockey pucks?" You say, not really wanting any of her food. 

"I'll do one if your essays for you, any essay, any time, anywhere" you say back in your chair thinking about it. 

Jade could write essays, she was practically the queen of essays. Doesn't matter if it's two weeks before of two minutes before the girl could write an essay. You look over at Dace who's stoic face is no help to you right now. 

"Deal" you say leaning forward and sticking your hand out, Jade leans forward and does the same and you successfully shake hands solidifying the deal. 

"Dig in Harley" Dave says and you all watch as Jades spoon connects with the matzah ball.

Jade couldn't even get her spoon through. You burst out laughing, the overwhelming sense of pride and smugness filled inside you and you smirked at Jade, you had won the bet. You looked at Dave so he could see just how much your eyes filled to the brim with happiness and content. 

Then your mind wandered away from the bad matzah balls and the silly bet between you and Jade. You were actually happy, you had an amazing boyfriend who despite knowing what happened to you still accepts and cares for you, your cousin is sitting across from you happier then you've seen her in the past few months, despite everything that you two have gone through you both came out a little torn at the edges, but masterpieces regardless. You feel Dave squeeze your hand and your chest fills up with warmth. You smile, a genuine smile, you were happy, you had friends you had a boyfriend you were happy, not even Karkat can ruin this new start for you. You squeezed Dave's hand back and gave him a grin that showed all 32 of your teeth. 

"Guess Harley's got an essay to write soon" he said and you rejoin the conversation. 

"I had such high hopes" Jade sighs out, only pretending to be upset about losing the bet, she didn't have that high of hopes to begin with once she saw the actual matzah balls. 

"So what's the plan for tomorrow, are we all going to meet up? Do we even have our schedules? Shit I probably lost my schedule already, just my luck, good job Strider fucking up before you even have a chance to start" you giggle at Dave's rambling and lightly elbow him in the stomach, enough so he shuts up and looks at you. 

"No we didn't get our schedules, we go to the auditorium after this and get them." You open your extra pack of croutons and place them on your salad, extremely happy you didn't lose the bet. 

"I hope we have at least one class together, all three of us, that'd be really nice" Jade says, eating the bread that was given with her soup since the actual content in the soup was inedible. 

"We'd get no work done" you say agreeing with Jade but also pointing out how non productive you'd be.

"The teacher is going to hate us so much" Dave says smirking at the thought, you silently wished you had classes with Dave, even if you had none with Jade you wanted at least one with Dave. 

"So when we get into the auditorium do you want to go as a group to each table, because they separate it by last name, for example John would be the first table since his last name is Egbert, I'm at the second table, Harley, and Dave you're at the third table so do we all just wait in line separately then meet up somewhere?" Jade looked at both you and Dave expectantly, you just did some vague hand gesture and let out a tiny sound of confusion. 

"Separately" Dave said and Jade nodded. 

"It'll be faster that way" Your heartbeat sped up, you were going to have to do this alone. 

You glanced up, the worry written all over your face as Dave reached over to grab the now empty tray in front of you. He glanced over at you and quickly placed a reassuring kiss on your cheek. 

"Don't worry babe I'm going to wait in line with you" your breathing started evening out and you felt yourself calm down immensely. 

"Thanks" you whisper and Jade stands up pushing her chair in. 

"Let's meet out by the stairs after we get our schedules, sound good?" Both you and Dave nodded and as a group all three of you exited the crowded mess of a cafeteria. 

"Oh thank god" you say entering the auditorium and seeing a total of maybe 7 people inside. 

"yea it is the second quarter most kids have their schedule already." Jade says as she heads for the table set up in the very front by the stage. 

"We'll meet you outside Harley" Dave says using his hand at the small of your back to guide you towards the table. 

"Hi welcome! Name please?" The all too happy volunteer said throwing a huge smile towards you. 

"John Egbert" your chest swells up with pride as you end up not stuttering in front of her. 

You can feel Dave smiling at you and you can't help but feel giddy, you just asked for something without stuttering, this was huge. You see Jade making her way out and wave to her as she throws you and Dave one last look. You follow Dave, a lot more confident now that you spoke and your part is over and you did amazing. The lady at Dave's table isn't quite as nice as yours but Dave seems unfazed by it all. 

"Dave Strider" the women just looks you and him up and down with a disapproving frown set on her face. She pulls the paper out, handing it to Dave as if it were literally on fire. 

"You can't wear sunglasses inside once classes start" is all she says after Dave says thank you. 

"Actually I can, just watch me" you wanted to make and oh sound but instead just kept your mouth shut trying real hard not to burst out laughing at the way the women's face turned from one of disappointment to unfiltered shock. 

Dave dragged you out of the auditorium not even giving the poor women a glance over his shoulder. When you're safely out of the room you burst out laughing and so does Dave. You are both still laughing when you open the door to outside and see Jades puzzled face. 

"What happened?" She asks standing in front of you and Dave who are now just laughing like complete idiots. 

You go to explain, attempting to keep yourself from breaking down laughing again, you think about how you're going to word it and burst out laughing again. This whole scenario was funny for no real reason except for how little fucks Dave gave, and he hadn't even started school yet. 

"Fucking hell man, I can't tell you how many notes I had to have Bro get for me because of these shades." Dave said angrily blowing his bangs out of his face. 

"Aww it's okay Dave, did he give you any for this year?" You say smiling as you see the side of his mouth twitch downwards. 

"No" he says defiantly. 

"He totally did!" You burst out laughing and even Jade starts giggling making Dave turn as red as his shirt. 

"Shut up no I didn't" he said turning his head to the right trying to avoid eye contact. 

"You so did! Man I hope she's one of your teachers Dave that'd be hilarious" you say trying to contain the grin that made your face feel like it was falling off. 

"Crazy bitch would probably rip it up and then take my glasses and snap them." Dave said making the crunch sound of glasses snapping with his mouth and hand motions to go with the imaginary action. 

"Okay guys enough about that, moment of truth do we have a class together" you tore into your envelope ignoring the fact you probably should be at least a little bit careful with this since you'll definitely need it the next few days.

"No John wait!" Jade said grabbing your hand before you could pull the piece of paper out of the envelope. 

"What?" You ask slightly annoyed and very confused. 

"Let's go back to my room then we can hang out and watch movies afterwards" you had to admit that sounded nice. You shrugged and nodded your head and Dave nodded, grabbing your hand as Jade led the way to her place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who do you think will win???
> 
> My tumblr is turntechbio and my kik is nevervperfect im always open to talk if you need to or want to! I'm on like every second of every day!
> 
> (combined the what was next chapter with what was and is currently this one so thats why who do you think will win is still up there (12-30-15))


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tbh I just wrote this its shit im sorry I said in the last update I'd update the same day obvi that didn't happen for a long list of reasons. But anyways I'm sorry this took forever i'm sorry its going to kinda get sad again I'm just in that kinda place right now...

You made it into the room, glancing down at your envelope, the suspense had made your anxiety levels sky rocket and your lip was starting to regain the faint metallic taste that let you know you were about to start bleeding everywhere. You gently sucked on your lip as Jade and Dave bickered over what movie to play. Jade was furiously insisting that they watch Hotel Transylvania and Dave was furiously disagreeing insisting on watching some TV show instead. 

“But Jade, theres fucking narwhals in it Jade, narwhals!”

“Dave no! This is a movie night! We don't have time for another one of your lame kids shows” Dave scoffed and you found yourself quietly laughing at the two. 

“Okay one, they aren't lame, two, they may be on Disney XD but they're meant for anyone to enjoy them and three, you didn’t seem to call Gravity Falls lame when I showed it to you” Dave glared at Jade who in turn glared right back. 

After about five more minutes of seeing who would break eye contact first you got bored and decided to get involved. You stood up from your spot on the floor and left your letter in its place before walking in between the two and pushing them apart. Dave jumped when you touched him and Jade started giggling. You took a deep breath and held in a yawn before you finally started talking. 

“Dave your shows are the epitome of lame but I must admit Gravity Falls is pretty good and don’t tell me who the author is I’m not caught up at like all, Jade your taste in movies is shit we are not watching Hotel Transylvania which may I remind you is also targeted at kids just like Gravity Falls. Since you two can’t act like responsible adults I’ll make the decision.” You picked up the apple TV remote and typed in as quickly as you could with the four button remote the name of the desired movie. 

“Oh fuck no, babe this relationship is over we are not watching this shit” Dave said reaching for the remote after you had quickly hit play. 

“Yea John I’m with Dave on this one this movie is pretty awful” You stood on your tiptoes trying to not let Jade or Dave get ahold of the remote. 

“What? Blasphemy! Failure to Launch is a great movie! Matthew McConaughey is even in it!” You say jumping when Dave made an almost successful lunge towards the remote. 

“John he’s awful!” Jade says whining next to your ear as she practically climbs you like a tree in an attempt to get the remote. 

“Stop with the lies!” You say dramatically and fling the remote onto Jades bed and laugh as she pounces straight towards it. 

“She’s right babe Matthew McConaughey is complete shit” Dave said kissing your forehead before leaving his arms wrapped around you in a loose hug. 

“Ugh were already a few minutes in might as well keep it” Jade sighs before plopping down on her bed lazily reaching towards her letter. 

“So you guys ready?” She asked lazily opening the envelope. 

“Yea sure” Dave said grabbing his out of his back pocket. 

“I’d do a countdown but who needs one this is just our schedule” you say chuckling nervously, your chest felt like a truck was constantly ramming your ribs from the inside, you were going to throw up. 

You feel Dave’s hand on your free one but it doesn't do anything but amplify the feeling you jerk your hand free and notice even with Dave hiding behind his shades that he's hurt. You look away feeling guilty and sick to your stomach. You cant do this, yes you can don’t be stupid its a simple fucking schedule whats so hard about it? You close your eyes and try to clear your mind and even out your breathing. When you open them Dave and Jade are exchanging schedules. 

“So we have AP Physics, AP Gov and Latin 3 together, sweet now I know who to get the homework answers from” Dave says laughing but you can tell from his voice he was upset about something, and that something was definitely you. 

You unfold your schedule and look at it. Its weird, different from your old school, you still have 8 classes but they have different days an A day and a B day, 4 classes for each day. On A days you have Photography first period then Spanish 3, AP Bio then Pre-calc. On B days you have Film Making, English, AP Gov and Piano. You walk over to Jade and Dave and sit next to Jade since Dave was standing on her other side. 

“Oh you and Dave have photography together! Oh! And English and Oh! Oh my gosh we all have AP Gov together! Yes!!!” jade leapt up from her bed and punched the air screaming at the top of her lungs. Both you and Dave cringed as you covered your ears.

“Jesus fucking christ Harley there are other people in this building” Dave said, not taking his hands off of his hears even though Jade had stopped. 

Jades face turned red, “Oh, ha ha ha, oops” Jade said sheepishly starting the back of her neck trying and failing to look nonchalant about the whole ordeal. Dave just rolled his eyes, or you assumed he did since his shades were still on his face. 

“Whatever lets watch the movie guys this is my favorite part!” You say trying to make the atmosphere in the room less awkward. 

You went to go sit next to Dave but he moved to the other side of Jade, leaving you alone. Your mouth was open, the words you wanted to say dying in your throat. He turned his head towards the TV pointedly ignoring your gaze, Jade looked between the two of you before deciding it was best for everyone if she didn't ask about it at this very second. You could feel the tears forming in your eyes and you sniffled a little as you clenched your fists. You won't be upset, you can’t be upset, this is kind of your fault. Everything is your fault. You're so fucking stupid you ruin everything, and after everything Dave has found out about today, it only makes sense that he’s acting like you're infected. A tear slips down your face and Jade see it and smiles,

“Don’t worry John he’ll get with her in the end!” 

Jade’s bright cheery voice grates your ears and you wanna go to bed. You feel bile rise up from your stomach and you decide its time to go, your chest hurts your head hurts you're going to be sick. Your knees go numb and phantom bruises start to beat in agonizing pain. You look at Dave and the pain just amplifies, you cant do this you can’t, you need to leave you need to leave now.

“Uh hey guys, I don’t feel so great, I think I’m just tired from the long trip here…” You smile nervously as you rub the back of your neck. 

“S-so Im just going to head back o-okay?” You quietly scream at yourself for stuttering and clearly letting just how nervous you were show through your voice. 

“Are you sure you're okay John?” Jade asked, giving you a questioning but concerned look. 

“Yeah, yeah! I’m perfectly fine just tired is all” You say grabbing your schedule and feeling to make sure you still had your phone in your pocket. 

“Okay” She says clearly not fully convinced but that’s okay, you're positive you’ll tell her all about it soon anyways. 

“Do you need me to walk you home babe?” Dave asks and a flash of anger runs through you when he calls you babe. 

Who does he think he is? Not sitting next to his boyfriend and not speaking to him at all during the whole fucking movie or even not fucking cuddling him. Who does he think he is that he thinks that I’ll ignore all that and be all super fine and dandy with him still calling me babe. 

“No I don’t” I seethe out knowing he could read the message written in my face clearly, it read i was pissed, “I’ll be fine you enjoy the rest of your night, goodnight,” You open the door and step out into the hallway, “To both of you” You add before shutting the door and releasing the flood gates in your eyes. 

You ran out, tears streaming down your face and your vision blurred. Luckily the pathway to each dorm was lit up and there weren't many people out exploring the campus. You make it to your dorm in what you're assuming is record time and burst through your door. The only thing on your mind is your bed and collapsing into it. 

“Who the fuck are you?” Some guy you're assuming is your roommate asks, you kinda hope he’s not though and that he s a murderer, then maybe he’d stab you and this pain would all go away. 

“Fuck off” You say as you break down into your pillow and sob. 

Eventually your sobs lessen and your left softly hiccuping yourself to sleep, the closest thing to death without the commitment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Talk to me on:  
>  twitter--> @hannahishannah  
>  tumblr--> @turntechbio  
>  kik--> nevervperfect


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This really is just Jade and Dave talking having a feelings Jam, I'm sorry that my updates are so sporadic I just have kinda been feeling shitty and lost inspiration to write this, but I'm starting to feel slightly inspired again so don't worry I wont ditch this fic, not after I've come this far! Thank you all for sticking around enjoy!

You watched John leave and let out a heavy sigh. Your head hurt, today has been too crazy for even you to fully handle without a break. You can’t relax in your own headspace for too long because soon enough your shoulder is in some serious pain and you feel the beginning of a bruise start to form. 

“What the fuck happened between you two?!” Jade practically shouted as I winced at her already loud voice yelling straight into my ear.

“Nothing!” you say rubbing your arm wincing overtime you put a bit too much pressure on it. 

“Bull-fucking-shit Strider he was /crying/ for god sakes!” Jade said never lowering her voice even once. 

“I don’t know what to tell you Jade it’s not my fault! A lot of stuff has happened today! I’m just so stressed out right now” You say running your hand through your hair, feeling a few pieces fall out as you tug on it a bit trying to release some of the pent up frustration. 

“Is this about Karkat? Did John even explain what happened to you? Do you know?” Jade asked and you could feel the anger and tears start to build up inside of you.

“Yeah I know most of it” You say sighing pulling out more of your hair. 

“Well let me tell you all of it, at least from my perspective, believe it or not I was not the first person to hear of the incident or anything, I was kept completely in the dark and I guess in some way it’s all my fault John got to the point he was at. And to be completely honest with you I still believe its all my fault…” You watched as a tear ran down Jade’s face and you just knew that that was the first of many to come. 

“I don’t remember him ever coming to me about the pranks or when he was beat up, I don’t remember because at the time I was too busy being completely head over heals for a guy, ha, I was so fucking stupid,” Jade paused sniffling a bit and wiping the tears out of her eyes. 

“His name was Vinny, it was the classic bad boy good girl type deal. We were so fucking cliche it hurt even back then.” She lets out a hollow laugh before she continues. “He was perfect at first, so sweet and atentative to my needs. He was always there, holding my hand, hugging me, kissing me like we were straight out of a sappy teen romance novel. God how I wish I wasn’t so fucking stupid, everything was truly too good to be true. It wasn’t until around our one month did I start noticing how protective he was of me. Not in the cute way either, he even started getting jealous of Jake, my god damn brother. I brushed it off at first because I was in love, he made me happy or so I thought, so I just ignored it and assured him I was his and never would leave. It was around that time…” She took a deep breathe. 

“It was around the time he started hitting me, it seemed harmless at first a light punch on my arm but then he was full out punching me in the face, he ever broke my wrist once, should've heard the story I spun to Jake, some days I wish he didn’t believe that story. Vinny controlled me completely, every aspect of my life, he even had control over my phone and by around the two month mark he took it from me completely telling off everyone who tried to communicate with me, threatening to beat them up if they even attempted to contact me again. John was one of those people, and to this day I still have no idea what he needed to talk to me about,” You watch as she again wipes away tears, her cheeks were already so wet and you could feel your heart breaking not just for John but for her. 

“It was a few days after that, or may just a day? Thats when he was raped by Gamzee Makara and Eridan Ampora… R-Restrained by Equius Zahhak and Vriska Serket practically organizing the whole damn thing. I heard nothing about it, not for another week, even then Jake just said we were going to LA for John. He didn’t tell me anything, probably because it was too hard for even him himself to fully process. I remember those few days vividly. I remember hearing Jake sobbing into the phone, I remember him screaming and I remember him breaking down in the kitchen when he had found out through your sister Roxy. I remember him throwing the pan he was about to use to make mac and cheese at the wall in anger. I remember listening from the living room and crying with him even though I had no clue what was going on. That time was hard for everyone and after Jakes break down I realized just how much he cared about his family and realized that if he found out about Vinny abusing me it would only add to the stress he had going on in his life. So when Jake said we were going to LA for a few days I realized that this was it, this was my opportunity. I went over to his house and with all the courage I had told him it was over.” 

“God was he furious, I saw the change from happy to furious in about .5 seconds. He wasted no time decking me in the face, calling me a dumb cheating bitch. He told me I was worthless and I’d never find anyone who could love me. He told me he didn’t even love me because he just wanted a guaranteed quick fuck.” You moved slightly closer so you could hold Jade in your arms as she sobbed and continued her story. 

“and you know what Dave, I believed him. I really did believe him. Before Jake came to pick me up to go to the airport I ran back to the house and quickly covered my bruises. It wasn’t hard anymore I had been covering bruises everyday for over a month now, I knew exactly what to do. Jake picked me up and I stayed quite, only smiling at him when he asked a question” Jade took a deep breathe, trying to control her tears. 

“Rose was the one who told me about what had happened to John. We had arrived and her and Roxy had been the ones to meet us at the airport. She could tell right away that I was covering up something but she never pushed me to tell her, and I never did. She told me about John and the rape and the pranks, hell she even pulled up that stupid ass Facebook page and I just couldn’t here I was thinking my life was so awful and throwing a high class pity party for myself when John had gone through so much worse, and to make me feel even more awful he had tried to reach out to me and I ignored him… and for what? Some grade-a douche bag who never even loved me in the first place? No one saw me break down when we got to Roxy’s place.”

All you could do was stare at Jade and tentatively brush a hand across her cheek, she had no more bruises physically but mentally you knew there were way too many to count. It hurt, it really did fucking hurt knowing that all your friends have been through so much and have hurt so much. It makes you so angry, angry at yourself for not being there, angry at the people who did this to them. How many times have your friends broken down without anyone knowing? How many times have they hurt themselves? How many times did they beleive the lies of people who weren't even worth their time? How many? You snapped, you started to cry. 

“I found a picture of John, it was after one of the pranks, it was awful seeing him so beaten down like that.” You said after it was clear Jades story wasn’t going to continue. 

“You know how we met right? Through a desk, sounds fucking bat shit insane right? Well we did, for about a good 3 weeks I was convinced he was a ghost, I even searched up ‘dead guys by the name of John Egbert’ but didn’t find any that were connected with Houston at all. Around the time he disappeared, now I know they just closed the room, but I thought, oh shit something bad must’ve happened to the kid after the initial, well maybe he’s just sick or skipping school. So I instead looked up “John Egbert” and wow do I regret it. I found the exact face book page that Rose must’ve shown you. I scrolled through it staring in horror at what was on it. And before I reported it I refreshed it and the video popped up. I didn’t watch it all. I did watch enough to know what happened though. I reported the facebook page and convinced myself to forget about it and that wasn't the John I knew, couldn’t be.”

“When I found the picture today it brought back all the memories I had made myself forget about the facebook page. I couldn’t believe that this was my John, I couldn’t believe that someone had hurt him like that, I just, I didn’t know what to do and to find out he also has been cutting himself? I just couldn’t handle it I wanted to break down so badly but whats the point of two sad boys, beside’s John would feel like it was his fault if I started crying and I didn’t want that, I just want to make him happy, I want to make him the happiest god damn person on this planet Jade, it’s not even close to funny how much I care about this kid. It was a big punch in the gut when I found out that he was the kid on that page, it was an even bigger punch that he didn’t tell me about it. I felt like he couldn’t trust me and that hurt because what if he views me the same way he sees fucking Karkat or god forbid Gamzee and Eridan.” You shudder and Jade runs a calming hand down the length of your arm. 

“Anyways everything was fine after I punched Karkat and I realized John didn’t view me like him at all, but a small part of me still believed John was terrified of me. Then just now he flinched away from my touch like I had burned him Jade, he couldn’t even look me in the god damn eyes Jade. I just felt like I was doing everything completely wrong and that John was sick of me. So I gave him space assuming that that was what he needed since he didn’t seem to want to be near me and again just now, he glared at me like I was the most vile creature on this earth. I just feel so inadequate Jade. Also I know I cant complain for him not telling me shit, God knows I don’t tell him half the stuff that’s happened to me. Just. Fuck. I screwed up.” 

You angrily rub yours eyes on your sleeve annoyed by the fact that the tears wont stop. 

“I don’t think you should tell him yet Dave, your shit is pretty deep and I think after today it’ll just make John feel even worse.” Jade said glancing at the clock. “Its almost curfew you should get going, sorry, I don’t mean to kick you out at a time like this” You shake your head and try to get your breathing to even out. 

“N-No, s’cool I get it. You're right John’s not in the right place for me to go and unload all my heavy shit on him, I also should probably patch things up with him tonight at the earliest, tomorrow morning at the latest. Catch you in class tomorrow Harley” You stand up brushing off imaginary dirt on your pants and take a step towards the door. 

“Oh and Harley?” You say turning the door knob put not yet pulling the door open. 

“Yea Strider?” Jade answers and you know she’s attempting to hold her tears back.

“I love you, thanks for listening tonight… it means a lot to me, really it does.” You don’t even look at her as you say it, you just open the door, step out and shut it behind you. Sparing a single second to rest your back on the cool wood before opening your eyes and releasing a shaky breathe. 

You really fucked up today, and somehow, you don’t think you’re going to do much better tomorrow…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Talk to me on  
> Tumblr--> turntechbio  
> kik--> nevervperfect  
> twitter--> hannahishannah


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm super sorry this took over a month and I just am running out of ideas and I'm actually not really happy with this chapter at like all???? I'm sorry????

You stood in front of Johns door, your lip bleeding from how much you've been chewing on it on the way here. You knock on the door once before you hear the faint sound of someone moving around, it was past curfew, you knew that. Look at you, such a rebel, staying out past curfew on the first day of school. Your lame attempt to lighten the mood in your head was failing epically. The door swung open and you were greeted by a lanky kid with floppy black hair, 3D glasses on top of his head holding his hair back off of his face. 

"What ith it, do you know what time it ith" he says and you're shocked by the lisp. It doesn't sound too bad on him at all. 

"S-sorry I know it's late, your lisp is hella cool by the way, also where's John?" It was clear the kid wasn't going to let you into the room since he was blocking the doorway by leaning against it. 

"Your boyfriend ith fatht athleep, came in all dithtraught, pretty thure he cried himthelf to thleep" you could tell by the way he glared at you like he knew it was all your fault. 

"Can I come in please?" You say running a hand through your hair ignoring the fact a few hairs were pulled out in the process. 

"It'th patht curfew" his voice showed zero sympathy for the situation you were in. 

"Please" you stressed out the 'e' in please, you felt like you were about to start crying, you couldn't lose John, not over this. 

You watched the guy close his eyes and rub his temples. Before moving out of the way and opening the door for you. 

"You can't thleep over" was all he said before he closed the door and went back to his bed where an expensive looking computer sat. You didn't look over at it though because the first thing you went for was the dark sleeping figure hidden beneath two layers of blankets. 

You wanted to just lay on top of him and hold the bundles until you felt Johns warm hands on your cold skin. But you knew with these layers that was practically impossible. So instead you took your time, navigating through the limbs that were not tucked neatly under the bottom blanket but instead configured into a jigsaw making you cringe when his foot dropped none to gently back down onto the bed. You searched his face to see any signs of him waking up but nothing, he was still sound asleep. 

After a while you had figured out the puzzle and moved John over enough so you could slip into the bed with him. You wrapped your arms as best you could around his waist and buried your head into his chest, mumbling half broken apologies as they mixed in with the tears on your face. Now that John was in your arms you could imagine any better feeling in the world. You couldn't lose him, not now. You held him tighter to you, rambling on about everything but at the same time absolutely nothing. Half formed sentences faded into metaphors that didn't even correctly display the effect you were going for. Your words half silenced by the material of Johns shirt and the slow warmth radiating off his chest with every heartbeat. No, you couldn't lose John. Not yet. 

You don't know what time it was, nor could you remember if it was ever asked of you. All you know is that by the end of your rambling when words just didn't feel like enough and you were pressing chaste kisses across Johns clothed chest, his heartbeat sped up, and hands began to run soothingly down your back and play softly with your hair. 

"I'm so sorry" you said. "I'm so fucking sorry John I was so stupid I shouldn't have acted like that, I let you down when you needed me the most, you needed me John and I just, I just wasn't there, fuck, I'm so fucking sorry ."

John just let out a low "shhhh"rubbing soothing circles into your back as you cried into his chest. 

"Fuck John this isn't cool, crying like this isn't cool, I'm sorry" John just pulled Dave closer to him and shushed him again. 

"Dave listen, we can talk about it in the morning okay? I'm not up right now, just please, stay the night?" He pressed a quick kiss to your cheek before settling into the pillow letting out a content sigh as his hands never stopped running slow circles in to the small of your back. 

"Yea of course, it's late I know that, we can just talk about it in the morning, that's cool, I'm cool" You said trying to slow down the rate of your beating heart. 

"Hey Dave? Shut up" John said, but you could tell it was completely playful, no malice behind his words at all. 

"Okay" 

"Hey Dave?" John said again, this time in a whisper so only you could hear it. 

"Hmm?" 

"I love you" John said quickly connecting your lips before falling back into the pillow, this time pulling You much closer towards him. 

"I love you too" You say smiling as you hug your boyfriend tightly. 

When you wake up in the morning you see a disappointed face glaring down at you. 

"I had one rule Thrider, one rule" 

You rub your eyes too tired to open them yet, so you just let out a questioning grunt in response. 

"Don't thtay the night, one thimple fucking rule you couldn't follow" 

"How do you know my name?" Was the first coherent question that came to your mind then popped out of your mouth. 

"I athked John about it when he woke up Thith morning dip thit." 

"Where is he" you said, finally noticing a distinct lack of John in your personal space, which was to say the very least, disappointing. 

"In the thower, now you better not be planning to get into any thit while I'm in the room, put a thock on the door at leatht pleathe" the guy sighed heavily as he packed up a piece of what looked like useless scrap piece of metal into a bag. 

"Where you going lispy?" Your half asleep brain urging you that lispy was a cool ass nickname and the awake part calling you an asshole for making fun of someone's speech impediment. 

"To my fucking boyfriendth room, not that that ith any of your buithness Thrider." Lispy says as he swings the bag over his shoulder. 

"You're gay?" You say suddenly more interested in the dude, only because the only other guy you've met that was also gay besides John was your brother, it was a new experience for you. 

"Bi, altho the name ith Thollux not lithpy" Thollux, or you guess Sollux since his lisp, says as he stand in the now open doorway. 

"Sweet maybe I'll have to meet your boyfriend since I'll be over here quite a lot and you'll probably bring him over here." 

"That'th unlikely" Sollux said shifting the weight of the bag from his right shoulder to his left. 

"Oh yea, why's that" you had long misplaced your shades so your red eyes stared right at Sollux who looked completely unphased by the strange colored eyes. 

"He'd get jealouth of John" something in the way he said it made you not push any further even though thousands of questions ran through your mind. 

Later. That's what you told yourself... Later. 

You watched as he quickly said goodbye and shut the door behind you. Silence filled the dorm room except for the constant flow of water undoubtably going to John as be took a shower that you felt lasted way too long. As you waited you cleared your mind of all thoughts, not really in the mood to think at all. You leaned back and once your head touched the back of the pillow you were out like a light. You didn't even get to see John walk in with just a towel on. An opportunity was surely missed, you'll have to plan a search party for it later, right now you were to busy off in dream land to care about anything happening in real life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol I was gonna pair sollux with Eridan cause OTP af but then I was like eridan is in jail so he's gonna be with someone else and I have a pretty good idea who, leave your guesses in the comments though!


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I legit wrote this in like 10 minutes lol still don't know where this is going but also hey! I'm going to be combining previous chapters because 32 chapters is a bit ridiculous and I don't even know if it's close to ending yet so!!!!! Just an FYI there's not any changes in the story it's the exact same chapters will just be combined in some places now.

You walked out of the shower, a frown resting on your face, there was a distinct lack of computer parts being knocked together and moved around so you knew Sollux probably left already, which doesn't surprise you since he talked to you about it this morning when you had woken up. 

You look over at Dave and your frown deepens, you aren't an idiot. Fights take two people. You aren't completely innocent in all of this, but you feel like it's not your place to fix it. You shook your head, trying to get rid of the negative thoughts. Dave came to you, Dave wanted to fix it, he wanted this. So why were you still so angry? Why did you not want things to be okay again? Well no, that's a lie, you wanted things to be okay, but you want to make it very clear that you were not okay about this whole situation. 

Your face softens as Dave turns in his sleep, blonde hair tousled up from the pillow. Your anger was still present, but less so as you quickly took a change of clothes and went back to the bathroom to change into them. Coming back out you see Dave still hasn't moved so you decide to get back into bed with him, leaning down to kiss his forehead before you wrapped your arms around his waist, successfully becoming the "big spoon". 

You lay there for a moment, listening to the soft lull of Dave's heartbeat as it pulled you into a deep sense of relaxation. You weren't going to lose Dave, not today. Not over this. As you lay there listening to Dave's heart beat you realize this whole thing is stupid, also that Dave must have his own reasons to react how he did and you didn't even think of what his life must've been like, he showed you his arms, a frown returns on your face as your mind wanders wondering what happened and how his life spiraled down so much he thought that that was the only viable solution. 

Your chest begin to tighten and physically hurt at the thought, causing you to feel sick. You had to stop, you needed to stop. You closed your eyes and buried your head into the crook of Dave's neck, biting down softly on his neck to try and distract your mind from the intrusive depressing thoughts, as you continued to bite down a bit harder than what John himself would consider pleasurable and way too short to leave any thing that didn't resemble teeth marks. The thoughts weren't leaving though and it was an all out fight in your mind trying to get part of it too shut up and the other to fully distract you. Neither were being very successful at the moment. 

Dave's moans cut through your inner turmoil with your own voices inside your head. Your teeth keep hold of the piece of flesh you were currently biting down on and as a last minute decision you gently sucked, watching as Dave slightly arched forward with his chest, pushing back his head so you had better access. 

"John" he mumbled out as you but down on another part of his neck, no longer doing it to try and drown out the voices in your head. 

"John" he says and turns so he's facing you now, no words are exchanged before you lean forward and catch his lips with your own. 

The kiss quickly escalates and you find yourself loving to straddle Dave, never once pulling away from the kiss. Every single place that was touching Dave felt like it was on fire. It was addicting. You wanted to be so much closer to him, but why? You bit down harshly on Dave's bottom lip as you remembered you were supposed to be angry at him. With the way Dave's hands traveled underneath your shirt that task was quickly becoming more and more impossible as time ticked on. 

"Dave" you said, finally breaking the kiss, pulling away with a small gasp and barely audible whimper from Dave. 

"We can't, we need to talk" Dave's whole body slumps and he sighs heavily. 

You watch as he brings a hand up to run through his hair despite laying down. You watch as both hands cover his face as he rubs at his eyes, letting out a long drawn out yawn. 

"Yea... We do need to talk" Dave's hands find themselves on your hips, you're still on top of him and neither of you seem to be in a huge hurry to move, or even start talking. 

You shift your hips a bit and slowly, almost regrettably slide yourself off Dave and fall on your back, laying down next to him. Still neither of you wanted this talk to start or be the one to start it so the silence hung heavy over the two of you. You decided, it wasn't your place to start, it was Dave's. You decided, you could wait until he was ready. 

You glanced over and saw Dave's eyes were shut tightly and his facial expression was drawn in such away that you knew he was in deep concentration. Probably figuring out the right words to say and what metaphors to tie in so he didn't come off as caring too much. Which was pointless since you knew and he knew you knew how much he cared about this and you. You also knew though that Dave found comfort in long drawn out rambles, it made everything easier to get out and he felt safe revealing secrets of himself in ways only few could differ from the truth to completely made up bullshit. 

You watch as Dave takes in a deep breath and watch as his chest rises, pauses, then lowers as he slowly and dramatically exhales. He makes a huge show of pushing himself so he's sitting up, leaning his back against the headboard as he softly bangs his head against it, beating himself up over something you have yet to know of. 

"Get ready Egbert, you just booked yourself a first class ticket to Strider Feels Extravaganza: Cruise ship edition."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow im so glad i went back because it completely escaped my mind that John and Dave have tickets for a Disney cruise in march??? like wow forgot tthat, i mean for them its january so it doesnt matter but stilllllllll, just woah
> 
> I need songs for my song fic collection so please recommend any to me!!!! Also any pairings you'd like to see written with the song!!! I have a long drive to Florida so I'll probably do some of them!!!


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly i've been reading the fics in the haikyuu!! tag because ughhh i love Haikyuu!! so much it isn't even funny and so this is basically me not wanting to tell Dave's story yet since I haven't actually gotten back into the style in which I normally write him. 
> 
> So when I remember how to write characters correctly you'll get something more substantial but you'll have to deal with this first I'm afraid, also I didn't want to write Sollux's lisp so I didn't lmao

Sollux didn’t know John very well. In fact it was safe to say he knew nothing about him at all. So when he left this morning he wasn’t at all sure if that guy Dave would be able to save their relationship. You secretly hoped it crumbled into a bunch of tiny pieces since a guy named Dave broke your boyfriends nose and you have a pretty good feeling that John’s Dave is the very same one. Your hand grips the strap of your bag hard at the thought of someone hurting Karkat. The only reason you hadn’t done anything was because you weren’t ever sure if that was the correct Dave. 

“Shit” You mutter as you walk across the lawn to Karkat’s dorm, your headache is coming back and you didn’t even think to bring any Advil with you. For the second time that day you sincerely hope Dave’s talk with John goes horribly. 

As you enter the building you quickly make your way to Karkat’s room, against your judgement he didn’t request to get switched with another roommate, claiming he had no energy to go through that process. You rub your forehead as you open the door, muttering about how you gave Dave one rule, one simple rule. 

“All I asked was for him to not stay the night, one simple rule, and what does he do? He fucking breaks it that fucking asshole” You slaw the door shut behind you and look at your boyfriend with his nose all wrapped up and purple bruises poking out from behind the bandages. Another burst of hatred for Dave courses through you and you really hope he doesn’t show up here and isn’t in your room when you get back, you don’t know if you could handle that.

“It isn’t even 10 o’clock yet and you’re already in a pissy mood” Karkat says getting up from his spot on the bed to go to the bathroom where he grabs a bottle of Advil. 

“I love you” Is all you say taking the bottle and the water bottle Karkat held out for you. 

“Yea, yea, must’ve been in a rush to get out of your room if you forgot to even take some medicine this morning.” Karkat says, letting you envelop him in a hug, being mindful not to squish his face into your chest like you usually do. 

“You would not believe my night Karkles” You lead him over to his bed, and pull him into your lap, making sure he’s comfortable and that your grip around him is tight enough to calm you down you begin to retell your night.   
   
“There I was just minding my own business working on the new processor for my laptop, when the door comes flying open and I meet my roommate for the second time, he didn’t even talk to me! I met him when he was basically banging his boyfriend and then the next time I see him he just runs to his bed and literally cried himself to sleep. Not that I cared, I figured I’d just be all like, ‘Oh I hope you’re okay’ in the morning and he’d be the cool dude who’d go ‘I’m fine thanks’ and that would be that.” You seethe out the words fuming. 

“It get’s worse though because no, I couldn’t just have a nice small conversation with John when he woke up making sure he didn’t get raped in the middle of the night or something, Karkat are you okay?” Karkat had gone completely rigid in your arms and his face was unreadable. You had never seen him like this before and it was beginning to scare you. 

“I’m fine, continue” You don’t believe him for a second but you know he’ll tell you when he’s ready, he always tells you. 

“Anyways his boyfriend comes rushing to the door and you won’t believe who the motherfucker is. It’s Dave, I’m 99.9% sure it’s the same Dave that did that to your face.” You say leaning in to gently kiss the tip of Karkat’s nose covered in bandages. 

“Anyways Dave looks like an absolute wreck, he must’ve been super worried about John, now I know it’s cause they got in a fight, I kinda assumed it you know, the crying and then Dave showing up like 20 minutes later. Anyways against my better judgement I let the guy in and with one rule Karkles, one flipping rule. No sleeping over and you know what that motherfucker did Karkles?” You ask squeezing just a bit to tightly around Karkat’s waist. 

“He slept over” Karkat says still looking tense but playing along with you which was a good sign. 

“Motherfucker fucking slept over” You were seething now, angry over how someone so simple minded couldn’t just follow one simple rule. 

“That isn’t the worst though, I woke up before either of them and you should’ve seen how innocent he looked, he looked like he had never done any wrong when he was clinging to John like that. I know I’ve barely even talked to the guy but when he makes his boyfriend cry like that and when he punched you in the nose… I can’t help but feel like he doesn’t deserve the happiness he has” You push your glasses up onto the top of your head, holding your bangs back as you let your head fall onto Karkat’s shoulder. 

It’s quiet for a long time, you control your breathing and Karkat gently rubs circles into your arm until you feel calm again. Your headache is still there but much fainter than before. You just want to forget about Dave and John and everything, you just want to focus on the fact that your boyfriend is finally in the same school as you and you can finally do everything you’ve wanted to, like hold his hand, walk him to his classes and kiss him whenever you want. You guys have dated for a year and this is the first time you’ve ever been this close. 

“I deserved it” Karkat is the one to break the silence.   
   
“I deserved it” He repeats and you still give a puzzling look. 

“Karkat what are you talking about?” You lift your head up and you see he’s about to cry, you pull him closer feeling very protective of him as he curls up into you. 

“I deserved that punch, I deserved it a lot but not from Dave.” Karkat looks up at you with his eyes glossed over.

“I deserved that punch from John” He says in absolute seriousness. 

“What the fuck no you didn’t you didn’t do anything at all! It was completely uncalled for!” Karkat looks away from you trying to pull against your hands that had come up to cup his face. 

“Sollux, I… I really fucked up… Now that John is here and your roommate you’re really going to hate me” He shuts his eyes as he removes your hands from his cheeks.

“Karkat, stop fucking around you know I love you, nothing you can say will ever change that so stop scaring me you asshole” since your hands were removed from his face you decided to wrap them around his waist so he couldn’t go hide somewhere without an explanation. 

“Don’t ever ask if John was raped and don’t bring up his last school” was all Karkat said before he leaned up and kissed you. 

The kiss was wet and messy. Overall it felt super rushed and from the way Karkat kept dragging his teeth along your lips you knew he was trying to distract you. You really didn’t want to give in because honestly Karkat’s behavior was scaring you, did he cheat on you? Did he rape John? A billion questions rushed through your head and you were starting to get another headache. You decided it wasn’t worth worrying about, apparently John knew what was bothering Karkat so you’d just ask him the same exact questions Karkat asked you not to. With that settled you gripped Karkat’s waist tightly and flipped him over onto his back before deepening the kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on twitter and ask me questions to confuse my cheer team --> @hannahishannah  
> or message me on kik if you want to have deep conversations on my gay babes--> nevervperfect


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